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New 'boyfriend' is married and has two children WWYD?

(123 Posts)
MissNJE Fri 23-Nov-12 09:26:38


I broke up nearly two months ago with my fiancée (He hid the fact that he was 280k in debt etc.) and although I thought it wouldnt happen so quickly I met somebody new a few weeks ago. Everything is great, however he never wants to meet me at the weekend as he says he is busy. But he told me yesterday that he is married with two children but they are separated and only live together for the children's sake. Just to explain: he has a flat in Central London and I assumed it was his 'bachelor' pad but at the weekend he lives with his family in Surrey.

I really like this guy but I am not sure if I should believe him. I wonder if I should ask him if I can speak to his wife. I feel slightly uncomfortable about the whole situation. If I was his wife I surely wouldn't want to spend the weekends with him while during the week he sleeps is with his new girlfriend.


Sorry for spelling but quickly tipping from iPad.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Fri 23-Nov-12 09:27:40

I wouldn't believe him.

Pochemuchka Fri 23-Nov-12 09:28:04

Ditch him until he can prove all ties are broken.

In the meantime you might meet someone else less complicated.

mortimersraven Fri 23-Nov-12 09:29:00


run, run!

espanol Fri 23-Nov-12 09:29:27

Walk away quickly. It won't end well sad

Chrysanthemum5 Fri 23-Nov-12 09:29:33

I think you need some time on your own to get over your last relationship before you see someone new.

Only continue seeing this new man if you're ok with being the other woman. He's telling you that, so listen to him.

LittleMidge Fri 23-Nov-12 09:30:18

Ohhhh I've been fed this line before and fell for it hook line and sinker! Turned out very, very badly!!! Run, run, run!!!!

Snusmumriken Fri 23-Nov-12 09:30:27

Run away as fast as you can!

MissNJE Fri 23-Nov-12 09:30:39

Yes, I wonder why it always happen to me. I am going out now but trying to reply from my phone.

ProcrastinatingPanda Fri 23-Nov-12 09:31:27

I'd dump him tbh.

scaevola Fri 23-Nov-12 09:32:05

Break off with him immediately.

He is still entangled with his family, and you should never, ever believe that someone is truly separated if they are living in the family home part of the time. I bet his wife doesn't know they are "separated" anyhow.

cloudpuff Fri 23-Nov-12 09:32:09

Run for the hills. I may be wrong but the odds are they very much still together. You should try asking to speak to his wife, if its a flat out no, or he makes lame excuses then I would ditch him tbh.

Gigondas Fri 23-Nov-12 09:32:32

Chinny reckon they are together for kids- run.

willyoulistentome Fri 23-Nov-12 09:32:45

You seriously have to ask what to do???


HairyGrotter Fri 23-Nov-12 09:33:31

Sounds like he's full of shit. Walk away and quickly

quietlysuggests Fri 23-Nov-12 09:33:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wewereherefirst Fri 23-Nov-12 09:33:54

Run!! The weekday flat is a work pad and he goes home to his family. Spend some time by yourself and find someone who isn't attached.

BeckAndCall Fri 23-Nov-12 09:34:43

Run! Not only for your sake but for here. They're obvisouly still together and they stand no chance of working out whatever their problems are with you on the scene. Do the decent thing and step away.

Gintonic Fri 23-Nov-12 09:35:55

Sorry to say it, but sounds like a definite lie to me. And even if it's true how can you have a proper relationship if he is living a lie for the supposed benefit of his children?

willyoulistentome Fri 23-Nov-12 09:37:20

...and by the way - you won't have been the first or the last that that he will try this crap on!

feelingdizzy Fri 23-Nov-12 09:38:32

get away now,the longer you stay the harder it will be for everyone.

Pancakeflipper Fri 23-Nov-12 09:38:54

Don't even challenge him on it because he will feed you persuasive crap.
Just step away from him and move along.

You will find a debt free, single man.

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 23-Nov-12 09:39:33

Run, not just walk away.

Think you need to raise your own relationship bar a lot higher than it currently is.

He's lying through his teeth and sees you as purely an opportunity to exploit.
Do not permit your own self to be further exploited.

ThePathanKhansWitch Fri 23-Nov-12 09:39:48

Get shot OP.

catsmother Fri 23-Nov-12 09:40:03

It's true these days that a number of couples remain living together, not for the "sake of the children" but because they literally can't afford to split up and still house everyone adequately. That must be a living hell but if this man has another flat in central London there's absolutely no reason why he would need to remain in the family home - and most women would tell him to sod off to the London flat if they had really split up. Untold numbers of children survive their parents splitting up - to remain (allegedly) "together" for their sake is just ridiculous, and if this were true, it'd be a very unhealthy situation for the kids anyway.

You're being spun a line.

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