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Relationships

Husband lied about daytrip with a woman from work

95 replies

Leadingavocado · 22/11/2012 12:36

We live abroad and my husband has some foreign travel. He had a trip and asked me if it was ok to go a day early over the weekend as he would have a daytrip with a male colleague out there and a couple of other people. When he got back I asked about the daytrip and could sense he was lying. I checked his Blackberry and saw an email from him to a woman he works with (she is based in the UK but comes to our country reasonably frequently). saying he would meet her in the lobby of the hotel onw the sunday morning for the daytrip.

I was very upset and he obviously straight away admitting lying, didn't have much choice. Said I had made a comment about this woman before (cannot remember if I had, but it would have been nothing that pointed). So he lied for. quiet life.

I have since been checking his Blackberry and his emails to her are friendly but nothing more than that.

He has a subsequent trip abroad and texted to say he had managed to get a day off to sightsee and I was convinced it was with her and was very cold when he got back. I found a receipt in his wallett of a meal one evening for two people. He denied it was with her but then I think changed his story as to the third person who came along and paid seperately.

He has another trip away next week and is back in the UK the week after. This woman will be there next week but there is no reason for him to meet her the following week in the UK.

I feel left with a lot of anger about this. The last 5 yrs have not been easy with two small children, overseas, no support. I have been very lonely at times and depressed.

We have spoken about it and I have told him what I consider acceptable and daytrips or dining with a female colleague alone, who you see on a regular basis is not acceptable.

I think he has forgotten about it and wants to put it behind him. I am the one left with the anger and suspicion.

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Leadingavocado · 22/11/2012 12:46

I guess I want to remain calm about it. I overreacted about the second trip because he did not sightsee with her, rather another, much older female colleague who he sees rarely and does not have much contact with and two other men.

I do not want my marriage to end but neither will I tolerate being lied to. How do you act in the best interests of your marriage? There maybe nothing going on with this woman, it might be a mild infatuation of his part that will fizzle out. She may not have the slightest interest and in 6 months time everything could have changed.

I am the one affected by this and yesterday deleted an email that he received from her on his Blackberry. He had commented on something in a presentation she had done and had come back saying you were the only one to notice. He had marked the email as unread and to my suspicious mind was intending to reply and so get a non work related exchange going. This may not be the case but that is what suspicion does to you. It is very ugly.

He may or may not notice the email has been deleted. It will be interesting to see if he comments tonight as he is normally very half soaked about things .

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