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Love after divorce

(5 Posts)
Balancedk Thu 29-Nov-12 10:00:46

Sorry this is long but want your thoughts.We are late thirties, I am divorced (devorcexd him he was cheating and paying for sex)with two children and he has never married.I run my own business and he is a proffessional person.we have been seeing each other for just over a year spending 4 nights to together every week. He is very loving, good round the house, fantastic with the kids.We split up for a week after a year because I moved cities to open a new branch for my businessand he did not want to move, during that time he continued to come up every weekend. It took him 7 months to say he loves even then it was not every week he said it.After we got back together I decided to move back because my business at home started going wrong and it's my bread and butter. I thought he would want to move in with me as soon as I moved back, but it seems heis not ready. 6 weeks ago he gave me keys to his flat saying I should go an come as I please especially now that I am working between the two offices. Since getting back together he does not say the words I love you although he is very affectionate and treats me so well.i mean weekly dinners,massages ec.I have not met his parents yet which i find weird.the day was split up a few months a go was when he was going to take me to meet them. He mentioned early when we met that they are catholic but racist which he finds hypocritical. It's not like he visits them without me he doesn't go.we have been on family holidays and last Christmas he spent it with my family skiing and this year he is making Christmas dinner for my extended family.he now wants us to get a cat together.which he says he will be responsible for although the cat would live
At mine as my kids would like a pet too.I would live to be in marriage or living together partnership again, I don't want to grow old alone. Tell me if you think I am wasting time???

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 29-Nov-12 10:13:40

Didn't you post all this in another thread quite recently? The cat, the split, the not meeting the parents, the moving to another city etc is all very familiar. And wasn't the general response that, if you want a long-term partnership/marriage, this man is not ready for that yet, if he'll ever be?

glasscompletelybroken Thu 29-Nov-12 10:16:53

I am divorced - my exH used to tell me he loved me all the time but his actions said different. I married again and new DH hardly ever says "I love you" in words but says it in everything he does. Yes I do wish he would say it more often but I do know he loves me and am very happy.

What seems to come across in your post is that you are not communicating your feelings to him. I think you need to ask him how he sees the future and then you will know if his hopes are the same as yours. I think it can be a very positive thing to be more cautious and not rush into anything. Also it was you who moved away and he may have insecurities himself about moving in together, saying he loves you and then you moving again.

You just need to talk.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 29-Nov-12 10:29:33

Earlier thread here 'KayBristol' you were then.... Rather than a whole new thread, why not bump the old one?

Balancedk Thu 29-Nov-12 10:36:23

Yes thought old name was a bit dumb.a few people wanted to know about if he worked etc, I feel this time I have added the information.new to this site so don't know how to bump... Good tip thanks. It was also to get a
View of how long before expecting too much from a relationship

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