Last night oh was shouting at me and really angry (trivial reason) and I found it really hard not to laugh - not because I found it funny - almost like laughing as a child when told off by teachers - is this normal? (Obviously it didn't go down well with oh)
Yes, some people do this - its a nervous laugh, doesn't mean you find it funny. Tends to really enrage the shouter though. My uncle used to do this at school when threatened with the cane (long time ago). He has actually had a ruler broken over his hand by an enraged teacher & still couldn't stop laughing.
I have experienced this in stressful situations. It's your brain's way of trying to deal with the matter and to release tension. It is a side issue though I think, why was you oh shouting at you over something trivial?
I laughed like a drain once when DH was very annoyed because I had complained about his lack of emotional intelligence and he replied furiously that he had been " tested for it and scored 9&%, so he wasn't having that".
He often shouts, is quite controlling, and has got a lot worse recently. I've spent the last couple of years trying to work out whether he is emotionally and verbally abusive and I think that he is. This is the first time that I have laughed accidentally though.
He 'wasn't impressed' when you laughed as he was verbally abusing you? That sounds horrible..the dynamic just sounds like that of a nasty conrolling parent or something...reading this i had a nasty vision of him calling you names and then saying 'wipe that smile off your face young lady' type scenario. This actually made me feel a bit sick to read, I'm sorry this is happening to you.
And yea I have been known to laugh at all sorts of weird things, it's stress related. I laughed when someone close to me tried to kill themselves and I've laughed in arguments before as well, for different reasons.
For me actually with a man who was really abusive the laughing came later, to begin with I got angry and shouted back, then I'd just kind of cringe and stay silent and finally I began laughing...some of it was nerves (as it was esculating) some of it was me beginning to see what a piece of pathetic shit he really was, sitting there screaming like his veins were going to pop over some tiny reason. Made me see him as a pathetic little toddler having a tantrum. I used that feeling to help me LTB
I'd say it's because you feel you can't believe you're in that situation. I used to feel detached from the situation when my x used to call me awful names. I used to almost float above and think 'does he think he is the reasonable one here?' and 'does he think this is a normal row?'. It was a defence mechanism, that ability to detach from the hell on one level. But make no mistake you're only detaching from it on one level, intellectually perhaps. You're still there absorbing it in real life. It will be affecting your self-esteem and self-confidence.
ps I only say that because you seem to be minimising it. You have a couople of defenece mechanisms in place there. Denial and a detachment, but .......... the point I'm making; you're still actually in the situation of having a partner verbally abuse you. What are you going to actually do about that? I don't mean to be harsh.
Sunday's girl, ABba's song 'laugh or cry' so perfectly encapsulates that feeling that it is one of the few songs that gave me a shudder and made me cry. I wouldn't normally identify with a song so strongly that it made me shiver.