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dp just told a waitress she's gorgeous...

(78 Posts)
Dunkinbiscuits Sat 17-Nov-12 21:41:29

just having a nice romantic meal and dp said to waitress 'you're gorgeous you are' !!! Right in front of me ffs- i threw a wobbly and now hes sat outside as i finish the bottle of champers at the bar alone - feeling pretty shit tbh :-( am i over reacting?

lotsofcheese Sun 18-Nov-12 08:31:06

It's funny how often the unfaithful partner accuses the other of adultery...

Dunkinbiscuits Sun 18-Nov-12 09:53:16

I slept really well thanks to the bubbly :-) just had breakfast alone in the dining room, haven't spoken to him yet. Our relationship just seems to be one let down after another - I wonder what today will bring, there's not even any shops open here on a Sunday so cant even get some retail therapy!! Lol thanks for all of the messages - much appreciated xxx

ChippingInLovesAutumn Sun 18-Nov-12 10:01:19

What a twat.

It doesn't sound like a relationship worth having to be honest sad

Why are you still with him?

If I were you, I'd go out on my own, walk about, drink coffee and have a damn good think about life. No matter how many years you've been together, what you have been through in the past it's not 'wasted' if you leave now, it's all part of your life still - but it doesn't mean you have to 'hang in there' anymore. You can have a lovely new life, without this bloke dragging you down. I'm not even going to ask if you have kids, because it doesn't matter - this is about you and your life. If you have kids he can still be their father, whether he's living with you or not. Your life doesn't have to be like this, it really doesn't.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 18-Nov-12 10:03:27

He sounds like a knob. So much for 'I only have eyes for you'. If your relationship is a series of let-downs, how about packing a bag and leaving him where he is? Get back to a place with Sunday trading.....

sudaname Sun 18-Nov-12 10:07:26

My now DH used to call a young barmaid in our local 'the lovely <insertbarmaidsname>' whenever he referred to her to me, in real affectionate tones.
Used to piss me off no end. She is a lovely girl and lovely looking etc and about twenty odd years younger than both of us, but did he really have to mention it every single time he saw her.
Think from memory it stopped around the time l started eyeing up the barman and commenting on his gorgeous eyes etc and so me and now DH had that 'good for the goose is good for the gander' conversation.
Plus l told him he looked a silly old fool aswell grin.

sudaname Sun 18-Nov-12 10:09:41

but never managed to stop him commenting on a regular newsreader he fancies everytime she comes on the box,so l just throw cushions at him now grin

sudaname Sun 18-Nov-12 10:13:01

Meant to say ime just because a man admires or comments on other women doesnt mean to say he doesnt love you merely he's an insensitive twat. hmm

merlottits Sun 18-Nov-12 10:17:38

He sounds horrible. He said that to hurt you.
Then tries to insinuate you were in an alley with a waiter.

What a catch. You can do so much better.

I promise there is not a man on this earth who would that say to a waitress if he was on a romantic date with the women he loved and respected.


BadLad Sun 18-Nov-12 10:58:19

He was certainly being twit. However, I think you were a little silly discussing your relationship issues with the hotel staff.

Darkesteyes Sun 18-Nov-12 16:53:27

She was upset and because of that she probably felt she needed to discuss it with someone.
Oh i forgot women should put up and shut up right.
And calling her "a little silly" How patronizing and belittling.

JustFabulous Sun 18-Nov-12 17:27:22

OP, how are things today?

MadAboutHotChoc Sun 18-Nov-12 17:50:07

Is this a recent behaviour? Often cheaters become very flirtatous with people other than the one they are having an affair with (something to do with the massive ego boosts they're getting from OW going to their head and believing they are actually sex gods hmm) and the deflecting is very telling too.

If he has always been like this, then he's probably a knob you are better off without....

Abitwobblynow Sun 18-Nov-12 17:56:49

Totally disrespectful YANBU. And it is a red flag: my H did this, he ended up having an A

StuntGirl Mon 19-Nov-12 01:13:10

Bloody hell! Disrespectful, insensitive, thoughtless, stupid...need I go on? And then to question your whereabouts in between? I hope he has apologised for his twattish behaviour OP!

