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Calling all 60s girls/ 70s & 80s Mums...

(3 Posts)
Anna1976 Mon 19-Nov-12 00:05:55

Can you tell me, and others like me, what you'd like in your relationships with your children (and their partners, if relevant)?

Unfortunately I have a very difficult relationship with my mother, most of which is my own problem. She's the kind of person whom others think is "fabulous" and who makes me feel like a miserable, silent teenager because her endless comments on everything make me just want to go and hide in a locked room.

I want to be kind to her, but actually she seems like so much of an alien to me i just have no idea what to say to her sad. She was a bit of a Mary Quant girl in her time in London in the 60s, a lot of her identity has been tied up in others' appreciation of her beauty and her good housekeeping. I think she feels a bit lost in a modern world where young women don't want to be a Stepford Wife, don't want to be Mary Quant, and don't want to be Germaine Greer either.

Can anyone suggest conversation topics and activities that will make her happy when i visit? I don't have kids, I don't really share her interests that much, I am depressed, recently separated, hate entertaining, don't have luncheon parties because all my friends work and I loathe cooking, I definitely don't share her taste in clothes or in shopping habits (she loves nothing more than an entire day spent in cothes shops trying things on and buying nothing... likes lots of frills and sparkly hairclips... I like black, or dark brown on a festive day, and I buy stuff online so I can never visit a clothes shop if I don't have to). I am a massive disappointment to her - but then some days so is my sister, who on the surface is a clone of my mother.

For all her talking, my Mum isn't very articulate or emotionally literate. She probably would just be flippant or viciously critical if I said "what would you like to talk about?".

Can anyone help with how to make things smoother, if not necessarily happier?

Mayisout Mon 19-Nov-12 05:44:42

You sound like chalk and cheese.
What about going somewhere like an art gallery or art exhibition. And keeping the meetings short.
What about garden centres, home exhibitions?
Hmmm, that's about it.

Anna1976 Mon 19-Nov-12 05:57:24

Thanks Mayisout - chalk and cheese is about it really grin

Yes, the gallery idea is a good one - thanks

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