I have finally admitted to myself that all is not well in my marriage and I need to get out :(
I am absolutely terrified! I have a 7yo dd who is an absolute angel, and it is tearing me apart that I am about to turn her world upside down.
I have been married 10 years and with h for 13.
He has always been possessive and jealous of any friends I have had over the years. When I go out I always get the, who with, where you going, what time will you be back etc. It got too tough to keep answering the same questions, so slowly I have lost any friends I have had.
Things came to ahead last week when the woman at a wildlife centre I volunteer at called to ask if I would like to go to a Christmas do. My dd answered the phone to start with. I accepted the invite assuming it wouldn't be a problem.
Later when h got home, I told him about the party. His response was "who is he and why are you going?" My dd then said "no daddy, mummy is telling the truth is was the lady from the animal place". His reply was "whatever". I didn't go in the end because I felt guilty over going.
Now I could be reading too much into it, but having your own 7yo dd stick up for you must mean not all is well?
I have never given him a reason not to trust me.
Granted I have been out more than usual. A colleague is moving on so we had a dinner for her 2 weeks back. Last night we all met up again, but I had to jump through hoops to "get permission" to go out. Or at least that is how it felt.
We had the works do last Friday, and thanks to a couple of drinks, he started to put me down in front of the boss. It was nothing major, but enough to be a little embarrassing. My boss is a nice guy and i could tell he was feeling a little uncomfortable with his behaviour. When we are out at functions like that, I admit I cower into myself and my total lack of confidence stops me from telling him to button it.
I am so fed up over feeling scared of my own shadow, jumping through hoops and bending over backwards to make him happy.
I want out now. With Christmas coming up, I don't want to ruin things, but I really can't do this anymore. I will wind up in the funny farm before too long!
Sorry for the whinge, but am I doing the right thing? And where on earth do I start? I have a very supportive friend who is helping me out, but I need some unbiased advice. Thank you x
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calling it a day :(
14 replies
Dillie · 13/12/2012 13:02
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