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is sex that important...

(31 Posts)
gobbymare Mon 03-Dec-12 12:24:48

Hi everyone,

I am feeling like i want to end my 2 year relationship due to the fact we have very missmatched sex drives and its really impacting on how i feel about the man i really thought i would spend the rest of my life with.

I am the one who is wanting sex on a regular basis well i say regular, that being at least once a fortnight, but its just not happening its been 6 weeks again and i feel resentment towards him i am snapping at him for it, we have talked many times about how much a sexual relationship is important to me, and he says he understands and i think finally he understands then we wait this long again.

I tried talking to him about it, tried turning him on and making all the moves, but stopped doing that since he has fallen asleep sometimes, its denting my confidence.

We were watching a tv program last week about sleep disorders and i think he has sleep apnea which is obviously going to impact on how "frisky" he is but isnt willing to go to doctors until after our holiday in may, incase he has got it because he is scared they take his driving licence off him and i am scared to drive in america.

There is more i could say but it would end up looking like a yellow pages, but i feel like i live with my best mate, and the thought of us not being together would really be unthinkable but i find myself thinking about it quite a bit lately and i think i must be stupid to want to end a relationship where mostly its really loving and he seems to be a really good man over lack of sex ? sad

MrsMushroom Mon 03-Dec-12 19:29:39

Panicking exactly...what IS he meant to do? Perhaps if he were overweight, or drank a lot then he could address that as both can affect sex drive...

Apocalypto Mon 03-Dec-12 22:07:31

He'd be perfect for the OP if only he'd change.


Magicmayhem Mon 03-Dec-12 23:15:50

for me I like the intimacy that goes with making love, the closeness and love I feel for my partner is immence... could you find that intimacy without making love?
does he ever mastubate gobbymare?

Helltotheno Mon 03-Dec-12 23:51:29

Square peg, round hole OP if you'll excuse the pun. In answer to your question, sex is that important to some people, not to others. It's also important in some relationships and not in others. I know quite a few happy couples who have very little sex. You've asked the wrong question really. It doesn't matter how many have come on here saying how important sex is to them, if it's important to you and not to your DP, then you're incompatible sexually. If he's 40, what do you really expect in the future? Realistically he's unlikely to change.

If you know about this now and are not happy about it, I'd strongly advise you against staying together.

JudyPee Tue 04-Dec-12 00:38:44

MrsMushroom is spot on. Is sex important? Yes of course, if its important to at least one of you. Life is short. Don't end up like I did at 40 with a DH who resented me for 'withholding' for years with no good reason :-(

Toadinthehole Tue 04-Dec-12 04:51:25

What Apocalypto said.

Or the OP can compromise.

Or alternatively the OP could ditch otherwise entirely satisfactory partner and find womanising bad-boy someone more interested in sex

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