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Are you happy?

(57 Posts)
MySonIsMyWorld Thu 13-Dec-12 21:02:12

Im just curious to know are you happy in your realtionship? How long have you been together? Do you still cuddle and tell each other you love each other?

Its dawned on me a few days ago, I'm not happy in my realtionship in fact ive not been happy for a while but been in mega denial - we have been together nearlly three years and i'm miserable in fact i love it when dp is at work (thats bad isnt it) we dont touch or tell each other we love each other anymore and after the stuff he has put me through i never will love him again i dont think.....

forgetmenots Thu 13-Dec-12 22:10:32

Yes, definitely - new year new start, OP. Your son won't know it yet but he will thank you for this in the long run.

MySonIsMyWorld Thu 13-Dec-12 22:11:15

yeah i mean bump into her - did it last week and it left me wrecked again.

DP is ok with DS - doesnt do much unless i nag him but DS adores him and i breaks my heart

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Thu 13-Dec-12 22:14:01

children will adore anyone

it's wired into them

break free and find someone that adores you and your son

weegiemum Thu 13-Dec-12 22:19:17

Yes I'm happy.

Met dh when I was 18, him 19.

Got together when I was 19, him 20

Got married and moved in at same time, both 24.

Had dc when I was 29, 31, 32.

He's now 42, I'm 42 this week. We've been married just 3 weeks short of 18 years. We are still stupidly in love! He's had huge work stress, and depression. I've had many health problems and am permanently disabled. But we are more in love than weever were. I'm not sure that I believe everyone has a Soul Mate, but if they do, I've certainly met mine!

MySonIsMyWorld Thu 13-Dec-12 22:19:40

i'm so scared - i know i have to do it but i just need to find the inner strenght. What is the secret to a happy realtionship anyway??!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Thu 13-Dec-12 22:22:37

the biggest thing is not to be with a twat

after that, it gets a lot easier

now love, you can sort that

JugglingMeYorkiesAndNutRoast Thu 13-Dec-12 22:24:44

Pick one of the right people as a start MySon ? If you haven't done that first time at your young age then there's every possibility you could do so next time ... in 2013 maybe ?

ArtVandelay Thu 13-Dec-12 22:24:47

I think its maintaining your own interests and having a thick skin. But also having some stuff that cannot be compromised. And wine smile I don't know, I've had a really tough year. I still feel like my DH is on my side though, and I think that's the key thing for me.

Micha54178 Thu 13-Dec-12 22:27:30

Anyfucker, couldn't said it better "not a twat"
You know your with the right person when making you happy is more important to them than to you. I hope 2013 is a great year for you and your son!

MySonIsMyWorld Thu 13-Dec-12 22:28:32

Haha i will be avoiding twats for the rest of my life ive had enough of shit to last me a life time! 2013...roll on :D

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Thu 13-Dec-12 22:29:01

on the day you accept that it is better to be on your own, than partnered with a twat, your life will start to get better

even if it gets worse for a while first

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Thu 13-Dec-12 22:29:47

I was with a twat when I was about your age

tallwivglasses Thu 13-Dec-12 22:31:52

Succingtly put, AF.

tallwivglasses Thu 13-Dec-12 22:32:21

<or something like that grin

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Thu 13-Dec-12 22:32:55

sucksteethly put grin

MySonIsMyWorld Thu 13-Dec-12 22:37:04

Haha - well maybe it will be a happy new year after all.....

ninah Thu 13-Dec-12 22:39:19

I am very happy
I am single, though

Faffalina Thu 13-Dec-12 22:53:31

blackcurrants i love this: I get home before him and feel a little butterfly-in-my-tummy of excitement when I hear his key in the door. He makes me smile.

blackcurrants Thu 13-Dec-12 23:04:47

I was with a twat when I was 20, too - maybe there's some secret rule? Either way, you dont need to STAY with a twat, OP. You deserve to be happy.

Morloth Thu 13-Dec-12 23:18:45

I am happy. We have been married for 14 years.

Still snuggle to watch TV, still hold hands when out, I will sit on his knee if there is only one seat etc.

Him coming home of an evening is something that is looked forward to.

You only get one go at life, don't waste it on someone who makes you unhappy.

One go.

You are 20! So much fun and laughter and life to be had. Do you really want to waste your life on someone who drags you down?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Thu 13-Dec-12 23:21:50

OP, when you get to my age, you will be on a thread like this advising young women not to stay with twats

believe me

quirk Thu 13-Dec-12 23:55:07

Ha ha AF! Op, please don't stay with the twat. At 23 I wasn't happy, but like you, had a baby and WANTED everything to be ok and to be a family with the father of my child (who was pretty awful to me, though not unfaithful). Wish I'd left him then. You are so young. Don't stay for the house. Don't hope he will change. Build a support network and get out. Good luck and have a happy new year xx

Offred Fri 14-Dec-12 00:25:36

Would have said yes this time last week. Just now not so sure, ashamed to admit.

worsestershiresauce Fri 14-Dec-12 08:37:17

Yes I'm happy, finally, but it has taken a long time.

Been with DH 14 years, married for 12, pregnant with dc1. Our marriage has been far from perfect, and has been marred by ill health, money worries, and an affair (his), but we have made it through and have become kinder and more loving for it.

You could say life has knocked the corners off us. We call each other regularly during the day, cuddle every day, when we argue (we are human) we always hug and make up before bed, apologise and mean it. Sometime going through hard times can make love stronger, as I certainly love and understand my DH better now than I did earlier in our life together. I think he'd say the same about me.

I guess what I'm saying is marriages can weather storms, but only if they are based on really rock solid foundations.

wornoutbutstillwonderful Fri 14-Dec-12 20:41:58

I would agree worsestshiresauce we have been through a lot together -affair, 2 job losses, money issues but after nearly 19 years together 10 of which married I think we have finally got to a happy place.
Alot of our problems have stemmed from wanting different things at different times but this last couple of years we have been on pretty much the same page. All this said and with all we have been through I can honestly say we have always been each others best friend and always the one each other turns to when the chips are down.
Would I change anything? actually no nothing because we now have a deeper understanding and respect for each other and our marriage.

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