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How long is too quick?

(19 Posts)
doinmybest Sun 18-Nov-12 09:18:01

My husband has recently left me for OW. After the initial shock I have told him I was applying for benefits and needed his NI number. I also told him I had applied for reduction on the council tax and he nearly had a stroke! Every time I mention something practical or financial he says theres no need for that! I asked him to take the rest of his stuff and he replied what? all of it? Silly question but how long do I give him?

'No need for that' - Sounds like he is surprised by how you're getting everything organised for you and moving on with your life. Well done, I was a wreck for weeks.

I'd drop the stuff round his and leave it all outside in bin bags if he keeps delaying collection grin

PopMusicShoobyDoobyDoA Sun 18-Nov-12 09:35:55

I wouldn't take it round. Set a date and tell him if he has not collected his stuff by that date, you will leave his stuff outside and it's his responsibility to pick it up. I would give him 2/3 weeks. That should get his arse into gear.

Mum2Fergus Sun 18-Nov-12 09:36:05

Its never too quick, he's made his bed...now you need to sort yours. Keep going while you're on a roll...and all the best OP.

tallwivglasses Sun 18-Nov-12 09:38:51

It sounds like he's seeing this as a little fling and he's planning to stroll back in when he feels like it. Out of order!

FermezLaBouche Sun 18-Nov-12 09:38:51

What a knob! Does he imagine he's away on some temporary jolly?? Good for you for getting things sorted. Bloody entitled wanker.

OpheliaPayneAgain Sun 18-Nov-12 09:40:11

You'll find his NI number on his payslips etc, check your filing.

I don't suppose you actually need it if you give his full name and DOB.

slartybartfast Sun 18-Nov-12 09:43:26

what does he think?, he will come back and eveyrthign will be hunky dory?

Startail Sun 18-Nov-12 09:44:21

The day you find out their is an Ow

Startail Sun 18-Nov-12 09:45:25

There is an OW

meditrina Sun 18-Nov-12 09:48:48

The progress you've made on admin and financial issues is brilliant and very necessary.

If he doesn't like the change from romantic fantasy of life with OW into reality of separation, that's his problem

I wouldn't throw away his stuff, but I would have it bagged up ready. If you have a garage, I'd leave it there and tell him it's available for collection (I wouldn't put a time limit if stuff is where you don't have to see it, but then again, our garage is slightly prone to mould). Otherwise, tell him 2 weeks or you'll deliver it to an intermediary (his mother?)

Otherwise, tell him 2 weeks or you'll deliver it to an intermediary

^
That's a good idea.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 18-Nov-12 09:56:30

Sounds like you've got exactly the right idea and he's struggling with the reality. Never too early to sort out the practical and financial matters IMHO. When you've had something as nasty happen as your husband walking out on the family, you really don't want money problems on top. Sorry this has happened to you but glad you've got your priorities straight. Something that can't be said for him, of course.

ErikNorseman Sun 18-Nov-12 14:15:29

No time at all. He has gone - so take care of yourself anyway you need to. Twat.

doinmybest Sun 18-Nov-12 14:21:53

ive told him It will be bagged in the garage. Good idea to give him a time limit then Ill just drop it at his sisters. Thanks for the advice.

cozietoesie Sun 18-Nov-12 14:25:28

Loving your practicality, doinmybest. You're an example to all.

smile

doinmybest Sun 18-Nov-12 14:38:37

thanks cozie Im surprising myself ;)

JaxTellerIsMyFriend Sun 18-Nov-12 14:41:26

good for you doinmybest keep on going, get the practical things sorted out. You need to do this to make sure you and your children are protected. Tough if your ex doesnt want to face reality!

LaCiccolina Sun 18-Nov-12 14:57:05

I'm not sure the phrase "too quick" applies... Assuming ur not moving a new man in...

The right time is when u feel alright to do it. Do t act rashly in anger though is all I'd say. Just if ur comfortable.

Might b too quick for him, perhaps he thought ud still be crying on kitchen floor than mildly carrying on? Ego or what?!

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