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Yes I've posted about it before but I brought it to a head like you told me to and this happened ...

(60 Posts)
Blink182s Fri 16-Nov-12 12:57:33

I've had a few threads about this. Boyfriend suggesting things like moving in together and me meeting his kids etc only to turn it back on me and say I'm pressuring him. You all told me to have it out with him. Well, here's what happened.

We're sat on the sofa and he says "will you marry me?"

I'm startled for a few seconds and then see that he's laughing. I've seriously had enough of these mind games so simply laughed and said "yeah, like that would work!". He then got all serious and said "what do you mean by that?? why did you say that??" so I said "well, there's a few things we need to sort out before thinking about THAT don't ya think!" and he replied "like what?"

So, deciding enough is enough I say "you know what, I'm not even going to go into it. You know what I'm on about."

He replies "are you talking about us moving in together again?" and I reply "no, something we need to organise even before that".

He says "do you mean meeting my kids?".

So I said "I'm not going to go into with you, and to be honest, I'm starting to think you enjoy messing with my head."

Now this sparks off our first argument in which he denies playing games and again accusses me of rushing him into things. I then say "you just asked me to marry you!!" and he replies "I was joking for fucks sake!"

I said "well nice to know it's all just a big laugh for you, you don't even realise what you're doing to me do you". His final words on it were "I think you need to stop taking things so seriously".

So was I in the wrong?? he made me feel like I totally over-reacted!

AnyaKnowIt Fri 16-Nov-12 13:00:10

He is a twat, leave the bastard.

He isn't going to change, he is just fucking with your head more and more

Popumpkin Fri 16-Nov-12 13:00:51

How long have you been together? TBH I don't think I'd want to stay in a relationship with someone who acts like that.

Blink182s Fri 16-Nov-12 13:02:01

I mean, you don't ask someone to marry you for a joke do you?? who even jokes about shit like that? Imagine if I'd said yes and started crying tears of joy only for him to say "err, I was joking".

DameEnidsOrange Fri 16-Nov-12 13:02:14

What Anya said.

Leave before you get any more embroiled.

This knob is not worth your time or energy

DIYapprentice Fri 16-Nov-12 13:04:30

who even jokes about shit like that?

Clearly HE does. And always, always will. Do you SERIOUSLY want to be with someone for the rest of your life who will ALWAYS mess with your mind, INTENTIONALLY????!!!!

You know what you need to do, you've been advised so many times. Why are you still with him?

BOFingSanta Fri 16-Nov-12 13:04:31

Same advice, fuck him off.

PartyFops Fri 16-Nov-12 13:04:54

Without being rude, why would you say we have to talk and then say you don't want to go into it. Surely that would just cause friction.

lubeybooby Fri 16-Nov-12 13:05:34

He's an utter weirdo. I really think his issues are just too much to bother trying to work with, and he looks like he isn't going to take your point of view seriously or respect you. So based on that I say LTB!

Magicmayhem Fri 16-Nov-12 13:07:24

no, you weren't wrong... he sounds like an arse an imature arse who's perhaps testing your reactions to things instead of having an adult conversation with you to see how you feel... if you don't like what he suggests, he can use the getout clause of I was joking. I wouldn't have let him guess what was wrong, I think I would have said along the lines of... your obviously don't realise your doing it but your 'jokes just aren't funny, and your really pissing me off, please stop doing it...
I'd also go along the lines of doing it to him... ie would you like to go and see Man U play on Saturday my friends got spare tickets... when he wets himself.. say you were joking...

how old is he, and how long have you been together

Blink182s Fri 16-Nov-12 13:07:43

Because Party, he does this. He manipulates me into a position where I'm forced to mention moving in together/meeting his kids etc and then he can turn around and say it's me pressuring him. This is what he was doing here .... he asked what we needed to sort out before we got married. Had I said "we need to discuss living together" he would have sighed and said "oh not this again!" and I would be the bunny boiler again.

Therefore, when I knew he was itching for me to say it, I knew not to - this in turn forced HIM to say it.

PoppadomPreach Fri 16-Nov-12 13:07:49

He's like a fisherman who doesn't actually want to catch the fish. He just wants to make sure it has bitten the hook and can't escape. He can then play with it for a while.

Wanker. Don't waste your time.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Fri 16-Nov-12 13:09:54

he does sound like a nob but why say you don't want to discuss it if you just brought it up for discussion?

Shakey1500 Fri 16-Nov-12 13:10:35

Agree, it would be a no-go for me.

NicholasTeakozy Fri 16-Nov-12 13:12:57

Honestly love, just bin him. He's a wanker. Let him go and be one on his own.

Anniegetyourgun Fri 16-Nov-12 13:16:08

It's only your first argument because it's the first time you've called him out seriously on it, not because bad advice has created a rift in the previously harmonious lute.

It's not you lacking a sense of humour, that's for sure. That is, you may not have one for all I know, but the fake proposal wasn't funny and frankly would be unlikely to be funny to anyone but him. (Oh, and maybe a few immature mates he might share it with. Can you picture it? "I asked the GF to marry me and she didn't know what to say... should've seen her face, ahahaha..." And the punchline is?)

It is also worth noting that when you did take things less seriously, laughing and saying it wouldn't work, suddenly he went all serious and wanted to discuss it. One can only assume it was a joke that you weren't supposed to laugh at. If that ain't messin' with your head I don't know what is.

Remind me again, what makes him worth your time?

shinyblackgrape Fri 16-Nov-12 13:16:28

He sounds seriously strange. Not seen your other threads but I would just get rid. And when you do - make it clear you're not joking!

Ahardyfool Fri 16-Nov-12 13:17:42

You haven't taken a mature approach to this at all. You have played games with all the "you know what I mean [read my mind]" guff.

You both seem a bit twatty tbh. That or highly immature.

MyLastDuchess Fri 16-Nov-12 13:19:35

Sorry OP but I agree, bin him. You could do so much better. Imagine being with someone who had the same sense of humour as you do, then his jokes would actually be amusing!

Snorbs Fri 16-Nov-12 13:19:42

Relationships shouldn't be this much hard work.

JustFabulous Fri 16-Nov-12 13:21:04

I read your title, saw it was you and just knew the outcome was his proposal.

I think you were in the wrong tbh that you just kept saying "you know what I mean" and refusing to go into it when he was sat there clearly open to talking things through with you.

I think you would be better off spending time alone, a good while, before even thinking about starting dating again.

SoleSource Fri 16-Nov-12 13:21:38

WTF is wrong with his mebtal state? Fuck all wong with you except you have tolerated this for so long hmm.

Lesson learned or are you going for the real fucked up, soul destroying damaging stuff?
Get rid. Tell him you want to spkit up next time you see him. Then laugh and say only joking. Then look all serious and say nah I mean this, you think your're it but you're shit.

Bye yoy little dicked loser.

Cut contact totally.

Win win

Then tberapy as you do not want to repeat tbe patterns.

waltermittymissus Fri 16-Nov-12 13:22:48

Seriously you've taken enough shit by now don't you think?

Leave. The. Bastard.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 16-Nov-12 13:23:12

What a tosser... The rule with 'jokes' is don't dish it out if you can't take it back.

Inertia Fri 16-Nov-12 13:25:56

Honestly, why are you even bothering ? Having a boyfriend is meant to be fun. Do you really want to spend your whole life with a man who acts like a 13 year old?

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