Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

PMT or lazy ass DP?

(23 Posts)
coolmango Tue 13-Nov-12 13:49:02

DP acted like a complete turd yesterday and I'm still furious at him today.

DPs niece 24 was staying over so DP had the day off work, (he normally works away mon-fri). I was up at 6.30am to walk the dog then get DD2 ready for nursery. DP finally got out of bed at 8.20am to give me a lift to work.

I got a text at lunchtime asking where MY gift card for the local shopping centre was as he wanted to get some new clothes. DP was miffed as I had no idea but gave him a few suggestions of where to look. DP couldn't be bothered to actually search for it but went shopping with his niece anyway.

I have quite a demanding job and when DP offered to pick me up from work I was really pleased with his thoughtfulness.

As soon as I get in the car DP asks me what I'm making for dinner as he is starving and tired from walking around the shopping centre for 2 hours!

When I pointed out that I had been at work all day and he should be the one cooking he was surprised and said he wanted to spend time with his niece. He wouldn't be able to do that if he was making dinner for 3 adults and 2 children.

By the time I had gone to the supermarket, made dinner and cleaned the house it was 8.30pm. DP then promptly went to the gym for a couple of hours which blows his feeble excuse about not making dinner out of the water.

I am so annoyed with him and must be PMTing because I am furious today and can't even be bothered to text / ring him at work.

MyLastDuchess Tue 13-Nov-12 13:51:16

Tired from walking round the shopping centre? That honestly made me snort with laughter.

Poor diddums!

Dahlen Tue 13-Nov-12 13:51:59

You are not PMTing. He's being a twat. HTH wink

Anniegetyourgun Tue 13-Nov-12 13:55:21

All this and nicking your gift card too angry He's probably got into bad habits through living in hotels most of the week, and mistakes your house for another of the same. Time for a few home truths I think.

ThereGoesTheYear Tue 13-Nov-12 13:58:52

He's a lazy ass DP.

pollyblue Tue 13-Nov-12 13:58:56

If his niece is 24, she would've been capable of helping him make dinner surely.......Is he usually so hopeless and helpless, or was it a genuine one-off? If it's the former then yes, he's an arse <bangs gavel>

coolmango Tue 13-Nov-12 14:00:08

He knows I am furious because I told him he was taking the piss later that night. I got a grovelling phone call this morning but just can't shake this feeling of pure rage at him.

MyLast i also snorted with laughter when he mentioned he was tired from walking around the shopping centre. He looked puzzled as to what I was laughing at.

MouMouCow Tue 13-Nov-12 14:01:38

Hear Hear Annie! OP you need to have a frank chat with that man, his behaviour is outrageous. He treats you with complete contempt and has no respect for you, your feelings, or tiredness and he's a selfish twat. Sit him down and tell him so much, me thinks...

DragonMamma Tue 13-Nov-12 14:13:45

I'd be fuming.

When DH isn't working, I expect everything to be split down the middle. If he had a day off and I worked and he didn't cook dinner I'd probably throw something at his head.

surfingbabies Tue 13-Nov-12 14:19:12

My DP is a lazy sod so I know how u feel but he's taking the pee.......does he always behave like this or is it out of character?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 13-Nov-12 14:21:51

Yes he is a lazy ass and only remotely PMT if that stands for Putting Myself Third behind (i) your DP and (ii) his lazy ass.

starving and exhausted from walking around the shopping centre for 2 hours indeed hmm .

coolmango Tue 13-Nov-12 14:23:25

MouMou In fairness DP is incredibly generous, loving and thoughtful most of the time. he just has the odd moment where he behaves like an idiot.

In these 'moments' I always explain why I am hacked off at him. DP usually hasn't even realised he has done something wrong.

pollyblue DP stated he was a fantastic chef when we first started dating. I think this may have come back to bite him in the ass. The one and only time I have known him cook in the last year was when he made pasta and mash for the kids. He was mortified when I burst into hysterics, although the kids thought it was great???

coolmango Tue 13-Nov-12 14:34:57

I should point out that I am at home with a stomach bug today and feel like rubbish which doesn't help.

Crinkle77 Tue 13-Nov-12 14:37:29

A better solution would have been to gt a takeaway then you could all have sat down together and chatted

EuroShagmore Tue 13-Nov-12 14:46:19

He was being a tvvat.

COCKadoodledooo Tue 13-Nov-12 14:46:22

He's a twat. And why did you cook anyway? No way I would have done. Assumptions are the one thing guaranteed to cause a row in this house.

digerd Tue 13-Nov-12 15:12:15

Sorry to admit I laughed - at him being such a lazy, stupd, selfish "child-man". It was as if he was talking to his mum. He is ridiculous. You are not BU. He is, to the extreme.
But you are right about his inability to see he has done anything wrong and it is that aggrevating deep rooted Male Pride thing. Or perhaps he just thinks you are a "super women" type, with so much more energy than he has.
" 2 hours walking round the shops made him tired and starving" compared with your hours at work, and" what are you doing for dinner" - hillariously choice. I laughed at that the most. Think I must have heard something similar from my dad to my mother. My dad adored mum, but he was spoilt rotten by his mum.

coolmango Tue 13-Nov-12 21:42:20

digerd DP does not necessarily deserve a man bashing and he does adore me. DP has admitted that he does think I'm super woman, mainly because I don't allow him to do anything the wrong way around the house except clean the bathroom.

Having spoken to him tonight, he is genuinely sorry and admitted he just didn't think. He has stated he has some serious making up to do, but to be honest he is generally a fantastic partner and friend.

I may milk it though as the Xmas season is here and I need new shoes!

suburbophobe Tue 13-Nov-12 21:48:40

He's using you and doesn't respect you.

You know that, don't you...?

coolmango Tue 13-Nov-12 21:51:18

Crinkle77 I had to reply so I could admit my own failings.

I was hoping DP would suggest a takeaway but, being too tight to get one out of my meagre earnings I expected DP to know this telepathically.

Now I know that he does not receive my thoughts or cotton on to major hinting I will just tell him what he has to do.

I have found this has worked for walking the dog, putting his dirty laundry in the basket instead of on the floor and going to get me a McD's breakfast after a night out.

suburbophobe Tue 13-Nov-12 21:51:37

...and if you are using him for a new pair of shoes for Xmas, well, you are using him too.

O.k. if you are both using each other, why whinge?...

coolmango Tue 13-Nov-12 22:00:54

suburbophobe I was very peed off when I wrote the post. I don't think that one shitty day compared to a lot of great ones constitutes a complete man bashing.

I needed to vent. DP has apologised and we shall go on our merry way.

Yes he was being a turd, but to say he is using me over 1 non-cooked dinner is a bit extreme.

coolmango Tue 13-Nov-12 22:01:46

suburbophobe tongue in cheek!?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: