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What is love? Guardian piece and MNers thoughts

(3 Posts)
Lottapianos Thu 13-Dec-12 13:25:36

I read this article today and found it very unenlightening. Full of drivel in fact.

I really struggle with the word 'love' - it's so overused and used by some people to excuse all sorts of dreadful behaviour. My parents were and are fond of using it with us children but there was lots of emotional abuse in my childhood and their love was, I can now see, totally conditional. So I don't really have an answer to the question 'what is love?'. I tell my DP and my best friend that I love them, and that feels like the truth because they are wonderful and extremely important to me, but I cant' really be more specific about what I feel.

How do other people feel about love - particularly love of other adults, rather than love for your children?

TurnipCake Thu 13-Dec-12 13:30:33

For me, love is an action, not a feeling. I've been with many who say they loved me but I couldn't quite buy it in the face of lies, cheating etc. Erich Fromm in The Art of Loving says it better than I can.

“Love isn't something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice.”

Lottapianos Thu 13-Dec-12 13:45:19

'For me, love is an action, not a feeling'

That's very true TurnipCake - words are cheap and meaningless if not backed up with loving actions.

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