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My perfect DH has just

(59 Posts)
wavesandsneezes Fri 16-Nov-12 00:50:33

Totally freaked me out. Started necking bottles of wine and saying that he had disappeared and the whispering voices wanted him to drink more. I grabbed the bottles I could find and he tried to wrestle them off me. Finally he took himself to bed and I came to check on him. He said he was going to be sick so I grabbed the nearest thing which was the cats litter tray. All cleaned up now, but I am so very sad. I feel like I have just seen him become every man i was so pleased to escape, and that my perfect DH has a monster inside him.

recall Fri 16-Nov-12 01:35:40

that is very unnerving, to see your husband become a stranger, scary.

Thelifeofpie Fri 16-Nov-12 01:37:23

Explain what happened to the ooh GP when they call and take it from there. I know its scary but its good that he is sleeping.

wavesandsneezes Fri 16-Nov-12 01:37:41

Anyway, I need to try to get some sleep to get the Dcs up for
School in the morning. Hoping the doctor phones soon and will hopefully get some help in the morning. At least he seems sound asleep now

izzyizin Fri 16-Nov-12 01:40:49

3 bottles of el vino is sufficient to get the average size individual more than well ratted.

Sounds like he's overdosed on alcohol but, as he's thrown up a couple of times, it's unlikely the little green men will coming out of the walls tonight.

In case 'Dave' fancies another round, I suggest you hide any remaining tempting tipple and let him sleep it off.

If nature takes its usual course, he'll have the mother of all hangovers when he wakes later today but copious cups of java and a fry up will serve to remedy that condition.

FatimaLovesBread Fri 16-Nov-12 01:42:46

I'm confused, did the drinking follow him saying he was hearing voices, or did he drink all the wine and then start with ramblings?

What had he been doing earlier in the evening?

I hope the doctors phone soon and you can get some rest, it doesn't sound like a nice experience but at least he's managing to sleep

MakeItALarge Fri 16-Nov-12 01:42:56

Try not to worry too much, it is possible to get in this state just through alcohol. Hopefully in the morning he will feel like a prize idiot but give him some time to recover before discussing what happened, and if he needs any help.

WheatenFarlo Fri 16-Nov-12 01:44:51

I hope the GP phones soon and this all gets sorted soon waves, it sounds very scary for you. You are doing just the right thing taking it seriously and calling the doctors. I hope everything will be just fine for you.

wavesandsneezes Fri 16-Nov-12 01:50:24

All is very well hidden and I am going to insist on him seeing a doctor tomorrow because tonight has scared me so much, not just personally but for the DCs and for him too. Still not quite believing this has happened though as we are text book perfect usually. Hoping it was either a stupid drunken episode or that he can access some proper help

ChippingInLovesAutumn Fri 16-Nov-12 01:52:11

How long have you been together?

Has the Dr rung yet?

There's no ifs or maybe's about this - he needs help. He has terrified you and he can't be allowed to do that again.

<big hug>

boomting Fri 16-Nov-12 02:03:06

It's not normal for that to happen following binge drinking, but alcohol affects everyone in different ways. There's a fair chance that he will wake up tomorrow and be fine, but I agree that a medical professional does need to see him to pass their opinion this evening, because if nothing else he's scared you and it's out of the ordinary. I hope the OOH GP phones soon.

Have you ever seen him this drunk before and have there been any other things that have struck you as 'odd' at all lately?

Finally, I presume he's lying on his side, ideally in the recovery position - otherwise he could choke on his own vomit.

wavesandsneezes Fri 16-Nov-12 02:16:05

Still awake and still waiting for the doctor to call. He is on his side ( being a st johns cadet paid off I guess). It sounds so silly but just today I was worrying about tv at bedtime for the Dcs and now this happens. I will let you know what the doc says

ChippingInLovesAutumn Fri 16-Nov-12 02:24:05

TV at bedtime - bad bad BAD habit! They just learn to stay awake longer and longer. TV off at a given time, bit of bedtime reading, then sleep.

<A bit of distraction therapy grin>

izzyizin Fri 16-Nov-12 02:30:48

Sounds like you should practice that particular distraction therapy on your dh at bedtime - and veto any bedtime drinks grin

If he's sleeping the comatose sleep of the rat-arsed just, there's not a lot of point in getting a medic out to raise one of his eyelids and pronounce him pissed.

I suggest you get back to whatever service you called, tell them there's no need for a call tonight and you'll follow through with his GP tomorrow - and then get yourself some much needed zzzzz's.

DaveMccave Fri 16-Nov-12 02:55:40

What izzy said.

I am intrigued as to why he drank such a lot of wine, when you say he doesn't normally drink, what triggered the drinking in the first place? Could it be the same thing that has triggered whatever this episode was? It's an awful lot to drink in the middle of the week.

Damash12 Fri 16-Nov-12 04:10:25

I hope you are ok. I would certainly get help first thing. I am not medically trained but this sounds like some kind of breakdown. Is he under any kind of stress? Can your children go anywhere to stay for a night or two while you get this sorted? Take care of yourself too.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Fri 16-Nov-12 05:53:05

Just found this thread. Hope you are ok, waves

Can you update at all? Did the doctor call? Gas your husband resurfaced? Did you manage to rest?

