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Convinced IL's and DP's friends hate me

(6 Posts)
LesleyPumpshaft Mon 03-Dec-12 15:59:44

I would really appreciate some advice. I am convinced IL's and DP's friends really dislike me.

I have a diagnosis of bipolar, so I'm not the most easy going of people and I'm probably hard work. I've also had loads of health problems too. This is bound to stress DP out and I think he must talk to his family about it.

Does anyone else feel as though their DP's family and friends disapprove of them?

To make matters worse, DP's XP was his sisters' best friend and she's known his family since she was a little girl. She is a highly successful business woman, massive 5 bed house, designer clothes, very glamorous and beautiful - she has it all. They really must wonder wtf he sees in me. sad

He hasn't made plans for us to see any of them this Xmas and I'm so worried this is because of me. If that's true and the tables were turned I'd feel really resentful of DP. I have asked him and he says it's not true. However, I can tell he's lying, and that's not me being mentally unstable, because I'm generally very functional with my bipolar apart from the occasional blip when I decide to stop taking my meds.

I suppose I just want DP to be happy and his family to like me. Unfortunately, his friends and family did see me during the episode that led to my diagnosis, so they must think hmm of me. This is really unfortunate tbh, because I was very unwell, behaved very strangely and I really didn't do myself any favours.

What should I do?

HotDAMNlifeisgood Mon 03-Dec-12 16:09:53

What evidence do you have, if any, that they dislike you?

Who, other than you, is comparing you unfavourably to his ex?

LesleyPumpshaft Mon 03-Dec-12 16:13:12

Well, I'm most worried about the fact that they saw me just before I was diagnosed with bipolar and I was very unwell at the time. They have been different with me since then.

I probably compare myself unfavourably to his ex.

HotDAMNlifeisgood Mon 03-Dec-12 16:17:17

In what way have they been "different"?

purrpurr Mon 03-Dec-12 16:33:54

Unless you have firm evidence, you need to nip this chain of thought in the bud now. It will (if not already) become a form of self-torture. I know. I'm living it. And apparently my ILs 'love' me. And don't say snide things about me when I'm not there. Apparently.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Mon 03-Dec-12 16:47:06

If it's true, then I don't think there is really anything you can do other than build a happy life for you and your partner.

I see similar with my daughter and her boyfriend. She has AS and it's blatantly obvious to anyone that his parents hate her. She's done nothing wrong, she just doesn't fit into their superficial view of people. Ultimately it's his parent's loss, they are the ones missing out on their son's future.

So as I tell her, ignore them and get on with you life with your partner and spend time with the people who do love you and do care about you.

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