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Residual Parenting Commitments, The Last Turkey In The Shop, Boiled Bunnies, Men With Fish and Stolen Condoms. Dating Thread XXXI.

(1000 Posts)
FlorentinePogen Tue 04-Dec-12 19:49:03

Get on with it,

Movingforward123 Sun 09-Dec-12 23:37:41

48 what happened to mr fuck? Was it only once?

ike1 Sun 09-Dec-12 23:38:13

Yeah I suppose what I am saying is that alot of these dates are not necessarily disasters cos nothing further happens they are just mildly pleasant encounters with strangers and maybe occasionally something chemical will happen..

48howdidthathappen Sun 09-Dec-12 23:41:59

moving once! I have broke him grin

4 nights I think. Good Coffee. That was all.

48howdidthathappen Sun 09-Dec-12 23:44:37


ike I get you smile

ike1 Sun 09-Dec-12 23:46:00

48 exactly! good coffee or a mildly amusing convo...whats not to like? Lol

BillMasen Sun 09-Dec-12 23:49:14

moving I know POF has this reputation for being full of rubbish but being on here and seeing all these intelligent, independant and....well.... Normal women who were on there it reassured me that it wouldn't be a waste. I'm sure the reverse applies, after all I'm on there and I like to think of myself as both normal and nice smile

ike1 Sun 09-Dec-12 23:51:58

Oh absolutely Bill ...

48howdidthathappen Sun 09-Dec-12 23:57:00

bill Got any normal and nice mates? grin

ike1 Sun 09-Dec-12 23:59:11

Yeah but they will have to be normal, nice AND rock my particular boat lol

48howdidthathappen Mon 10-Dec-12 00:01:40

Nail on head grin

ike1 Mon 10-Dec-12 00:03:47

Thats what makes this OD malarky so tough!!!

BillMasen Mon 10-Dec-12 00:08:37

I think I agree with what ike said. OD means that you can probably find nice and normal out there. What you can't predict is a spark or not. If there isn't one, well it's been a nice date with a nice person and you wish them all the best, genuinely.

Look for the nice and normal, the spark will take care of itself

Walkacrossthesand Mon 10-Dec-12 07:01:47

Variations on the 'vanishing guy' theme... Guy 1 suggests we exchange email addresses, sends a mail to say 'let me know when you get this', I mail back 'got it!' then silence. That was 3 days ago so he's gone. Guy 2 - a lot of text banter for a couple of days (we'e both busy with other stuff) and the conversation abruptly stops. <shrugs shoulders> how odd! Who are these people?!

Movingforward123 Mon 10-Dec-12 07:30:58

bill I've been on Pof before and had a few dates, which were ok, but not for me. I also had messages from a lot of weird and rude people. Might give it another try thought confused

Movingforward123 Mon 10-Dec-12 07:32:33

walk I'm glad I'm not the only one with vanishing guys grin problem is the guy who vanished on me isn't a online guy hes my sisters next door neighbour!

48howdidthathappen Mon 10-Dec-12 07:41:25

Walk who knows? I never give any of them head space. Mr Fuck was a few days in my life. Small Stuff.

SkaffenAmtiskaw Mon 10-Dec-12 08:36:57

Poppy: I've been ODing for years on and off, I usually try for a few months, then give up for a few more months, then try again, etc. I've used a different site every time, this time it's OKC, and I have to say that so far it's the site where I've had the greatest number of promising contacts.

48: new date will have to be known as Mr HotYoga, as he practises, well, hot yoga. He's emailed me to suggest a lunch date next week rather than wait until after new year.

An interesting thought: dating sites put us in the position of assessing potential partners as though they were commodities, like digital cameras. In fact, we really assess partners as what he calls 'experience goods' - like wine or chocolate.

You can measure the weight of a bottle of wine, you can record the height of the bottle; you can measure the wine's alcohol content, its colour, the number and length of the 'legs' that run down the side of the glass; you can write down the date it was produced, the grape variety and the region it was made in. That's all very interesting for a few people - but it tells you nothing you really want to know. Wine is something to experience. You want to smell and taste the wine - and all those other, measurable, factors are actually only useful to you as ways to prepare you for that experience.

People are much more like wine (or chocolate) than digital cameras. When you taste a glass of wine, you could describe it, but it wouldn't really be a very useful description. But you know if you like it or if you don’t.

Santasapunkatheart Mon 10-Dec-12 08:45:29

Maybe they should come with reviews?

But yes, I know exactly what you mean. My last partner would not have worked for me on paper...but there was something indefinable....

It is a strange world to me - I still haven't done OD...

SkaffenAmtiskaw Mon 10-Dec-12 09:38:45

Oops, I forgot to say, this (about people being like wine) is not from me, I C&P it!

OhWesternWind Mon 10-Dec-12 09:42:03

Ike I think your attitude is spot on. I met around eight men OD (Match and PoF with one rather odd one off GSM) and with one exception (which was due to boredom rather than anything pervy) had a pleasant evening or two out with each one of them. I didn't really mind if things didn't progress as it was just good to get out and have a bit of adult company for a change. So I didn't really see it as time wasted as I got something out of it - not exactly what I was looking for, but I'm hopeful that I've got there in the end. Only time will tell though . . .

BantaBaby Mon 10-Dec-12 12:05:24

Skaffen - good point on the wine thing, but I've generally found that sniffing my date, swirling her around and commenting on her legs doesn't go down too well. Also saying what a good nose she has and asking what year she was made.

48howdidthathappen Mon 10-Dec-12 12:14:08

I am about to put a cat flap in. I have a jigsaw. How hard can it be?

OhWesternWind Mon 10-Dec-12 12:27:29

Ike - good luck!!

KirstyWirsty Mon 10-Dec-12 13:36:49

48 Hope you got on ok????

OhWesternWind Mon 10-Dec-12 13:43:19

Doh I meant 48 not Ike. It's that sort of a day/week/month . . .

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