I want to keep this short so apologies if this comes across a little blunt and to the point but also a little disjointed as I dont want to drip feed.
I have a 5yr old DD and I'm no longer with her father. She spends weeknights and every third weekend with him, and the rest of the weekends (2 out of 3) with me. We also split school holidays 50/50.
I'm also in a long distance relationship and things are going well between us. We've been together just over a year and are now thinking that we'd like to live together. I can't uproot my DD to move nearer him, my exH would never allow it (we're talking about a 4 hour drive sort of distance). So we've been talking about the possibility of him moving here to be with me.
DP and I work in the same industry and where I live there are very, very few jobs. I was lucky to find the one I currently have. Whereas nearer DP career prospects are much much better. I know he's worried that he would effectively be limited to one company (where I work) or else he'd have to take a pay cut or retrain if he moved here.
Just yesterday I was headhunted for a very good job within a very good company, near to where DP works. I know I won't get that job, but it has really made me (and DP) start to think about the future and how things will pan out. I'm still young and I know that if I could move to where the jobs are I could do very well. I do enjoy my current job, but I'm underpaid and there's little scope for moving if my next payrise request is turned down.
The other issue is that I was young when I met my exH and had my daughter (in my teens). He was a little older and very controlling. We moved from where I grew up (where my DP lives and where all the jobs are) to where my exH's family all live. I feel trapped here now that we've split as although I understandably want to be near my DD, all my family are far away and I feel very alone.
I don't know what advice I'm asking for really but I feel very confused with conflicting emotions and very few people to talk this through with. My mother passed away so I can't ask her for advice, although I have a feeling she would want me to make the most of my life and be the best I can be. But whether that means focusing on my DD or my career, I'm not too sure.
Thank you for reading and if anyone has any advice (or just a friendly 'hi') I would be so so grateful.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Young child, ex-husband, long distance relationship and career
DilemmaaEmma · 13/11/2012 22:20
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.