Thinking of you.

wavesandsneezes Fri 16-Nov-12 08:54:12

Morning all, and thanks for the support last night. DH woke up this morning completely oblivious to what happened last night. With a hangover from hell, although back to "himself" as opposed to "Dave". So, no-one came out last night, and he has gone to work. I still really, really want him to see a doctor because he was just pretty scary last night.

The past few months have been pretty stressful - we moved house and have masses of renovation to do. Sounds pretty trivial, but a mate was meant to plumb in the bathroom, and let DH pick him up from work and then announced half way back that he couldn't do it today actually but cheers for the lift confused So, he was really annoyed about that, as it is the second time he has let us down. And, I've been off work all week with a horrible chest infection, which he reckons made me pretty irritable. We did have a bit of an argument about money - both skint til pay day following the house move and initial expenses. Then he just sort of snapped and I caught him pretty much downing a bottle of wine. We usually have a glass of wine with tea, but this was well out of character.

He doesn't remember anything, the horrible things he said, and has vowed to stop drinking. I don't think that is the answer though, he clearly has a lot of worries at the moment that he needs to find a way to express. We had a little chat this morning before the school run, and I think that he is getting sad about his birthday coming up next month, as it represents almost half a lifetime of being without his dad.

Oh, and I got about 2 hours sleep as I was so worried about him being sick and choking to death so I am shattered. Being ill and sleep deprived is a killer, so hoping to get a bit more sleep this morning.

scentednappyhag Fri 16-Nov-12 09:01:40

Glad you're ok waves, still sounds like her could do with a gp visit though, hearing voices needs to be checked out sad
Hope today isn't to traumatic for you being so tired!

MakeItALarge Fri 16-Nov-12 09:23:16

Glad things are better this morning wave.

I think you need to sit down and have a proper chat with him, first find out if theres any underlying problems and second make it clear you are not impressed with his behaviour and it cannot happen again and he needs to grovel and spoil you for a few days after you cleaned up his sick

Offred Fri 16-Nov-12 10:36:20

I don't believe anybody is perfect or that any relationship is, could this be one of the reasons behind the breakdown last night? I'm glad it seems to just have been the drink though.

Offred Fri 16-Nov-12 10:37:45

I mean if he is trying to be perfect all the time...

Orchidlady Fri 16-Nov-12 11:02:02

Wave how unsettling and scarey for you last night. My DP started doing this a couple of years ago and actually had a complete breakdown. He was hearing voices, telling him to do bad things to himself, swiging wine like he was dying of thirst.I think I am a strong person but this really freaked me out. By the sounds of things your DH was scared and was using drink to calm down. He really needs to how serious this is and seek help, it can so spiral out of control, trust me. It is unlikely this is a one off, he may well have been hearing voices before but has not told you. My DP last episode was triggered by a financial crisis. To this day if he gets stressed he will start hearing the voices again but I/we recognise the signs and put coping mechanisms in place.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles Fri 16-Nov-12 12:39:56

I don't believe anybody is perfect or that any relationship is

I took waves' use of 'perfect' to be a turn of phrase; to illustrate that this is totally out of character rather than a pressured ideal of perfection. Waves mentioned a slight argument earlier on that evening. I don't think she is under any illusion that her husband is without any minor faults but this is a different category.

waves I'm slightly worried about him going to work this morning- did he drive? He couldn't have been competent or legal.

I agree with orchid that this is more than the drink. Sorry, waves.

wavesandsneezes Fri 16-Nov-12 15:08:01

Hi kitty , we are very lucky in that we both live within walking distance of our respective offices, so he walked to work as usual which is good. He came home at lunchtime and we had a cup of tea and cuddles and a chat.

We have got a lot of stresses at the moment, but he has vowed to avoid drink completely for now as, whatever the underlying issues, the drink certainly made things spiral out of control.

And offred DH has always idolised me a lot bit, and wants to do everything just right, even the tiling of the bathroom is being done like a complete masterpiece. So yes, I think maybe it has been a bit of a build up. I understand completely where he is coming from as I have had major MH issues in the past, which I have pretty much sorted after YEARS of counselling, therapy etc.

He has promised to speak to his GP next week - he is feeling down about his dad dying - it happened when he was only 17 and was very sudden, and I think it has hit him that his next birthday will represent almost half of his life time without his dad.

MakeIt DH has decided that he will have a night off tiling, and will spend the evening just being with me. He has even said he will be chief tea maker all weekend. Cleaning up his sick was horrible, as was hearing him shout at me the way he did.

Hoping for a more relaxed weekend, with less focus on getting "stuff" done on the house, and being calm and together and having some quality time with the children. And no wine!

homeaway Fri 16-Nov-12 15:19:45

Sounds like you both need a bit of a break, try and have a relaxing weekend and get out and have some fresh air together with the kids. It is amazing how much you can talk about when you walk.

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