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Family feud

(77 Posts)
xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 02:33:05

I am the only girl in my family, 4 brothers.

2 of whom i speak to the other 2 i wont.

Happened a while ago due to me being with my exp and treating my mum and dad 'like shit' my brothers gf took it upon herself to say i was in the wrong and even had ago saying how many men i have sex with(its far less than her)

Anyway fast foward a few months, im pregnant and i left my exp cos hes a manchild! I still havent spoken to brother neither his gf since she messaged me. I started arguing with my other brother, we clash a lot.......... He started saying this, he was far worse than what i have done.

On my mums birthday went out for the day 2 out 4 didnt bother as normal, it was a very long day and i said to my mum in the kitchen im going to bed so please done be to fucking loud and smiled. She said okay, then my brother called me twat and hell broke lose. I lost my temper.

His gf smirked in my face and said get the fuck out the house. Asking where my exp was saying hes no where to be seen, baby being a bastard, basically being a bitch. She said dont start on me. If i wasnt pregnant i would of punched her sqaure in the face(sorry!!) BTW its my parents home i pay rent each week without fail.

Then my brother, her partner calls me a slag. This point my mum walked out and i had 2 fully grown men shouting abuse at me. I asked why i was a slag he did not reply. They all went home, mums birthday spoilt.

They deleted my mum off facebook which i think is very cruel as they had the problem with me.

My mum and dad was in a serious car accident. NEITHER rung and asked how they was. I was doing everything for my mum and dad. I was 26w at the time, i even got rushed to hospital be because of a series water infection.

I mean its mostly about my mum as its her children not mine and they do this. If anything happened to either she would do it.

After a year fued with one after he called my mum 'a fucking bint' in town. She helped him move into a flat and he does this?

I feel so helpless, i mean will my mum ever stop enough is enough?

Sorry for the long post.

BooyhooRemembering Tue 13-Nov-12 02:43:36

when is your episode being broadcast?

xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 02:51:19

sad i wanted advice not sniggery comments.

BooyhooRemembering Tue 13-Nov-12 02:55:59

ok. what part of all that do you want advice on? tbh i'd say your family sound pretty explosive and agressive. do you want to be living there? could you move out? are you as bad as them?

xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 03:03:43

Im the only one that lives here.

My mum is very disheartend that they are not coming for christmas, i overheard her crying a few nights ago. Saying she missed them. I forgot to put that in PP.

No im not as bad as them far from it, im the youngest and my brothers are all older than me.

I want them to make contact with my mum but i dont think they will, if you know what i mean. I should just leave it but my mum rarely crys, ive seen her twice cry in my life!

BooyhooRemembering Tue 13-Nov-12 03:09:03

if it was me, i wouldn't be getting in touch with them. one of them at least has treated her appallingly, (i cant make out from your OP if both of them have). i would just support my mum in whatever she wanted to do. if she wants to contact them then let her if not then support her. it will be hard for her not to have them there but TBH they sound vile and i would not want them around me at xmas.

BooyhooRemembering Tue 13-Nov-12 03:11:41

and btw, telling your mum "not to be too fucking loud" isn't exactly angelic. why do you swear at her?

xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 03:17:51

They are vile, but i dont seem to grasp why they are not talking to my mum? Even though i wont ever talk to them again. I find it sad for my mum.

I swear quite a lot, i dont mean no harm i just say it and sometimes dont think i have swore. Mum understands never taken offence.

BooyhooRemembering Tue 13-Nov-12 03:19:52

maybe they think she's taken your side in whatever the argument was. what was the argument over? do you all just not like each other or did something actually happen to trigger it? what did you mean when you say you treated your mum like shit?

BooyhooRemembering Tue 13-Nov-12 03:28:06

and can i just add that if you swear alot yourself and expect people not to take offence then i dont think you get to hold other people swearing at you against them. either swearing is ok or it's not. it cant be ok for you to do but not ok for others to do to you.

xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 03:31:00

By not speaking to my mum everyday.. I am very close to my parents i moved in with my exp very quickly first love and now im 34w with his child.

No i think my gf has issues with me and my other brother. I am quite blunt to people around me e.g parents. My mum asked if she looked okay once and she didnt the top was to tight. I told her saying maybe a different its abit clingy at the sides, she said infront of my mum dont call her fat. She is very outspoken in our house. I find it quite rude if im honest.

The family isnt the best really, we always argue but this is just OTT. I dont give a shit about them. 1 brother who called my mum names, said to my other brother i wish my baby died in the car crash. So im never talking to him again.

I really dont understand why my family are like this? I mean they are my blood but they treat me so coldy?

