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I need advice on why he is no longer attracted to me

(18 Posts)
dzroxy Wed 21-Nov-12 16:22:51

I think it's b/c I've recently gained some weight. How can I approach it?

TobyLerone Wed 21-Nov-12 16:24:53

Ask him!

dzroxy Wed 21-Nov-12 16:25:56

I tried! He just continued eating his meal and said it's nothing. Now what?

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 21-Nov-12 16:34:26

Who isn't attracted to you? Why do you think they're not attracted to you?

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 21-Nov-12 16:36:58

I mean... what is it in their behaviour that makes you think they're not attracted to you? And what's 'nothing'....?

Caerlaverock Wed 21-Nov-12 16:39:53

I feel less attractive when a bit overweight which is turn puts Dh off. Could this be a factor?

McBuckers Wed 21-Nov-12 16:42:59

Has he actually said he is no longer attracted to you or are basing this on his behaviour?

Wecanfixit Wed 21-Nov-12 18:54:39

Yea why would you think he has gone off you because you have gained a little weight?, need more information please

Apocalypto Wed 21-Nov-12 18:56:04

How long have you been an item and when did he start losing interest?

dzroxy Mon 26-Nov-12 19:59:07

i've been dating him for one year. I think i'm uncomfortable around him too. What can i do? I'm dieting and everything, but it's not enough to get rid of the fat fast!

Wecanfixit Fri 14-Dec-12 22:44:40

Talk to him , if you are really worried about your weight you need to know why he has cooled off, it may not be you at all did you ever think of that?, and it might be something bothering him , that is why you need to talk, communicationis the key, all the best .

amillionyears Fri 14-Dec-12 22:46:27

What has he actually said precisely

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts Fri 14-Dec-12 22:54:20

Dating for just a year? And you're already feeling uncomfortable, wondering where it went wrong and desperately trying to lose weight? If someone doesn't love you exactly the way you are and find you attractive warts and all, spare-tyre and all, then they're not worth wasting your time on.

Sallyingforth Fri 14-Dec-12 22:58:20

After being together for a year the two of you are beginning to realise that you are not really suited. Just move on - no harm done.

lovethyself Fri 14-Dec-12 23:17:27

I love the usual advice, "dump him", "just move on", "if he doesn't love you as you are" etc etc and all that. However in order for someone to love you/fancy you, you must love and fancy yourself. In other words be comfortable in your own skin. Your partner should always support you (the decent ones anyway, sometimes telling you somehome truths), however in order to be loved you must love yourself (in a non ego central way), and find happiness in your own skin. And if you then feel that someone doesn't give you the love you truely deserve, then dump them, and find the love you are truely worth.

You know what the answers are, as you ask for the answers in your own questions. You know in yourself if you feel fat, unsexy, unconfident, that you must work on these first.

My advice. If you were as ship sailing on the open ocean, you wouldn't drill holes in your own boat. So why drill holes in your personal boat.

Learn to love thy self, and work on your own insecurities. Eventually men, women, people will be attracted to that inner self, sense of importance, that you matter.

Love and well being to you all. xxxxx

Feckthehalls Sat 15-Dec-12 00:02:03

how much weight have you gained?

I am considerably less attractive when I gain weight. That is just a fact and has absolutely nothing to do with my self confidence. I just start to look jowly and ugly .

Birdsgottafly Sat 15-Dec-12 00:24:49

My recent ex told me that it was the weight that i had gained stopped our physical relationship.

Since splitting up, he has had sex with two women, both bigger than me.

It's done wonders for my confidence because i believed the crap that he had come out with.

Funny enough since ending the relationship, i have stopped over eating and my sex drive has come back.

Sallyingforth Sat 15-Dec-12 11:19:58

Birds, I think your case is like the OP. You were drifting apart, and the (imaginary) weight thing was just something for him to hang it on. If it wasn't that it would have been something else. You did the right thing to split.

This is why I think every couple should live together for at least a couple of years before getting married or having children, so that you can have a relatively painless break if you find you are not really suited when the honeymoon period is over.

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