I've only been with him just over a year, but its never really been good if I'm honest, I found him very controlling and domineering from the start, though I found him very attractive and there was a connection. He just was so used to being on his own living a batchelor life, he found it hard to be in a relationship, and there was many let down and dishonesty, he has an anger problem and shouts when he doesn't get his own way, he once threatened to throw me out of the car, post intimate pictures of me on fb, generally threatening ,so much so I once called the police. He has a short fuse and its just walking on egg shells most of the time. I don't live with him thank god, but its proving really difficult to get rid of him. I have finished it so many times at least 7 and everytime he wins me back and promises to change. I used to say I loved him but now actually I don't think I do, there's been so many threats, deception my love for him has gone but he won't take no for an answer.
I thought I would try stick things out for xmas, as we have joint xmas presents for the kids, plans made over xmas, but I'm finding it hard. I don't know why as I always thought of myself as a strong person, but he has chipped away at my confidence and made me feel I cannot cope on my own as I have no family around me so I have relied on him.
The other night he was wanting sex, I tried to put him off but he kept on about it so I went along with it, but although I used to enjoy sex with him for some reason, and I generally love sex , it was just an awful experience. It didn't feel special it was all about what he wanted oral sex for him, anal sex which I don't really enjoy it was painful, during the sex he pushed my head to give him oral sex again. He wanted me to do things I didn't want to he didn't make me but I just felt awful. I told him a little how I felt the next day, he sort of comforted me but said I analyse things too much and think too much. I felt he was telling me I shouldn't feel like that and trying to control how I should feel or am I being over dramatic! He did start shouting eventually as he said I didn't listen to him. Basically I've had enough but it is soooo hard to finish it and just thinking I will keep him at a distance as much as possible till after xmas, so not to ruin it too much. I really just need to talk to someone as I am dealing with this myself and hear other peoples opinions that maybe have been in a simular situation.
Its not a case of getting stroppy, I needed support not told what I already know! You might of had your own situation anyfucker but everyones is different. Ok I've obviously come to the wrong place for support but it helped by getting it out for the first time, so I won't trouble you netmums again but thanks for reading!
Yup, agree with the others - leave him. now. Yuk. He sounds horrible. Change the locks if he has keys to your house, tell him you will inform the police if he stalks you/tries to get in. Be strong. He's just an arrogant asshole. You posted on here and asked what you shoudl do...
I have been in a similar situation with such a man. It does not get better. In fact it only gets worse.
I know that it is difficult, but it is possible. I managed it, but it cost me my job and me and DS our home. The first and biggest step is to stop finding reasons to stay. The second, is to stop all contact (this is so much easier if you don't share a home or DCs). The third step is to get professional help to repair the damage done.
Marvelous, you have so few Christmases in your lifetime. Very few that you can enjoy with young DCs. Please do not waste this one with an abuser.
I know I am just very sensitive as I've been told how stupid I am for so long I felt some of the posters were saying that, wereas deep down I know I am for staying a minute longer but if I'm honest I'm scared I guess, scared of him, scared of not being able to cope. He won't leave me alone, its hard but I know somehow I have to do it I need to make a plan I think I'm scared of dealing with the aftermath on my own, maybe doing it after xmas is stupid I don't know I'm just confused and not being me. I will go away and make a plan thanks again for reading