I have name changed but it will probably sound familiar to those who thankfully answered.
Have a dilemma similar to a thread that's going on at the moment with a DH and work colleague. When I first posted, I was unsure as to what was going on with my DH. So as not to drip feed... has been working away last 18 months, works v.v long hours, back as and when he can, is often so tired just falls asleep at w.ends he's off. During this time I notice DH changing - new wardrobe, more conscious of how he looks, smells etc., dropping random things into conversations.
So....I have a look at phone etc, nothing personal but it does seem he has a new friend! One text late at night (shift work so not unusual) and he has used personal money for things not just for new (female) friend but male ones too but he uses money gets it back but it never goes back into account. Doesn't tell me what for but his money and I don't have to ask him if I do the same IFYSWIM.
Anyway, after months of me looking at him in a strange new way - I decided to ask what was going on. After, much talking and shouting (from me I'm ashamed to say), he has used money on not just her but others then gets cash from them.
My point to him was - if I had texted a man from work (about work but late at night easy for anyone to get wrong idea), had shiny new friend that expected me to use family money etc and then not told him - would he not be mightily p**d off or at the least embarrassed that other people might see it in a different way?
His answer was 'why would I tell you 'X' when to be honest I hadn't even thought about it?' And that he's exactly the same to her as anybody else in office. He then went on to pull funny face and said seriously, she stinks of alcohol first thing of a morning, every morning - he said it's the office joke and why would he want to look at her or anyone else.
He's late thirties - she's early twenties and seems to like a lot of male attention! I pointed this out to him (as if I needed to) I thought she could be a bit like TUlisalover if anyone read that thread!
My question is how can I believe a word he says or even begin to respect him in any way when he refuses to acknowledge that his actions can so easily be misconstrued?
I don't think affair - she's engaged and he's not Brad Pitt (although he does have company credit card) but he's better than Brad for me! And I do love him (just feel like he's not admitting he's been a knob and just not cared or not even realised)
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Wise miners........I need your help....sorry could be long!
12 replies
Itwasntmemum · 14/11/2012 10:42
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