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Omg!!!! I've just found out

(164 Posts)
Stopthepidgeon Sat 17-Nov-12 16:15:18

Okay - so following on from my should I should I not track my cheating husband thread .....

He has taken our dc out to visit his parents - and left his computer open

I am dumbstruck to find out he has secret savings in excess of £1 million!!

This is not a stealth boast - I am in total shock

cozietoesie Sun 18-Nov-12 12:05:11

People make mistakes. It might simply be that. It's very hard for men people to maintain constant vigilance when they have a cat's cradle of falsehoods.

AlienRefluxovermypoppy Sun 18-Nov-12 12:12:24

What could he have to gain, from setting up a very believable..... what ever it was! To fool her? That sounds like a lot of work, and for what? I could understand, if it was a much less amount than OP thought, then he could be trying to pull a fast one, but a much higher amount? why?

Op honestly, he's a dishonest bastard, an affair would have done it for me, but now this when you are supposed to be making a fresh, honest start.

What are you doing to say? if anything, when he gets in?

I would be tempted to speak to my solicitor first, sad times when you have to start playing games too, but you need to start boxing clever just in case sad

Cahoots Sun 18-Nov-12 12:19:42

OP I think you need to reread the psts.

The people saying that it's odd to have money in one spot, myself included, were clear to say that it was the OP's husband that was 'odd' and not the OP. confused I thought my post was clear.

Longdistance Sun 18-Nov-12 12:20:54

Wow! Just wow!
I thought my dh was a devious tight fisted basket with 10k worth of shares tucked away, and a savings account shock

LadyFlumpalot Sun 18-Nov-12 12:28:23

Pidgeon is it in a pension account, a Wrap or a SIPP? If it is, then it could be made up of property, accounts, shares etc.

exexpat Sun 18-Nov-12 12:29:28

An 'account' doesn't just mean a bank account. You can have an online share-trading account, for example, or an account with a broker which can hold lots of different investments (shares, unit trusts, ISAs). And in that kind of case it wouldn't be at all unusual to have a large amount of money invested under the umbrella of one client account.

There is no reason at all to think the OP is lying or that her DH is 'odd', except in that he appears to have concealed a very large amount of money from his wife.

OP - I can't offer any advice except to say that getting copies of as much info as possible and stashing them somewhere safe, followed by talking to a solicitor, sounds like a good move to me.

cozietoesie Sun 18-Nov-12 12:37:05


It's usually just a case of opportunity or availability of the right sort of funds. Deception is deception whether it's £10k, £100k or more.

dreamingbohemian Sun 18-Nov-12 12:41:13

Well I certainly hope NOW you'll divorce him.

Seems quite dodgy to me, sitting on that amount of cash in a run-down house. What's he saving it for? How did he get it?

Corygal Sun 18-Nov-12 12:42:47

OP I entirely believe you. I've known it happen - this is how. DF's husband had an affair then a breakdown, for which he was hospitalised. They were trying to make a go of it. While he was in hospital, she & the adult DCs decided to help ailing dad sort out his affairs, and discovered piles of accounts with piles of cash in them.

How did he get that much money? First, from systemically lying about his publishing salary for 40 years, and banking half of it. That added up.

He was also the executor a couple of years back for his mother's estate - she'd been in care with dementia. She'd died after a short time and ended up leaving virtually all the house sale proceeds to the GC, plus various charity bequests. Relying on the normal person's tendency for reluctance to ask in these matters, he'd kept quiet and popped the whole lot into Barclays High Net Worth Individual accounts.

Both these things are terribly easy to get away with. Even worse, the will fraud carries a sentence of prison, so even if the family had smelt a rat, GM was dead & couldn't act and for the GCs, making an accusation was way too serious for them to consider.

Lavenderhoney Sun 18-Nov-12 12:54:53

I didn't disbelieve you, but was surprised he went out leaving it open. I always close everything out of habit, you see.

Does it give the name of the organisation? Then you can look them up and see what it is. Did you mange to print any screen shots with the date? Then if he does move it, a solicitor can arrange to have it tracked if he moves it and denies it.