I also think this is do with me being pregnant, thinking my mum and dad do everything for me including wiping my arse. I admit when i was younger i maybe got a little more as i was a girl but the time we moved into this house 2 brothers had already left.

xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 03:32:28

I agree, i swore in the coversation, but calling me twat directly to me is a bit different than e.g for fuck sake.

xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 03:33:00

*my brothers gf

BooyhooRemembering Tue 13-Nov-12 03:46:43

ok firstly, why are your family like this? because they are allowed to be. by you, by your parents, by each other. it seems you all speak to each other quite disrespectfully. and as hard as this may be to hear, i dont for one second believe that you didn't call your brother's girlfriend names when she did it to you. you ALL seem very immature and aggressive. this is ingrained patterns of behaviour and if you dont want it to carry on YOU have to make a change. you cannot change anyone else's behaviour. it is not possible. you can only change your own behaviour and how your respond to verbal attacks from other people. also, you said you lost your temper, this is also something you can control so that you dont end up in a childish jeremy kyle style slanging match. learn how to control your temper and walk away from anyone who tries to get you to snap back at them. remember that you have a baby joining you in this life very soon and babies learn very quickly about behaviour and what is acceptable. you dont want you baby learning that it is acceptable for it to speak to you the way your brothers and their GFs do. in your shoes i wouldn't be around them. if that meant leaving the room when they come to the house then i'd do it. if they become abusive to you, walk away. if they become threatening, call the police. this might not be what your family normally do but that is why their (and yours if i'm honest) has carried on and why you found yoruself alone in a kitchen being verbally attacked by 2 grown men. you need to set boundaries and set consequences for what happens when they cross those boundaries.

as for your mum. you can't make any decisions for her. and your brothers may not get in touch. she might just have to accept that they dont want to be involved with her.

also, make sure you aren't taking more than you are contributing to your parent's household. that way no-one can accuse you of having your arse wiped for you. be an adult and you will be treated like an adult.

xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 04:02:18

You may not believe me, but i didnt say ANYTHING until my brother called me a slag. I was in the kitchen drinking while they where shouting things at me. No way would i call my brothers gf a slag, its very degrading word.

I lost my temper but i didnt show it to them, my blood was boiling. I do have anger issues, due the way i was treated and i tend to lash out on people who try to help/get into my head. No-one else's fault, my mum and dad understand this but the others dont. I will get very moody sometimes, i dont like male presents unless its my dad or 2 brothers. Way my ex treated me wasn't very nice. Why i am so angry i guess.

Im a lot calmer now, this happened a few months ago. It was playing on my mind after i heard my mum cry.

I do everything apart from hover, i cant physically do it. But thats what they think. Im living here off mum and dad. Free food and rent. My mum does my washing and ironing i do her hair(im a hairdresser) thats a good enough deal grin

FellatioNelson Tue 13-Nov-12 04:05:21

The only one I feel remotely sorry for is your mother. It sounds a bit like she is bullied by all of you. She sounds like she is torn between loving you all and is heartbroken that you cannot all get along. you ALL sound like a bunch of aggressive, spoilt, entitled idiots who have sibling rivalry issues and terrible manners.

BooyhooRemembering Tue 13-Nov-12 04:06:57

sorry, i'm confused. are you saying you dont pay for food or rent and that your mum does your washing and ironing in exchange for haircuts?

FellatioNelson Tue 13-Nov-12 04:13:03

Well unless you cut her hair daily that's not a terrible good deal. She must have very short hair. hmm

xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 04:14:09

I pay all rent,food,gas, bills etc. They all think my brothers i dont pay my way, but i do..

She does my washing and ironing i cut her hair and colour it which i pay for the foils colour etc when she wants it done(quite alot she hates roots)

I agree sad we are all bad as each other. This is why i posted and was very honest. I dont know what do to?

I dont want to upset her futher..

xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 04:15:29

I rarely go out too, so she does maybe 1 load a week for me. I also buy the powder and liquid for all 3 of us...

FellatioNelson Tue 13-Nov-12 04:16:07

It sounds as though (just guessing) you may always have been considered the 'problem child' and your brothers are sick and tired of seeing you bailed out of one disaster after another by your parents, who keep rushing to your aid/defence thereby delaying you standing on your own two feet and taking responsibility for your own cock-ups. Am I getting warm?

I am not saying this is how you are - I don't know you well enough to say that. I am merely saying that it is my best guess that your siblings perceive you that way. Based on what you have said.

BooyhooRemembering Tue 13-Nov-12 04:16:13

stop being part of the problem. by not taking part in the squabbles.

xmasevebundle Tue 13-Nov-12 04:23:56

No, i have ADHD and i few problems around 13 due to my nan dying(i watched her, it did effect me very bad sunk into depression) since then everyone changed towards me.

Out of all 5 children. Me and brother are the only children with professions. One is mentally ill, one is just a bum, the other well just an idoit.

I am the only child to stay longer than 18, all the rest got kicked out due to drinking and arguments with my mum and dad.

I do feel very sorry for my mum and dad as we all put them through shit, its taken me to get pregnant and wise up to notice it.

I am a very kind person, i dont like name calling or anyway being belitted. It brings back my exp. I get jugded this way as when i do go abit loopy and have my bad day, thats the thing they pick at.

sonofzod Tue 13-Nov-12 04:57:02

I think you and your brothers all need to take a look at yourselfs and think of how disresepctful ALL of you are being.. forget about the 'he said she said' arguments, your all adults ffs..

your all being unreasonable in your behaviours towards your parents..

FellatioNelson Tue 13-Nov-12 05:11:25

How old are you now OP?

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