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My sister is making me so sad :(

(28 Posts)
AnnaBegins Mon 26-Nov-12 16:41:40

My sister asked for tickets to something which is happening in December as her (early) Christmas present, so I bought tickets for her and me.

She has just text me saying she no longer wants hers and I should get someone else to go. Apparently this is because of my 'attitude' (because I said she could maybe have told me this earlier) and because she is broke so apparently can't afford to get there (approx £7). This is the girl who works for my parents' company (so is well paid), has no bills except phone and council tax as the rest are paid by my parents (as were these until recently), and has just been on a two week holiday which we reckon cost her upwards of £2,000, her second holiday this year. Oh, and this year she got me neither a wedding nor birthday present.

She will expect another present at Christmas, and I just can't afford it. I'm not working currently so am just as broke, if not more so as DH and I pay our own bills etc ofcourse. I also am fed up with this. I can't bring myself to pander to her.

I know it's not her fault, it's my parents who have spoilt her and brought her up to believe she can have whatever she wants and speak to people however she wants. But it still hurts.

I don't really know why I'm posting, it has just made me sad.

A1980 Mon 26-Nov-12 16:47:03

Sell the tickets and buy her nothing else. she doesn't deserve anything.

HotDAMNlifeisgood Mon 26-Nov-12 16:51:13

Well, she can't have whatever she wants and speak to people however she wants. Time to disabuse her of that notion by not pandering to her. Don't get her another Christmas present.

She didn't get you a wedding gift???

Jemma1111 Mon 26-Nov-12 16:52:31

What a bitch she sounds !

I agree , don't bother buying her anything else as she is obviously very ungrateful .
And hold your head up high , you pay your own way and don't sponge off mummy and daddy like she does

picnicbasketcase Mon 26-Nov-12 16:54:31

Really, really, don't buy her anything else. If she's suddenly got the hump and wants to shoot herself in the foot (interesting mixed metaphors) that's up to her. How ungrateful.

pictish Mon 26-Nov-12 16:55:10

Do not buy her another present.
If she asks why, tell her. Just like you told us.


3monkeys Mon 26-Nov-12 16:55:22

Sounds like my sister! Try and let it go, don't buy her another present. She won't appreciate it anyway

scarletforya Mon 26-Nov-12 17:18:01

Buy her a goat in the third world. Brat.

AnnaBegins Mon 26-Nov-12 17:33:11

Scarlet I like the goat idea, I might do that!

Buying her nothing is not an option, unfortunately! The fall out from my parents would probably be heard in Australia!

HotDAMN She really didn't get us a wedding present, said everything on our list was boring so I gave her a few other ideas, she said she'd get one of them but has never bothered. Didn't surprise us much really.

Glad to hear I'm not going crazy and that this really isn't good behaviour, but not sure I can do much about it without starting world war III with my family!

CailinDana Mon 26-Nov-12 17:41:32

Sounds like my sister too, right down to the not getting us a wedding present, scrounging off parents and claiming to be broke in spite of all evidence. You are a grown adult and are perfectly entitled to decide yourself how to interact with other people, without the interference of your family. My mother gets stroppy over my relationship with my sister too but when she recently tried to invite her to my birthday outing I laid down the law once and for all (with the great encouragement of MN!) and nothing bad happened! My mother is aware deep down what a bitch my sister is, even if she pretends she isn't.

Just get her something really small for Christmas. I have to buy for my sister too but I buy piddly little things from ebay.

colditz Mon 26-Nov-12 17:43:24

Get her a goat from oxfam. Nothing says "I think you're a spoilt, ungrateful brat" better than an oxfam goat.

ll31 Mon 26-Nov-12 17:56:20

theres something really satisfying about buying an oxfam present for someone who'll be disgudted... say on card that you knew she'd love it cos she's so generous!

ll31 Mon 26-Nov-12 17:56:50


Sparkletastic Mon 26-Nov-12 18:01:17

Give her both the tickets and £7 for the fare. Nothing else. And don't pander to your parents either - they created this entitled madam...

AnnaBegins Mon 26-Nov-12 18:12:14

Wow well done you Cailin for sticking to your guns!

Right, oxfam goat it is [evil grin]

mammadiggingdeep Mon 26-Nov-12 18:20:17

Hahaha!!! Oxfam goat!!!! Love it smile

ajandjjmum Mon 26-Nov-12 18:23:28

Tell her you'll get her Christmas present when you get your Wedding present.

Back2Two Mon 26-Nov-12 18:36:11

You sound quite bitter towards her anyway and as if you don't really like her. it's my parents who have spoilt her and brought her up to believe she can have whatever she wants and speak to people however she wants. But it still hurts.

You are obviously aware of the money vibe between you and has just been on a two week holiday which we reckon cost her upwards of £2,000, her second holiday this year

Maybe she's aware of this vibe too and felt the tickets were offered grudgingly (as they obvs were)? Better communication between you or you'll end up falling out ...... over money ......

3monkeys Mon 26-Nov-12 19:00:51

My sister has caused terrible trouble between me and my parents. She gets harder and harder to buy for her, this year Mum tried to give me ideas and I said no, she could have a voucher. She won't bother getting the children anything they want!

Nanny0gg Mon 26-Nov-12 19:27:58

If she hasn't bought you a wedding present, why do your parents expect you to buy her a present?

Adversecamber Mon 26-Nov-12 19:30:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 26-Nov-12 19:36:57

Oxfam goat...definitely!!

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere Mon 26-Nov-12 19:38:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotDAMNlifeisgood Mon 26-Nov-12 19:54:15

not sure I can do much about it without starting world war III with my family!

The family system is clearly dysfunctional. Yes, other family members will baulk if you start standing up the to the brattish behaviour that they enable. Doesn't mean you shouldn't do what you believe to be right.

AnnaBegins Mon 26-Nov-12 22:11:38

Back2Two Thanks for the perspective, the tickets weren't offered grudgingly as it's something we'd both enjoy but not something I'd go to without her, and we often do "experience" type presents, but she knows I think she's spoilt so you do have a point of sorts.

She is younger than me, but not by much, just not very mature. Standard youngest child favouritism I reckon Adverse, I've stopped worrying about it as I don't feel hard done by.

Haha thanks NaiceSpam, don't think I'm that lovely, we all have our own rubbish traits! But thank you.

Think I will try and smooth things over, as it would be a shame to see tickets go to waste, and she is my sister. But failing that, goats all the way!

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