Hide his passport too - if he is likely to do a runner... ( all eventualitiessmile

Bogeyface Sun 18-Nov-12 14:17:33

People make mistakes when they get cocky, when they have got away with whatever deception they have been carrying on with. My H, when asked if he had anything that needed washing, gave me his trousers with his secret phone in the pocket and didnt actually realise what he had done at first. Fucking idiot.

cronullansw Sun 18-Nov-12 23:53:26

Change the password, take it all, LTB.

Isn't that the default MN response?

Stopthepidgeon Mon 19-Nov-12 07:02:54

Hmmmmm interesting development.

So this morning he's banging on at me about how much I've spent on the dc's Xmas pressies. Relentlessly. As apparently he's worried about money - so he wants me to do a spreadsheet of what's been bought and how much.

I looked at him and thought for a moment.

Then said - yes of course - absolutely. In fact don't you think that's a good thing to do generally - why don't you get everything together and we can go through the household bills properly (as most couples do) and see where we are exactly with bills, savings and the like.

Amazingly - he's gone quiet on the subject.


Idlegirl83 Mon 19-Nov-12 07:12:32

What a git - banging on about presents FOR HIS CHILDREN whilst knowing he has all that money tucked away.

Complete git.

JustFabulous Mon 19-Nov-12 07:12:55


Don't do the present spreadsheet please.

Stopthepidgeon Mon 19-Nov-12 07:16:56

justfabulous - I'm not going to wink

angelpinkcar Mon 19-Nov-12 07:18:20

Hi stopthepidgeon, my H was like this with money, I once moved my own wages out of the joint account into my own account and he went ballastic, he even phoned the fraud department of the bank and was going to contact the police it was my money I had to speak to the bank in the end and make out I was daft and forgotten to tell my H. That did it for me I was astounded at his reaction when it was my money and I was so fed up with never having anything out of my own wages never seeing it. so if you touched that money be ready for the fallout and mine was a fraction of what your H has got. They all fritter it away somewhere I feel its for their new life I am afraid. I recently saw that my H has ordered an online catalogue for a new car probably when the sale of the house goes through, what a knob.

Abitwobblynow Mon 19-Nov-12 07:55:26

"I looked at him and thought for a moment.

Then said - yes of course - absolutely. In fact don't you think that's a good thing to do generally - why don't you get everything together and we can go through the household bills properly (as most couples do) and see where we are exactly with bills, savings and the like.

Amazingly - he's gone quiet on the subject. "

HA HA HA HA HAAAA! You rock!!!

Stopthepidgeon Mon 19-Nov-12 08:16:58

Thanks wobbly.


........ if its a game he wants ...... I've just re-written the rules. Less haste, as my mother always told me.

Oh yes, and slowly slowly catchy monkey .... wink

barkwithnobite Mon 19-Nov-12 09:00:20

£1m pounds!! Omg..... My nana always said 'make sure you tuck something away just in case', but £1m!!!

mcmooncup Mon 19-Nov-12 09:17:02

It just proves you are married to a liar who you cannot trust.

The amount is irrelevant. My ex lied about £40 and it revealed his entitled selfish attitude towards me in the fallout.
I hope you won't be blinded by the amount and think about what really matters, which is that he has no respect for don't deserve his faithfulness, or to know about the 'family' finances. That's a deal breaker in my book.

Bogeyface Mon 19-Nov-12 09:53:05

I agree that it isnt about the amount at all. It could be £100, its the fact that he is still being deceitful that is the issue.

He should be being more open than ever before, not less and that is the deal breaker for me. The only reason I would want proof that he has it is that there is no way I would let him hide it in order to stiff my kids.

Looksgoodingravy Mon 19-Nov-12 12:09:48

Wow! what a secret!

Stop, you are handling this so well, hats off to you, I don't think I could contain myself for this long.

What a deceitful man he is!

I wait with admiration for your next installment.

MadAboutHotChoc Mon 19-Nov-12 12:23:07

An affair and now this?

No wonder you can't trust him at all.

Good luck with your plan - really do hope things work out for you.

Dualta Mon 19-Nov-12 13:08:47

You are brilliant Pidgeon - hats off!!

What on earth is he up to??

Hope you take the info to a lawyer and secure your future as best you want it.

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