Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Planning to leave - advice?

(6 Posts)
ExitStrategy Sat 01-Dec-12 08:54:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExitStrategy Sat 01-Dec-12 09:42:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lueji Sat 01-Dec-12 10:01:35

Contact a solicitor and CAB to understand what rights you specifically have.
Start thinking what jobs you could do.
Consider child minding for example, or do arts and crafts to sell. The skills you have might be applied to a business from home?

Obviously start putting some money aside, even 5 pounds per week.
Start asking you H for money for more things and save most of that.

ExitStrategy Sat 01-Dec-12 10:34:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts Sat 01-Dec-12 11:39:01

As you're married you have various advantages as you'll discover when you talk to a solicitor specialising in Family Law. Even though your name is not on the mortgage your home plus any other property, savings, etc. are regarded as 'marital assets' and the starting point in the event of a divorce is a 50/50 split. On top of that, your husband would retain financial responsibility for the welfare of your two DCs post divorce. In addition to that there are various forms of state help that can top up your income. Run a 'what if' through the benefits checker at for information on that.

In the meantime, agree with the above to start salting cash away whenever possible. Also address this problem of being taken for granted head on. Go for a serious 'economy drive' on the groceries for example... partly to free up more cash for your escape fund and partly to force him to substantially increase the allowance. Book social events, training courses or weekends away for yourself and force him to change his plans rather than you fitting round him. Make his life more challenging at all opportunities... whatever domestic niceties you do for him now such as food, laundry etc., just stop doing it.

ExitStrategy Sun 02-Dec-12 11:40:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now