BadLad Mon 19-Nov-12 01:15:28

Nobody said women should put up and shut up. Until you did, that is.

It isn't a gender issue, try as you might to make it one. I'd say the same thing to anyone who unloaded the problems in their relationship to the staff of the hotel they were staying in, especially if their partner was staying in the same hotel.

WakeyCakey Mon 19-Nov-12 18:39:05

Well done you for talking to the reception staff! if he didn't want it talked about he shouldn't of said it!!

I think i would of covered my DP in drink if he did that, how rude! completely unacceptable!

Go find yourself someone gorgeous who will only have eyes for you!!

BadLad Mon 19-Nov-12 23:42:37

So would you be happy if your partner was pissed off with something you had said or done and went and discussed with people whose services you would be paying for?

If so, more power to you, but I don't understand that way of thinking. Fortunately, DW has just confirmed that she agrees with me, so that if we have an argument in future I don't have to worry about the staff in the local supermarket giving me haughty looks for it.

Unlike a previous poster, I hope the "girls at reception" didn't give him evil looks, for their sakes, in case he noticed and complained to the manager.

ccarpenton Tue 20-Nov-12 00:02:03

yep. agree with everyone else that said they'd drop him instantly. there is no changing that sort of attitude. absolutely no change at all. that is something wrong with either their brain or their personality. either way - unfixable.

Dunkinbiscuits Thu 22-Nov-12 18:55:41

Sorry I went awol, I probably shouldn't have moaned to the reception girls but we stay there all the time and they know us well so felt like they were a friendly ear tbh (think they probably wonder what the hell i am doing with him anyway!) Things aren't great and i'm seriously thinking of ending it sad

ladybird69 Thu 22-Nov-12 18:56:22

Years ago I was out for a romantic meal with my OH. I was about 8 months preg with 3rd child. OH was quiet all eve, on way home I asked him what was wrong and he replied 'I'm embarrassed to be seen with you, you're so fat' the saddest part was I stayed with him and let him make me feel so worthless and ugly by the day.
OP that man doesn't deserve you. Don't be like me. Get out now while you've got some self esteem left. Good luck

Dunkinbiscuits Thu 22-Nov-12 19:07:18

shock Bloody hell Ladybird, I hope you've got rid of him now!!!

RichardSimmonsTankTop Thu 22-Nov-12 19:55:27

ladybird how awful. sad You are worth SO much more than that. ((hugs))

OP - glad you're thinking of ending it. I would've felt so humiliated sitting there watching the waitress look embarrassed. He sounds like a complete moron.

ladybird69 Thu 22-Nov-12 20:17:02

Dunkin yes got rid of him but it cost me the very highest price of all, he turned my own children against me and took them when he finally left. The relief of him and his poisonous behaviour has been over shadowed by the pure heartbreaking pain of losing my babies (they are all over the age of court orders I'm afraid) Don't make the same mistakes as me.
Richard thanks x I am but after 26 years of being treated as something he stepped in, its gonna take a while to recover sad

Dunkinbiscuits Thu 22-Nov-12 21:15:53

Oh Ladybird i'm so sorry, what a shit! I don't have children with my partner but 2 boys with my exh, we have a very amicable relationship and our eldest lives with him. My 'D'P on the other hand has just informed me that he has missed another court date (we were going through Cafcass to allow access with both of us at regular intervals - his ex wife hates me btw) so his ex wife has gleefully informed him that the case is closed, bang goes our chance of having a regular life as a blended family sad

He has gone home as he wants to sulk, doesn't want to talk about it and feels like his life is soooo bad - grrrr, I organise every other fucking thing in his life and he can't manage to open a letter!! I really feel like giving up sad

ladybird69 Thu 22-Nov-12 21:22:42

Dunkin oh God that sounds pretty Toxic to me! See I'm fine my Rose tinted glasses have fallen off!!! He sounds like another child to worry about tbh. There are number of times I should have said enough! Think you need to work out whether he is worth his drama. Take care and be strong x

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