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So angry that she is "jealous"

(6 Posts)
TessTing123 Sat 17-Nov-12 10:08:42

My mother takes no interest in me. She never phones and gets huffy if I phone more than once a month. She doesn't reply to emails or photos of her grandchildren. She has yet to meet the youngest who is now 10 months old.

Mostly I feel sad but sort of resigned to this. I try not to dwell on it and just get on with life, as you do. She says that she loves me because she has to but doesn't really like me much, and she can't help that.

Her rejection is a very small part of my life, and I am very lucky to have a lovely husband and gorgeous children and a busy, fulfilling life.

However, a recent chat with my cousin has revealed that the reason my mother is so offish with me is because she is JEALOUS because I am living her life.


TessTing123 Sat 17-Nov-12 10:11:02

Oops. pressed post too soon. for some reason her feeling jealous has opened it all up again and I'm not even sure why. I am so cross with her. I ... I don't know. just argh.

and I'm venting here to no end.

Jemma1111 Sat 17-Nov-12 10:16:40

She may be your mother but she is obviously very toxic, If my mum treated me this way I would cut her out of my life

Proudnscary Sat 17-Nov-12 10:26:00

Stop the phone calls, stop the letters. You get nothing from her except feeling like you do right now.

If it was a friend who never replied to you or visited or seemed pleased to hear from you and told you she didn't even like you, would you continue contacting her?

She's actually making it easy for you, unlike some toxic parents who guilt trip and demand and worm their way in. She is saying 'leave me alone, I don't like you'.

Fine, well fuck off then.

Cut her out and live your lovely life.

FatimaLovesBread Sat 17-Nov-12 10:26:53

Jealous?! You're liong YOUR life not hers. She had te chance to live whatever life she wanted. And obviously choice to live hers being toxic and disinterested.

I think if my mum said she loved me because she had to not because she likes me, I'd cut her out.

Sorry she's brought it back, breathe and move on

Selfdoubt Sat 17-Nov-12 10:27:07

I have a mother who is also jealous. It is like everything is one big fat competition with her, and she must come out on top, or lets her sharp tongue run loose. She hates the fact that both of my DC have the same father, and that I am still with their father when myself and my siblings all have different fathers, not to mention all the "stepdads" that followed. The amount of times she has tried to split us up, or convince me to get out of our relationship for no good reason whatsoever over the last decade, I have lost count.

Another thing she hates, is that I beat her to pass my driving test. I passed it the first time, yet she has tried, and failed, 5 times and all she ever does is criticize my driving, yet everyone else says what a great driver I am (and even if I do say so myself, I am very good at driving)

I don't want to say any more (and trust me, there is soooooo much more examples I could give but I am afraid I might get outed if I do. Just wanted to say, you aren't alone. I have no advice to give though sad

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