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My boyfriend's penis is too big

(18 Posts)
madamezouzou Fri 14-Dec-12 10:03:35

First of all, sorry in advance for the TMI!

My boyfriend has a much bigger than avg. penis. The only position in which sex doesn't hurt is missionary, and it's getting a bit dull for both of us! I'd really like to have a more adventurous sex life.

Would lube really make that much difference to pain from size? I don't have issues with dryness.

And, am I right in thinking that men don't need to go ALL the way in? Does it really feel that much better for them? With us it's impossible anyway, but I get the feeling that he thinks his penis should be fully inside me. I guess I need to talk to him about not going too deep.

This has all come to a head with another bout of cystitis for me, which I am prone to anyway, but which I read on the internet can be caused by a bruised bladder from sex :-( I think we really need to get this sorted.

WizardofOs Fri 14-Dec-12 10:12:40

No they do not need to go all the way in but they do need to be controlled and unselfish. The lube won't help if it is an issue with length. If you are on top could you control the depth and from behind he can control the depth. It is possible (from experience!).

You could also try out positions with shallow penetration like with you on your tummy with pillow under hips and he behind. There must be others you could google.

loopylou6 Fri 14-Dec-12 11:23:35

No it doesn't need to go all the way in as the nerves are in the head, but as poster above says, he has to not be selfish and make sure he controls himself.

You could try spooning sex, both on your sides iyswim? That would be quite shallow.

aibu to now really want to know how many inches his penis is? grin

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr Fri 14-Dec-12 11:25:49

tsk, he just has not learnt how to use his tools in a way that both you and him are experiencing pleasure. Amateur wink

BertieBotts Fri 14-Dec-12 11:30:12

I'm a small person and have experienced this before - TBH I think it would be a deal breaker for me long term. Cystitis is a pain in the arse. Okay, he doesn't have to go all the way in but that kind of takes the spontenaety out of sex a bit doesn't it? It would require him to physically stop himself which means you can't just lose yourself in the moment.

skiesmylimit Fri 14-Dec-12 11:39:06

My DH is quite big too, bigger than average, I think? 9 inches.

He sometimes hurts me and has learnt to either not go all the way in, what positions he can and to sometimes just be very careful

dequoisagitil Fri 14-Dec-12 11:50:08

He needs to be more considerate. Cystitis is no fun at all.

BelaLugosisShed Fri 14-Dec-12 12:05:38

You can buy a large ring to fit on him and this physically stops him going in too deep, it looks a bit like a doughnut however so may be quite amusing.

Anyone remember the thread about the website for braggers poor men with very large cocks?

VoiceofUnreason Fri 14-Dec-12 12:12:54

I dunno. Half the time it's too big, half the time it's too small. Blokes can't win.

About time there was a thread from the guys about slack fanjos.... wink

CaroleService Fri 14-Dec-12 12:14:22

I was going to post that, Bela. Apparently the donut can offer, erm, fringe benefits also ...

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 14-Dec-12 12:19:11

I would seek medical advice as soon as possible, I'd be asking the GP to refer you to a gynae. Deep pain during sex is very indicative of endometriosis being present.

SueFawley Fri 14-Dec-12 12:29:21

When I was in my early 20's I had a boyfriend who was too big, too long and too much girth. Lube was no help at all. He had to learn not to penetrate me fully - having my cervix banged on a regular basis was a huge turnoff as it can be very painful. Until he learned to hold back, we found that in addition to missionary, the only other position that was ok was standing up, which isn't my fav at all.

dondon33 Fri 14-Dec-12 12:32:06

The 'doughnut' works a treat even though hilariously comical I think we ordered it from Love Honey, possibly another online shop, there's many so I'm sure you'll find one that stocks them.
Yeah he does need to be more considerate, he can but I found it sometimes went out of the window when he reached the point of no return, so to speak, the need to push deeper, at times, seemed to be involuntary. We remedied that one though and he now doesn't often finish inside smile

Missionary does become a tad boring when that's all that is comfy. TM^personal^I blush - I love doggy position but it was near impossible to continue for longer than a few seconds but reverse cowgirl fecking hate these stupid names is very good, position yourself forwards and your in control of how deep you go. You on tummy is another that doesn't allow him to penetrate as deep.

loopylou6 YANBU smile

Justesayin Fri 14-Dec-12 12:40:00

"Missionary" sex all the time does sound really dull. There are so many fun things you could do! Do you absolutely need to have intercourse every time you have sex? If not, you could try to pleasure each other with hands, mouth, feet, various body parts, tools, toys, water, ice...whatever you could think of!
Your imagination and physical ability is the limit - he could use his feet on you while you use a toy on him while you are both swinging in a hammock, and so on, smile

Have fun!

GingerBlondecat Fri 14-Dec-12 13:27:53

Large penis forum

janelikesjam Fri 14-Dec-12 15:26:13

It might be wise re. symptoms to get yourself checked that its only cystitis just to be sure.

CajaDeLaMemoria Fri 14-Dec-12 15:31:37

The idea of feet being sexy has made me boak.

Bleeeuurrrggghhhh. I have the polar opposite of a foot fetish.

Justesayin Fri 14-Dec-12 15:55:55

If you are reacting to my post CajaDeLaMemoria - I'm not talking about fetish here, but as an example of one body part among others that you could make use of. If you're bored with getting handjobs, let your DP use his big toe grin If it doesn't sound fun, do something else.
There are so many things you could do together.

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