God I don't even know how last night happened. We've been together nearly 4 years and have a son who will be one next week ;(
We rowed, over something silly - it got worse - i got really angry and really defensive - cos of course its always all my fault, for bitching at him, for not listening to him, for sniping and getting grumpy and being moody.
I lost my temper and needed to get out of being told how awful a person I am, so I grabbed the baby and left. He said if I walked out he wouldn't be here when I got back.
And he's not.
I text him mum as I left and asked her to call him and checked when I got to my friends she had (I always had plans to be there with the baby last night with OH? was at work on nights)
I got texts from him for about an hour saying he needed his family- but I wouldn't understand that - I've got what I wanted now - I should be happy. I never wanted this, never wanted to have a baby and then be on my own.
I'm not saying I'm a saint, I just couldn't handle being at fault anymore,
I do love him, we did have good times. but they did feel like such an effort.
I guess now I need to work out what I want - do I wanna try again - or give up and work out what happens now.
He owes me a LOT of money :( I know stupid stupid - I THINK I could cope if he didn't pay anything but towards our son (according to csa he should be giving me £47 a week) I'm sure my parents would help me and I could renegotiate loans etc if I needed to.
I'm such a mess, I don't even know what I'm thinking/feeling
Anyone with any advice or questions to try and work out what to do now gratefully recieved.
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Relationships
I need some advice - I walked out: he's left
4 replies
glitternanny · 18/11/2012 08:31
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