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Ok....this isn't working....your advice please

(5 Posts)
Lovemy3kids Sun 25-Nov-12 11:14:38

My background....single mum of 3....left XH as he'd been unfaithful several times....XH has kids every other weekend and that's when I go out and have some me time.

Am currently in a 'friends with benefits' situation with a guy....knew him from when we were teenagers, not seen each other in over 20 odd years, and have kind of hooked up.

From the start he knew that I would not introduce him to my DC and he would have to come round when they were in bed of an evening if he wanted to see me. He was fine with this and so was I. We both agreed that we wouldn't rush into a relationship and would take it slow. But I'm beginning to think if we go any slower we're going to stop.

He says he cares for me and has really strong feelings for me, but he's not prepared to do anything about it. This weekend for example, my DC are with my XH, yet when I asked my FWB at the start of the week if he wanted to spend time with me, he said yes......and I've seen him for 1/2 hour this weekend!! When I questioned him over as to why he didn't want to see me, he said he knew how important time with my friends is on the weekends I don't have my kids, and he didn't want to stop me doing that. But I had already said to him at the start of the week that my weekend was free for him and I to spend time together.

I really like him, but I feel that what we have is never going to turn into anything more and I feel as though I am wasting my time and that I should just end it.

What do you think?

bumhead Sun 25-Nov-12 12:23:34

Can I ask if this is a FWB why you expect it to be more like a relationship?
Did you actually discuss this being a FWB at the start and your feelings have changed?
If so then you need to sit down with this guy and tell him your feelings have developed and what you want/expect from here on in

amidaiwish Sun 25-Nov-12 12:25:49

You need to have an honest upfront conversation. Your feelings have changed. It might be time to call it a day or it might be the start of something great, but you need to talk first.

mortimersraven Sun 25-Nov-12 12:27:05

He's just not that into you

ErikNorseman Sun 25-Nov-12 12:56:53

It isn't 'FWB' if you are expecting it to become a relationship. It's a fairly crap relationship with someone who only wants sex. Doesn't sound great that was around does it?
FWB is no strings attached, no future, no commitment. It's hard to get right.

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