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I freeze up, cry & feel sick when attempting sex.

(27 Posts)
christmaswish Sat 08-Dec-12 16:38:09

I do (or did) love sex, but I'm becoming averse to it suddenly. Last night was the worst. We had a nice bath, but I was uncomfortable there, so we went to bed. I felt sick when DH started touching me, and just brushed him aside. In the end I asked him to leave me alone. I just cried.

There are issues (I've talked about them before under my regular name), but we had (sort of) resolved them, or so I thought.

Part of the problem is that I need to feel desired, special. Yet, DH rejects my advances 3/4s of the time. At the moment we are averaging less than once a week. I let my guard down with sex, it makes me feel vulnerable. It's fine when it's regular, as you bond, oxytocin helping with this, but when you know that he's going to reject you for at least another week - well it makes me clam up. I feel like a masturbatory receptacle, I scratch an itch, it's not intimacy to 'bond' us.

I think things got worse when I discovered he had signed up to a site, that a lot of other MNetters DHs had. He did show me his account after lots of threats from me, and it appears that he hadn't contacted any of the women. So his story of registering to see one of the 'girls' private pics may be genuine.

I still can't get over it though. I still feel sick, that he became obsessed with a teenage girl, then joined & possibly paid, to see her nude. The fact that he's a "red-blooded man" doesn't mean jackshit to me. He betrayed me.

What is worse - he emailed the site to his adult son (who is older than the girl), so he could look at her too. So they shared a little 'joke', looking at some pros photos. His son has been here several times since then - no wonder he doesn't respect me or our marriage. His son often makes jokes about which girls on TV his dad fancies, or wants to shag... I've never understood why DH hasn't pulled him up on it, now I know. He will be coming over the festive period, and I can't face being pleasant, not knowing that he & his dad were sharing in this betrayal.

The other thing that has happened recently is that DH told me he'd been invited to a xmas meal after work this week, so would be late. Fine, till DD1 pulled his coat down, and the invitation slip fell out - the date is the following week. I didn't tell him I knew this, but re-checked the date, and he is adamant it is this week. I'm also suspicious that he has suddenly got a verruca, never taking his shoes off anywhere but home, and has got a skin-tag thing on his willy.

SorryMyLollipop Thu 21-Feb-13 14:47:06

AuntyFem why don't you start a thread of your own, love?

You do sound very cross. Did a nasty female hack your computer and expose your sordid side? She should have stuck to letting you have your cake and eat it, shouldn't she? And, let me guess she turned out to have too much self respect be a man-hater and dumped you?

How very horrid for you.

Life's a bastard innit?

SorryMyLollipop Thu 21-Feb-13 14:48:15

Aw, bye AuntyFem, hope you sort out your ishoos soon xx

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