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if relations with your family were strained, and you were given this...

(16 Posts)
redhappy Sun 02-Dec-12 10:59:20


what would you think?

This person knows I don't believe in god or jesus. From what I can find, it seems that the books says 'stop denying reality, because everything you know and think is wrong, forgiveness is the only way, you shouldnt feel anger, if you do it's because of your own made up fears'.

MushroomSoup Sun 02-Dec-12 11:04:17

I'd think WTF??!

redhappy Sun 02-Dec-12 11:07:32

Thankyou! I wish I could explain everything on here, but it's quite specific and I'm worried the people concerned will see it.

That's my reaction, but if I say anything, then I am worried they will simply refer to the message of the book.

redhappy Sun 02-Dec-12 11:24:47

I haven't actually read the book, if anyone has and would like to add their own interpretation that would be great and I'd be really open to hearing it.

OovoofWelcome Sun 02-Dec-12 11:37:06

If I was unhappy/angry about someone else's behaviour and they gave me a book that negated any response other than total forgiveness, I would feel that the giver was attempting to silence me and control my response.

How infuriating for you!

I'd thank them for the book but remind them you're an atheist, and then just proceed with however you want to approach the conflict in your family.

redhappy Sun 02-Dec-12 11:42:28

Part of me wants to ask why they sent me the book? But really I think no good would come of that, and I should just give it back and pay it no attention. I don't even want it in my house. I would happily throw it away but they might ask for it back.

dequoisagitil Sun 02-Dec-12 11:47:03

I'd put it in the Xmas fair book-stall.

MrsRebeccaDanvers Sun 02-Dec-12 12:26:37

Agree with OovoofWelcome. This is very controlling and is basically an attempt to get away with bad behaviour. Dont take the bait!

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Sun 02-Dec-12 12:47:49

I would think no way mate and when they asked me what I thought of it, I'd say well, it was very kind of you to buy it but to be honest, it was a load of bollocks. Forgive someone no matter what they've done to you? I don't THINK so. Some things are beyond forgiving.

And they can stick that in their pipe and smoke it grin

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 02-Dec-12 13:00:51

Was this given to you perchance by your MIL?.

Would put it in the charity shop or recycling asap.

helpyourself Sun 02-Dec-12 13:02:52

I read books like this, but I wouldn't send one to someone who wasn't like minded, especially if we had a strained relationship. I even agonised over sending my very db a parenting book I'd found helpful in case it seemed patronising.
However- open the book. It might just give you an insight into your relatives motivation. It might be a good book. Give it 10 minutes of your time. If its been sent to you in good faith, which I know seems unlikely, 10 minutes is nothing.

balia Sun 02-Dec-12 13:05:40

Say 'Thanks, it was really funny' and give her a book with pictures of cats being cute, or similar. Or porn.

poozlepants Sun 02-Dec-12 13:11:48

I would say "Got the book. I read it, the poor woman is obviously deluded. It has just reaffirmed my atheism." Then you can piss off whoever sent it right and it might stop a repeat.

redhappy Sun 02-Dec-12 16:42:55

attila no, my mum.

help yourself I'm really trying, but everytime I try and look at it I get really annoyed at what I'm reading.

I'm absolutely certain there is a 'message' behind this 'gift'. But if I just don't know what they're all thinking (nothing good by the look of it!). I don't really see how I could ask about it and the conversation turn out well (unless I was absolutely gushing).

I was really hoping someone who'd read it would post on here what a great book and what a positive message! I know there are always 2 sides to every story.

helpyourself Sun 02-Dec-12 17:00:06

I don't know the book, but googling tells me that Oprah and Nelson Mandela are fans, which wouldn't put me off...
I think it's the context for you though, isn't it? Is your mum critical of the way you live your life? She might be extending it as an olive branch, but it feels 'like read this and be like me'.
I mentioned upthread about sending my dBro a parenting book and agonising over whether it would seem judgy or patronising. In the end I did send it but only because a) we have no history of strife or fallouts and b) it wasn't a preachy Christian centred book.
Will your mum follow up this 'gift'? Would you be able to say, thank you, it looks interesting, but really all I really need from you is a someone to moan about the kids to/ for you to not criticise my partner/ respect we live where we do or whatever her beef is?
That way you're acknowledging she reached out (however clunkily) and redefining what you want from your relationship with her.

suburbophobe Sun 02-Dec-12 17:10:56

Marianne Williamson is amazing and really wish there were more people like her in the world!!

A lot better than all these cynical people around....<ugh>

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