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Twirling body builders, dominant alpha males and been hurt in the past-Dating thread part 29

(1000 Posts)
Milkandlotsandlotsofwine Sat 17-Nov-12 17:42:16

Took the liberty of starting a new thread. blush

Off you go ladies and gents...

hatesponge Thu 22-Nov-12 08:37:49

Watch good luck with the move smile I will miss you on here, please com back once you are settled in new house!

Pixie tbh I wouldn't bother with the dr. IME when men say they're not looking for anything serious that tends to mean they're just after one-off sex. If that's what you want then by all means met him, but if not then I wouldn't.

questions2008 Thu 22-Nov-12 08:41:58

Good luck watch hope you'll be back soon!

watchoutforthatsnail Thu 22-Nov-12 09:04:36

i will smile

ill dip in and out with random updates in the meantime.

ill miss you too sponge, but fear not, im sure ill update via fb smile
Good luck with your new job too.

and pixie - agree with sponge!

thing is, also, i dont think ill do online dating agin. No offence, but to all the newbies on here, its just the same old stuff, its the same thing, over and over again ( not the fault of newbies, just the fault of online dating) the same shit behaviour, the same lies, the same sleeze, the same vanishers, etc, etc.
Ive a gay friend that had his first online date yesterday, from pof. guess what - exactly the same behaviour! he got an unsolicited cock shot, obsessive texts, pushing for an earlier date, only for the guy to vanish. it was his first online date and hes baffled. im not baffled, im just fed up of all the shit of it all. I cant be doing with it, ive done it for years, its not really got me anywhere, keeping at the same thing but expecting a different outcome is a sign of insanity.....

Yogagirl17 Thu 22-Nov-12 09:29:03

Hi watch u will be missed so please keep us posted every now and again.

Pixie I agree with what's already been said - "not interested in anything serious" probably means he just wants sex, either ONS or FWB. If that's what you want then by all means go for it but if you're already worried about hurt feelings that may not be for you. Be careful.

Kirsty Good luck tonight! Sounds like it could be fab. You still worried about him being a bit full on?

Lulu let us know how he replies

Personally I'm feeling pretty meh about the whole OD thing and with no job I've no way of meeting anyone new in RL. It's not the end of the world, I quite like my own company I think it would just be nice if something positive happened sometime soon. If things go on like this much longer I might have to start watching cat videos on you tube.

bantamrooster Thu 22-Nov-12 09:39:43

Morning all.

Pixie I agree with what's been said. Meet him if you want but it's not going to turn into a long term thing, so getting emotionally involved is probably going to hurt.

Watch - yeah sometimes it just seems to be an endless cycle. I'm still vaguely optimistic but don't know.. Make sure you lurk and tell us when we're being stupid, and good luck with the move.

I sent the text this morning to the Therapist. 'Morning - I enjoyed last night, it was great meeting you, and you were funny & attractive & really quite nice. I did get the impression you weren't into me though, so good luck with everything, hope you find what you want. Bant x'

So she can come back to me if she was just hiding the fact she wanted to leap over the table and rip my clothes off. But I don't think she was.

Anyway. Venezuelan on Sunday. Also had a few more winks and conversations so we'll see where they go. I won't give up yet.

watchoutforthatsnail Thu 22-Nov-12 09:52:10

You want to be careful there bant- you are in danger of becoming a dreaded serial dater.. smile
Its just it goes on and on with the same shit/ same outcome.
And before you know it you ARE a serial dater...... ( even if that was never your intention)

Yoga, i know. Its hard. Lots of people are in the same boat which is why its so popular o guess.... anyway; packing needs to happen.

Yogagirl17 Thu 22-Nov-12 09:54:12

watch "which is why its so popular I guess" - what's that, OD or cat videos??grin

watchoutforthatsnail Thu 22-Nov-12 10:06:09

Both smile

KirstyWirsty Thu 22-Nov-12 10:10:37

yoga I'm not concerned really .. If he's too full on I'll tell him and if it continues I will stop seeing him .. I am looking forward to seeing what he looks like in jeans as he's been suited and booted the last twice and all those nice muscles have been hidden under a shirt (eek!) grin

watch sounds like a break at least is in order .. Good luck with the house

pixie I'd go meet the doc .. You don't need to marry him or anything just have fun

bant let us know if she replies

lubeybooby Thu 22-Nov-12 10:14:52

Watch, good luck with everything! I'll look out for random updates

I totally agree re: OD as well btw.

Is it wrong that I have a date with with my ever reliable favourite FWB just five days after BC leaves the country?

watchoutforthatsnail Thu 22-Nov-12 10:53:10

Im not depressed with it or feeling shit. O feel fab smile
I feel great and excited and actually just very happy to just be. Which is maybe why i just cant be arsed with it?
I know it bull. It works for a tiny minority of people and i cannot be bothered sinking time and energy into something that has no positive outcome smile

Lubey- if you want to... do it smile

questions2008 Thu 22-Nov-12 10:58:09

Not at all lubey you'll need a good distraction and something to look forward to to help you feel better wink

Re serial dating - but you have to be with OD, not because you want to just be a serial dater, but because you have to meet up with looooooads of people at least once to see if there's any potential for more. And then there are all the disappearers, time-wasters and down-right crazies...but I know I wouldn't have met any of the guys I've been out with in RL, even though so far nothing has come of any of them. Most have been nice. One has been amazing and then disappeared. But hey ho.

watchoutforthatsnail Thu 22-Nov-12 11:01:08

Questions- i agree smile its just bant said serial daters were a red flag a thread or so ago.

