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Is this is cheating on me?

(170 Posts)
amy175 Tue 11-Dec-12 22:32:38

my oh has been very secretive for months. Texting all times of day and late and night. facebooking intill gone midnight. everytime i go near he either closes the browser or turns his phone over so i can't see. on the way home from his works do on friday night he stopped the car at 11.30 to text while he thought i was asleep. Then Sunday morning i see him hiding his phone in the bed under the covers texting. I went mad and got very upset. i demanded he told me who he was texting. he denied texting and when i demanded to see the texts he said it wasn't any of my business. he went to the loo and deleted all the texts. i got very upset and demanded he tell me who he was texting. eventually he told me it was two women he was "he was helping and supporting them through hard situations and that they didn't want him to tell me what so he couldn't show me". I think this is cheating, even if it is just emontinally. he says i shouldn't be upset and he doesn't see he has done anything wrong. AIBU?

amy175 Mon 17-Dec-12 22:46:32

and now i'm turning into an alcoholic, i'm on my second glass now.

deste Mon 17-Dec-12 22:46:38

I think your last post would be the deal breaker for me without the rest of it. He is not showing you any respect whatsoever.

amy175 Mon 17-Dec-12 22:48:30

he is refusing to go. i can't leave as our house is done for our disabled daughter

amy175 Mon 17-Dec-12 22:49:30

i dont think he wants to tell his family or friends

amy175 Mon 17-Dec-12 22:55:19

i think he has found this thread

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Mon 17-Dec-12 22:57:37

Are you safe, amy. Can you call someone? I'm really worried about you.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Mon 17-Dec-12 23:00:43

I was going to say, before the bit about him not leaving sad that his refusal to acknowledge that he has done anything wrong and blaming you has to be the last straw. At least if he was begging forgiveness, blaming himself, saying he was going to change, suggesting counselling, you would have something to work with.

He just want you to deal with the DC, do the housework and shut the fuck up. He just wants to do whatever he wants. Please get yourself some advice.

HildaOgden Mon 17-Dec-12 23:01:29

Amy,are you ok?Phone someone in RL straight away...a friend or family member...and let them know NOW what's happening.

Doha Mon 17-Dec-12 23:02:55

He is a twat--why do you think he has found this thread...

But anyway

hello Mr any175. I hope you have had time to read and digest all that has been written here. you truely are an apology for a man. You are a liar and a cheat who does not deserve to have a wife and family.
I hope Amy gathers some support and gets the strength to throw you out as soon as possible. She might want to get herself an STI check cause l am sure you have not been faithful to her.
She deseves someone so much better than you--you deserve nowt

amy175 Mon 17-Dec-12 23:16:34

i'm ok he wont hurt me, im not scared of him, that was a one off

amy175 Mon 17-Dec-12 23:17:52

i thought he had as he used a phrase i had written on here, but he hasnt said anything else

amy175 Mon 17-Dec-12 23:19:04

hes being apolgetic now taking about getting me something nice for xmas

amy175 Mon 17-Dec-12 23:24:36

maybe evven wrap it himself this time!

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Mon 17-Dec-12 23:55:15

Don't scare us like that, amy.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Tue 18-Dec-12 00:01:43

amy please don't stay with a man like this

he hates you, he doesn't love you

you are just a mug for him to come back to when his approaches to OW fall on deaf ears

that woman you don't even know saw through him, you can too, and even though you know what he is like you would still let him stay ??

see a solicitor love, if your house has been adapted for your dd's disability, he can be made to leave if your relationship has broken down

it will be hard, but it is doable

tbh though love, if all you can manage to do is get pissed and carry on listening to his will still be this unhappy and broken this time next year sad

amy175 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:59:23

That's what I'm afraid of still feeling this crap for the next fifty years.

amy175 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:00:06

I want to be happy, for me and my kids.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Tue 18-Dec-12 14:23:29

Then you know what you must start working towards, love

Get some professional advice and take it from there x

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Tue 18-Dec-12 14:53:17

amy there's a thread in Chat right now, here, that might be worth a read. It's light and fun but lots of us have posted about how we feel after having left the bastard. Have a read and think about what you want to feel like in one, two, five years.

gimmecakeandcandy Wed 26-Dec-12 20:30:21

Update op?

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