Only been together just under 4 months. It's happening more recently but now when I think, in hindsight it happened earlier on too. One time he was telling me about work, he said something in a funny way and I laughed - he got a bit angry and said it wasn't funny and I should be supportive, not laugh at him. We'd only been together a few weeks at the time and I remember feeling it was a bit of an over-reaction. 99% of the time he's lovely though, he's funny, generous, fun to be around, loving and affectionate but I am seeing more of this snappy/grumpy side. A couple of weeks ago something came on TV about a photo editing software and I asked him what it was - he snapped "I've told you once already"
And then last week he text me the results from his doctors appointment (I'd asked him to) and he said in the text "I'll explain it better when I see you". So when I saw him on the night I asked "so, what did the doctor have to say?" he began telling me and then snapped "I have told you this already!" and he looked quite angry!
One time he'd had a few to drink, I said something which he didn't like and he got quite intimidating, raised his voice and kept asking me to repeat what i'd said. In the end I told him he was making me uncomfortable and I wanted him to calm down. He did instantly but still -
I've also noticed he gets a bit mouthy/quick to start a fight after a few drinks. One time he started an argument in a nightclub queue because someone pushed in. Another time he kicked off in a club because he said a band that was watching the band on stage were not clapping enough (!!!) and recently in Manchester someone knocked into me during a gig and he got angry and said "I can see me getting into a fight if this carries on". He made out he was joking but he says it loud enough to instigate a fight iyswim?! and then when we left the venue he started mouthing off to people selling t-shirts and stuff, again making out that he was just playing around but went as far as to call someone a tosser.
Like I said, 99% of the time he isn't like this but I'm worried that it's only been 4 months and already he's showing snippets of an aggressive side.
Am I over-reacting? Been in a violent relationship before so on high alert as it is.
4 months isn't a long time and he should still be trying to impress you and make you feel great. It also means you haven't invested as much in the relationship emotionally yet. Cut loose while it's relatively easy and congratulate yourself for noticing the signs and being strong enough to act on your instinct.
You need to reset your high alert threshold imo. You deserve better than this. Perhaps your previous experiences of an abusive partner have desensitised you to unnacceptable behaviour. Raising your own self esteem and procesing your previous experiences is more important than being in a relationship with a twunt like this.
This is how my ex started with me. Get out now. Intimidation is never acceptable, and I wish I'd kicked my ex to the kerb the first time he shouted at me (like yours, for a really inconsequential comment).
Mine also didn't like me laughing at something he said, he would get very defensive and angry, but he was allowed to take the piss out of me as much as he wanted.
Yup, bin him. And give *no quarter*: tell him he's dumped in a public place, do not answer any texts or phone calls or emails. If he is aggressive or threatening, involve the police. He may just fuck off and find another woman to abuse, but men like this, who are angry at the whole world and especially women sometimes try to push their luck.
I got to half the paragraph and thought GET RID. Nothing wrong with being a bit of a grumpy grumps occasionally but he sounds quite frankly borderline dangerous. Please listen to the advice others have given on this thread.