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hubby snores

(36 Posts)
LylaLils Wed 12-Dec-12 23:55:41

My other half snores. Loudly. We haven't been able to sleep in the same room for many years. We had a baby boy 13 weeks ago. The cot is in my room, naturally, but its getting to the point where it would be beneficial to both myself and my son if we slept in separate rooms. There's no way I can sleep next to my hubby, what with him snoring like a walrus giving birth.

Has anyone here tried, or knows anyone who has tried, getting one of those operations to stop the snoring? We went to a consultation once and the woman said the snoring was caused by an enlarged flap in his nose which could be soldered off. It's expensive but I think worth a go. Hubby seems to think it won't work.

Please let me know if anyone has ever tried this method. Or any other suggestions. We've tried nose strips, nasal sprays, I've worn ear plugs. Nothing works.

Nb. Also posted on the sleep forum.

ObscuredByClouds Thu 13-Dec-12 00:09:23

Have you been to the doctors? It may be sleep apnoea so worth exploring. Hope you get something sorted.

LylaLils Thu 13-Dec-12 00:17:35

He says he has sleep apnoea actually. Although I'm not sure anymore its been so long since we've slept together. If he does have it, what would be the implications on his snoring? thanks for posting by the way.

rubycon Thu 13-Dec-12 09:37:54

if it is apnea he needs to get referred to a sleep clinic, its very bad for his health to let it continue.

There are some virtually silent machines now and I can't see why you'd not be able to share a room again.

LylaLils Thu 13-Dec-12 10:33:56

What is virtually silent machine???

ineedabodytransplant Thu 13-Dec-12 13:27:58

Op, is he overweight at all?

I know when I put on a 'bit' of weight a couple of years ago I started snoringblush. Losing the weight again seemed to help.

TwoGrey Thu 13-Dec-12 13:31:31

My DH went to the Doctor about his snoring after many years of me complaining and whilst it was taken seriously he was told that until he lost some weight there wasn't much to be done. He didn't snore when I met him and he was slimmer.

LylaLils Thu 13-Dec-12 13:49:01

Yep he's a bit be honest I don't think he takes the issue seriously. He thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing. He's reluctant to do anything about it and every time I mention it, we argue. I'm at a loss. I could see us eventually splitting over it...which I've told him...again, he doesn't take me seriously. God he drives me insane sometimes

HansieMom Fri 14-Dec-12 01:11:57

My DH snores and he is a beanpole.

JamNan Fri 14-Dec-12 08:12:42

Get him to his GP and ask for a referral to a Sleep Clinic. Sleep apnoea is dangerous and can affect his health (and yours through lack of sleep).

CPAP machine

Sleep apnoea

JamNan Fri 14-Dec-12 08:13:28

Forgot to add my sympathies - it's hell on earth.

rubycon Fri 14-Dec-12 08:26:51

as soon as I get my new silent one I'll let you know - at the moment two health authorities are arguing about who should pay for mine - so I still have my old one!

LentilLasange Fri 14-Dec-12 09:07:51

Lyla - you must be me too! We are currently having a huge row about the issue, like you my DH thinks its no big deal, has made no effort to lose weight (has been to a sleep clinic, confirmed it is not a sleep apena, just something unfortunate with the way his palate lies when sleeping) years ago, when he was slimmer he didn't snore so his is certainly weight associated. He takes the piss out if me, things like telling me to ask xyz if their partner snores and 'I bet they are understanding, most women don't mind etc etc' We have no intimacy in our relationship, the snoring repulsed me, I came home last night and the noise was unbelievable. We are in our 40's and I can't see a future living like this. sad

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 14-Dec-12 11:23:29

Can those of you whose DHs don't believe them record the noise on smart phone or something?

arequipa Fri 14-Dec-12 22:18:39

Just wake him up with a jab and tell him to stop it every time he snores..... He'll soon start taking it seriously. Worked for me.

Faffalina Fri 14-Dec-12 23:02:56

I recorded my partner on my phone and he couldn't believe the racket he made.

It's awful though, and impossible to share a bed. He wouldn't find it "no big deal" if his sleep got disturbed. EVERY night.

ClottedCreamYum Sat 15-Dec-12 08:45:05

LylaLils- this is hell isn't it. My STBXH had the operation you mentioned. He was very slightly overweight, but had always snored to some extent (as does his 85 year old DM, probably worse than him). He was 43 when he had the op, but it didn't have the desired effect, it may have made a very slight difference, but nothing significant enough to keep us in the same bed every night. If he had lost the extra stone and never drunk alchohol again, that would probably have had more effect. Prior to the op, he tried all the other solutions, including the CPAP machine (which didn't allow him to sleep- at least he got a taste of his own medicine!), none worked.
Sorry for the lack of encouraging news. I still, a year after his departure, sleep with ear plugs every night, as it appears to have become habitual!

LylaLils Fri 21-Dec-12 05:39:22

Thanks for all your replies its reassuring to know there are others in the same boat and its not just my other half that's a selfish so and so. Update...tonight I'm sleeping on The sofa. I have a nasty cough and I can't stay in same room as baby as I keep waking him. So I've been up and down the stairs all night (5 times in total...its been a bad night), while I can hear him snoring loudly in the room next door to the nursery. It's angried up my blood I can tell you.

When he asked me what I wanted for crimbo the other day I said for him to try and get his snoring sorted. If laughed it off. At this point I would usually argue but I had little man with me.

Clottedcream...I was habitual with my earplugs too...sleeping with them even when sleeping separately from hub. Can't do that with a baby though more's the pity!

I don't want to get into an argument about this again as we are going around in circles and I'm sick of fighting. But my boy will have to have his own room sooner or later. I can't keep sleeping downstairs on sofa.

The other thing about the situation is that hubby can't sleep without the telly on. I can't sleep with telly on. He goes to sleep really late and I like early nights. He's really loud at night, slamming drawers, switching on lights etc...he has no concept of how this effects others i.e me...although I have told him and screamed at him countless times. He still only makes out that I'm over reacting.

I can't win here, can I?

LylaLils Fri 21-Dec-12 05:40:54

Oh and yes, I've recorded him. But its pointless. He already knows how loud he is. His friends and family are always commenting about it. Again, he thinks its funny. Argh!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 21-Dec-12 05:43:39

Lyla your husband is disturbing your sleep on purpose. He doesn't care about your feelings enough not to do that and finds it funny. That sounds awful. Would he treat his brother/best mate like that?

LylaLils Fri 21-Dec-12 05:47:14

Another thing...lentillasagna...yes the noise is repulsive. It sickens me and makes my blood boil. It's as if all of his selfishness and flippancy have amalgamated into this offensive, arrogant noise he emits from his face as he sleeps soundly.

LylaLils Fri 21-Dec-12 05:48:45

Snatch...he's an only child!!! And yep, he has treated his best friends like this. He's lived with mates over the years and couldn't give a toss who he's disturbing.

LylaLils Fri 21-Dec-12 05:51:02

He's very much of the mind that its not his fault and there's nothing he can do about it. Then he tries to laugh it off. God I'm getting really angry just typing this all out and actually looking at the problem head on.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 21-Dec-12 06:01:17

But how can he excuse the TV thing that way?!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 21-Dec-12 06:02:10

I listen to the radio to help me sleep - I use earphones so DH isn't disturbed.

Has he always watched TV like this?

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