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Think my boyfriend is having an affair

(5 Posts)
Littlewonderful Tue 11-Dec-12 09:46:26

I am a longtime lurker but have never had a reason to post before now. i have been with my boyfriend for two years and we were planning to get married next year. But I don't think that will happen now because I think there is someone else.

About two months ago he started a new job and has been doing a lot of overtime so he normally gets in after I have gone to bed. He has been less affectionate but I put that down to the stress of the job. Also we have hardly had sex lately.

A couple of weeks ago he got a new phone and he never lets it out of his sight. Alwady in his pocket when he leaves the room and he has started to lock it which he never did before. When i asked he said it was because it is a work phone but he works in a bar so I don't see how that would work. He is always talking about people at work but clams up whenever I ask any questions particular questions about.

I think that he must be having an affair, but I might be overreacting. I just need some advice.

dequoisagitil Tue 11-Dec-12 10:48:56

It sounds likely, given what you say. sad

HettySunshine Tue 11-Dec-12 11:37:44

I'm sorry Littlewonderful it really doesn't sound good.

If I were you I would be trying to get a look at that phone. It doesn't sound like that's going to be easy though.

Do you think you are feeling strong enough to talk to him about it? You don't need to be confrontational - just lay out what you have said above and ask him if there is anything he wants to tell you.


izzyizin Tue 11-Dec-12 11:39:40

He's working in a bar? Can you/a friend go drink there to suss out whether he's got something going with another employee or a customer?

If you're planning to get married next year, have you booked the venue and the honeymoon/organised catering/bought the dress?

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange Tue 11-Dec-12 21:15:40

Sorry but I think he's definitely having an affair already or embarking on one.

Your bf is showing nearly all the signs.

Is he taking more care over his appearance, having showers all the time, going to the gym as well? Even if he isn't, his behaviour re the phone is enough.

I wouldn't waste time trying to find out myself... if you don't have children to consider I would just get rid as there is only more heartache ahead for you. Sorry sad

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