Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Am I overthinking things (texts!)

(7 Posts)
PinkNPretty Fri 16-Nov-12 11:13:06

My boyfriend goes through phases of sending me really sweet texts to sending my one line blunt texts.

For the past few weeks he's been lovely. He's text me every morning with something like "morning darling, how are you today? looking forward to seeing you tonight xxxx" etc and then again at lunch time "Hows your day going sweetheart? xxxx" and if we're not together on the night time, he texts me all night too.

This morning I receive a text simply saying "shall we go to * on saturday?"

No good morning, no kisses, nothing.

I reply as my usual self, complete with kisses etc and he replies two hours later with "ok" .

I hate this hot/cold texting business. Experience tells me his texts will be like this for the next few weeks now hmm what's the point?

ClippedPhoenix Fri 16-Nov-12 11:20:01

What's he like when you're together? Does he blow hot and cold? If not then stop reading too much into it.

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 16-Nov-12 11:20:36

How long have yuo been together?.

Why can't he actually speak to you on the phone instead of using it to send you a series of text messages?.

Why use text at all, surely you both should be whispering sweet nothings to each other on the phone.

You write that experience tells you his texts will be like this for the next few weeks; you mean he has done this behaviour before?.

Him blowing hot and cold like this is not a good sign.

Dahlen Fri 16-Nov-12 11:26:40

I think how long you've been together is very relevant.

I disagree that you have to communicate by phone, as I hate it personally. Text is much more convenient and allows you to keep the conversation going while doing other things, whereas a phonecall requires total concentration.

My texts vary from essays to one liners, depending on what I'm doing at the time, although I am careful with tone as I'm aware of how easily messages can be misread.

However, if the change in style is symptomatic of a hot and cold style in general, then you'll have problems. What's he like in other ways? That's your best guide as to whether you're seeing problems that aren't there or if you're genuinely picking up game-playing techniques.

funnypeculiar Fri 16-Nov-12 11:32:07

Honestly? If everything else in the relationship seems fine, I wouldn't give two hoots if he'd bothered to sign off with xxs or not.

Is this a pattern of general behaviour (lovely dovey for weeks, then quiet/off you for weeks) or just a text issue?

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Fri 16-Nov-12 11:56:24

I don't really get why it's a problem TBH, as long as everything else is ok. Nice loved up texts are nice to get when they're spontaneous and genuinely meant. If you're starting to enforce numbers of kisses etc then you're basically just asking for lip service to a standard that may have nothing to do with what the relationship is actually like.

akaemmafrost Fri 16-Nov-12 12:18:16

He probably just thought of the idea for Saturday and sent it immediately, not realising he needed to make it flowery I don't really think there's much to worry about here.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: