A lovely friend of mine has just had her husband announce he is leaving her & their 2 young children. Right after this announcement, infront of the children, she answered the phone to her MIL, explained why she was upset, and the MIL told her she thought he had been having an affair. MIL and the DH work together and apparently it is common knowledge that he is seeing a colleague and has been for 4yrs.
He has threatened to leave her many times before and she has suspected for some time that he is cheating (stays out all night twice a week) but then he has been nice again and they've just carried on. She has always said that she will never leave, that her mother left and she would not do that to her children.
This time is different as the MIL has dropped the bombshell. My friend asked her DH about the affair and he denied it. She asked him to leave asap and to keep supporting her financially until she finds a job, gets on her feet. He said ok.
She is understandably upset but seemingly devoid of anger or bitterness. I asked her how she felt about the thought he was seeing someone else and she said she could not be bothered "even going there", that she just wants to get on with her life and take the opportunity to start again.
He seems to be slightly put out by her sensible response and is now talking reconciliation. She has told him this can only happen if trust is rebuilt and he has agreed but is still denying the affair.
She does not have a wide circle of friends and does not find it easy to confide in others. SHe has led a relatively sheltered life leaving her parents' home to move in with her DH, and she devotes herself to family life.
Can someone tell me the script of the cheating husband? I have no experience of this. I gather that they lie and deny. What should she expect next?
It is great to see her gaining confidence to the point of seeing a future without this man who treats her so badly. How can I best help her?
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Relationships
Men & affairs - what is the script?
imaginethat · 12/12/2012 09:14
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