Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Omg!!!! I've just found out

(164 Posts)
Stopthepidgeon Sat 17-Nov-12 16:15:18

Okay - so following on from my should I should I not track my cheating husband thread .....

He has taken our dc out to visit his parents - and left his computer open

I am dumbstruck to find out he has secret savings in excess of £1 million!!

This is not a stealth boast - I am in total shock

AnnaFurLact1c Tue 20-Nov-12 11:30:56

I suspect that this one could run and run.

FrankincenseWippery Tue 20-Nov-12 11:36:26

Yes Anna I agree. He seems to be something of a slippery character, fuck knows what else he's hidden. There must be more I'm sure.

GwendolineMaryLacey Tue 20-Nov-12 11:40:51

I don't know the backstory but fucking wow shock That's a shitload of secrets.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 20-Nov-12 11:51:01

Wow, just wow! shock

Apocalypto Tue 20-Nov-12 18:11:52

Assuming this isn't a wind up, the likely explanation for why he'd stash a million quid in one account is that one account is a bloody sight easier to hide than 12 accounts each with £85,000 in them.

the risk is he's fucked if the bank goes bust, but this is a lot less likely than a divorce, in which case he's going to lose 50 to 70% of it.

0.1% chance of bank going bust x £1 million = £1,000.
50% chance of a divorce (the national average) x £1million = £500,000

so what he's doing is £499,000 better for him.

therefore he has elected to hide the money and risk the bank going under and depositors not being protected.

the other 2 ways I've heard of money being hidden are casino deposits and fine wine. If he put a million quid into a casino, he could argue he then lost the lot at the tables, so even the deposit slip showing up wouldn't prove he still had it. fine wine of course you can buy and claim to have drunk.

slippery bugger, I'd watch him.

MrsOscarPistorius Tue 20-Nov-12 18:49:22

Note of caution, If this money is held in a pension fund, as it could well be, none can be withdrawn until H is ?55 I think and only max 25percent could be taken as cash, the rest would have to be used to buy an annuity.

still would be taken into account in divorce settlement so worth knowing about of course!

StillSquiffy Tue 20-Nov-12 21:15:27

Just to dampen down the excitement, if he were earning a 6-figure salary and wanted to retire on, say, £100k per annum pension, you would expect there to be a pot of around £1m by the time he reached 50. So it would make absolute sense to find an account with a £1m balance if his earning/age tied in with this.

StillSquiffy Tue 20-Nov-12 21:17:20

As a PS: every tightwad I have ever known has stuffed their pensions full to bursting (they don't have the imagination to spend it)

Anniegetyourgun Tue 20-Nov-12 21:27:12

O' course he may have come by it dishonestly, in which case the OP won't be entitled to any of it, but on the upside it should be harder for him to contest the divorce from prison.

BOFingSanta Tue 20-Nov-12 21:51:32

I don't think that anybody has said he earns a six figure salary though- I certainly would have expected the OP to mention that in the context of him moaning about her spending.

As I said earlier, I reckon even the most lackadaisical spouses would cotton on to the best part of a grand a week disappearing for twenty years.

It's all very strange.

SundaeGirl Tue 20-Nov-12 22:05:46

Hey, OP, did you speak to your solicitor? Def, def get the forensic accountant in before your H knows what's going on. Agree with all posters that you want to leave it as long as possible before he finds out you know.

And get him to commit to spending on the house. By the sounds of it you are likely to end up with the house so maybe see if you can get the roof fixed on joint cash...

Stopthepidgeon Tue 20-Nov-12 22:45:20

Nope. Not yet - I haven't spoken to a solicitor.

I'm just working on me and formalising my thoughts on everything at the moment.

I just feel like I'm in a whirlpool at the moment - actually feel very numb.

SundaeGirl Tue 20-Nov-12 22:55:07

<hugs> Take it easy on yourself. Sorry, I just re-read my post and realised it must have sounded a bit insensitive.

Money is such a massive deal, isn't it? It's not the actual money, more what it represents.

Abitwobblynow Tue 20-Nov-12 22:56:33

I am sure you are. You have been hit by two huge whammers lately.

So, how about rewinding, and telling us about you/him/your marriage and the events leading up to the FIRST slam into the bleachers? (the affair).

That might help you untangle things.

Longdistance Wed 21-Nov-12 05:36:52

stopthepigeon keep your cards close to your chest, and keep a poker face on at all times wink

Stopthepidgeon Wed 21-Nov-12 15:48:46

Update - more intrigue.

Ok - so he has popped out to collect DC from school and his computer is still on at his FB page.

Nothing untoward there - the last pm is one from me.

But. I've looked at his activity log on FB and historically he is searching the profile of another woman - lets call her FT. FT's FB account has been active since 2011 tho not much public on there from his view point.

I have never heard of FT.

Ex-OW has a different name.

I tried to search FT on my computer via my FB account and she didn't come up. I also searched using a fake FB account I made up because ex-ow has blocked me from Viewing her page but I can see her page from my fake account.

Am perplexed.

Not sure if any of the above actually makes sense - if you manage to follow this update then thankyou.

Stopthepidgeon Wed 21-Nov-12 15:49:57

... so basically My "DH" can view FTs FB account but no one else can ... Iyswim

DragonMamma Wed 21-Nov-12 16:06:50

Very strange.

Does she have a common first name? I'd be tempted to.drop the name in to conversation for something unrelated and see his reaction to the name. Obviously it her name is Falula it may prove a bit more difficult.

Could she be an ex-Ow?

ThatVikRinA22 Wed 21-Nov-12 16:24:54

i think you need to stop playing PI and really collect your thoughts on what you would like to happen from here.

he is dishonest.

he has had an affair, is now talking to other women secretly on FB and has a million stashed which you knew nothing of.

if i were you, i would be seriously contemplating my options, because i would rather make the decision to end the relationship armed with the knowledge you now have than have it ended for me somewhere down the line when he has hidden that money and found himself another mug woman.

im sorry OP but your husband isnt an honest man, do you have any sort of idea what it is you want to come from all this snooping? are you thinking of leaving?

ThatBastardSanta Wed 21-Nov-12 16:29:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GhostShip Wed 21-Nov-12 16:52:42

Thatbastard - does the OP not mean on the computer history? It would show on there

ClippedPhoenix Wed 21-Nov-12 16:56:09

I'm with Vicar on this OP. Stop it, you'll just drive yourself mad. Your time would be best served getting YOUR act together now.

JaxTellerIsMyFriend Wed 21-Nov-12 16:58:01

Get yourself to a good family lawyer and stop looking at facebook!

Stopthepidgeon Wed 21-Nov-12 17:10:40

I know it's strange. When I search a profile on my own FB account it doesn't show up.

But when viewing husbands account (as I were him). It does on his.

Yes I know - I should stop playing PI and make a path to move on ....

safflower Wed 21-Nov-12 17:14:09

i know nothing about facebook, expect that what I have heard it is nothing but trouble. BUT could FT be the OW under a different name? Could she have blocked you? or could your DH have gone on your facebook and blocked her so you cannot see?

Probably none of it.

<<<<<amateur sleuth>>>>>

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now