billy no mates or being sensitive?

[didipickles]

i am a single parent to a toddler who moved back to place o grew up after leaving an abusive relationship. while i was away i kept in touch with my best mate from my home town and she was a great support to me. it was a huge deciding factor in moving back home as i thought how wonderful it might be to be able to live near her again. anyway, moved back on july and have seen her 4 times! she has been unemployed a lot of the time so has been free a lot and i have asked her so many times if she wants to meet up. suggested we go to hers if it is easier etc. we were in refuge til recently and now we have our own place i thoughtit would be easier to hang out . she spoke to Me a few weeks back and said sorry she was being a crap mate i said its finally we both have Bernard busy ... so i said how about we have a girly night last weekend. she said sounds great, got to Saturday i text to c if she was still up for it she saidvould we do next week as she was tired. (txt her later and she was out with her mates). we rearranged fir yesterday but lo and behold on tuesday she text saying she was already tired and wouldn't be able to meet Friday! we have been friends for over ten years, I've tried to ignore it but is she taking the mick a bit? another friend just ddint show up yesterday too! i really don't know what I've done! is it because i am aboring mum now with some issues?

[didipickles]

should say - its fine we both have been busy. haha Bernard

[catcalledginger]

I don't see any of my friends more than once a month so can't see this is taking the mick. I do, however, work full time and so do pretty much all of my friends.

I'd say back off a bit and put your energy into making a few more friends. Life will be far more interesting and you will spend less time agonising over this relationship - win win situation.

[didipickles]

thanks cat. it just seems odd as every time we arrange something she calls it off and just hasn't really seemed that enthusiastic . suppose people grow apart n stuff . i think making new friends sounds like a good plan. its hard to get close to people when you are socializing at play groups though.

[catcalledginger]

Well, maybe she isn't that enthusiastic or maybe she's just a bit flakey? Either way, it's not really what you need right now, is it?

I think it is quite hard to make good friends. So many people just seem to be acquaintances. I was joking to DH earlier about how I could do with a few more friends!

This is a good website //www.meetup.com. If you can't see anything you fancy, perhaps you could organise something yourself? How about joining a book club or the Young Ramblers? Understand if maybe that's not your thing. Lots of nice genuine (and kind) people though and not all of them are geeks!

[didipickles]

thank you for the link. will check it out, Im a bit of a geek myself so don't mind at all!at the moment i have dd with me nearly all the time as her dad isn't really arsed and i have no family. i don't mind being with her one bit i love it, think sometimes other people arrnt so keen is all !

[Cantbelieveitsnotbutter]

Im the same, my little one is with me all the time. I do love it, its through necessity more then choice but like i say i do really love it. its not ideal for catching up with friends though. Time flies so much, i try and catch up with my friends but lots of them i havent seen for over a year now.

[likeatonneofbricks]

OP, but how could you do a 'girly night out' with dd in tow? would be either no good for dd, or for the friend.

[likeatonneofbricks]

I mean for both, not 'either'.

[likeatonneofbricks]

finding new friends IS really hard and takes time and a lot of hits and misses. I sympathise as I'm also in a new place and it's not easy.

[catcalledginger]

I think you just need to keep plugging away at the friendship until a couple eventually stick!

I only worked with one of my friends for a couple of weeks but we have managed to stick together through thick and thin. Back then I didn't realise we were to go through so much together.

I think you just need to do different things and see who pops up. What about a bit of volunteering? I'm sure there are lots of things you could do where you could take your daughter. This is a good website too //www.do-it.org.uk.

Ooh, lots of nice fit men at the Young Ramblers if you are that way inclined too...

[didipickles]

likeatton - i meant a girly night in, we were going to watch a dvd with a bottle of wine after dd had gone to bed. but friend was too tired (3 days in advanc e) even for that :-\ .
thanks for the link cat,fit blokes are always a bonus as definitely don't get any chance of that at the moment!