48howdidthathappen Thu 22-Nov-12 11:10:39

Well I suppose I am not whiter than white, only went back on POF to try and get my lovely man in OZ off my mind. Not a good move. It did distract me for all of a week.

We do plan on meeting up on his return, 4 long months to go. I will tell him about my sexual encounter, he will understand, its one of the things I love about him.

I go out every week and do meet some decent men. Trouble is when I am out I just want to have a really good laugh, looking for a man is not on the agenda.

Ah well, had a dance on my coffee table to some of my favourite tracks. My mojo is restored grin

jaffacake2 Thu 22-Nov-12 11:12:06

Hi can a senior POF member join here? Probably would welcome all your advice !!
Have been on POF for 2 months,had a few dates which have been nice but no second ones. Lots of messages but then they disappear. Till 2 weeks ago met a really nice guy bit younger than me.He has gone abroad for 2 weeks back dec for work. has been txting. Bit worried that he still goes on site,do you think he is interested in me or still looking ?

questions2008 Thu 22-Nov-12 11:30:43

Hi jaffa, have you met up with him in RL? Tbh, I wouldn't expect anyone not to go back online even after one date.

jaffacake2 Thu 22-Nov-12 11:49:04

Hi yes we had 3 dates over the 2 wks before he went abroad,seemed to be going well.He said he would see me when he is back in dec.I guess insecurity getting to me,this is all fairly new for me.
Would you expect him to still be online ? But then so am I as like reading the mens diaries and chatting to a friend who I have never met in RL but is very funny.

questions2008 Thu 22-Nov-12 12:01:38

Hmmm, 3 dates in 2 weeks sounds like it's going well. This is the problem with OD I'm afraid, there will be the insecurity as you can see the other person's activity online and yet it's too early to actually talk about it without sounding like you're coming on too strong.

As you're also online then I'd wait til he comes back and see if he's serious about meeting up again. His actions when he is around will confirm whether he's stringing you along or not. I wouldn't mind if he was online still after 3 dates - as long as it wasn't taking ages to set up the next meet - basically I'd need to feel that he's as eager to see me again as I am and that he's doing something about it.

In the meantime, you should still set up a date if it presents itself, it helps you don't get too emotionally invested at this point.

jaffacake2 Thu 22-Nov-12 12:12:31

Thanks,it is very difficult not to get completely caught up with the situation.Probably doesnt help at moment as I am off sick with a chest infection so too much time to overanalyse.
So not fit to date anyone at present !!

Milkandlotsandlotsofwine Thu 22-Nov-12 12:21:26

watch Brilliant news about the house. Good luck with everything & we will miss you on the thread. Come back when you can.

Everybody sounding rather' meh' about things today. Sounds like we need to all recharge our batteries away from the blood bath arena that is OD!

But never feel overly disheartened ladies & gents & don't forgot people can be just as big a bunch of tosspots in RL! My Mr "Me and my girlfriend might be breaking up" has just put a post on fb saying "I keep fighting cos she's worth it and she means the world to me" I'm sooo close to putting a comment on saying "Apart from when you're round the house of the girl you know is in love with you telling her your girl is crazy and insane & it's probably all over between you both you mean?"angry

I won't do it clearly as I have too much dignity but my god, what a wanker badger!

Anyway, I have a cinema date with my man boy tonight so I don't care (much) blush

worldcitizen Thu 22-Nov-12 12:32:33

Pixie i agree with what's been said already, if you're also not looking for serious then why not?!

watch so happy for you!!!!

Hello to everyone.

mercury7 Thu 22-Nov-12 12:37:33

I dont use facebook but posting updates on your love life seems a bit of a 'drama queen' thing to do?

Milkandlotsandlotsofwine Thu 22-Nov-12 12:47:45

It's incredibly drama queen & also very tacky mercury

The funniest thing is he likes to bang on about what a 'private person' he is. Not at the moment apparently.

My friend just said it's like something you do at school where you're all "I love you, I hate you" and then it's all over in 3.5 weeks. grin

They've only been together 4 months. A little too early to be having to 'fight to make it work' surely? <<eyeroll>>

snapespeare Thu 22-Nov-12 12:49:18

milk I'd post exactly that and then block him.

no dating news here. might try match. might not - have far too much else going on to concentrate on dating...

had glorious dream abiout George Clooney last night. it was fab. had just curled up next to him in a smashing egyptian cotton sheeted bed and was just about to help him out of his shirt when he said, ' actually, sorry, I see you as a cool hot friend'. I doubt I could get a shag from Russell Brand at the moment as he's want to be mates. (also in the dream Voldemort was there twice. once in a doctors surgery where I'd been told I'd had a miscarriage, which is somewhat unlikely as I'm never having sex again and secondly walking past an open door when I was getting dressed to meet George Clooney who only wants to be my mate

worked out this morning, it's been three years and three months at least since I've woken up next to anyone who isn't a surly comfort-seeking teenager.

sad today. stuff with DS2 wearing me out.

pixie i wouldn't progress unless you are absolutely certain that you can enter into this as a fling with no long term prospects. having 'fun' is all very well, but if you think there is a possibility of emotional entanglement i'd stay well clear.

<waves at rest of thread> <waves at new folk especially>

Yogagirl17 Thu 22-Nov-12 12:56:26

Hi snape don't feel too bad pet, I'm sure Russell Brand would shag you.wink I'm sorry about all the stuff with DS, I have no good advice just a sympathetic ear.

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