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6 months in...are these normalish and I am being too picky?

(146 Posts)
scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 18:50:41

Hello All,

I read here alot, have name changed for this as slightly scared of answers

I have been seeing someone for just over 6 months, and for me we hit crunch time this week and I'm thinking of leaving, just wanted others opinion if possible.

All been ok, been on 2 long holidays etc and see every weekend however a week ago my mum who lives a long way away said she would be over at end of Dec and wanted to meet him, so I asked him, he lives half an hour away and said o might be too tired as its a monday, i got the message and said ok fine will tell her you are too busy. However was annoyed and all the things I am unsure about have reared their ugly head...

1) He is incredibly tight, so much so that his friends take the mick, and hates going out

2) he eats at his parents every night so as to save cooking and prefers me round latish so he can eat first, his mum also does all his washing and ironing..he is 50

3) He farts now continually, didn't used to and thinks its hilarious

4) Like some kind of tourette syndrome he keeps saying fcuking c@@t under his breath apropos of nothing when we are out??

5) calls his boss female a slag and a c@@t and says she slept her way to top and wants him and i should be lucky he has morals??

6) A bit shorter than me and I'm average height and wears huge built up shoes so he can hardly walk, I hate this, I don't care about the height

7) obsessed with anal sex??? WTF

8) Slightly controlling and bossy and hates me drinking or looking at other guys, I don't realise I have looked till he makes a comment, I'm normally just looking into space I think

9) Ok just read these and they sound awful, he can be lovely, good company, and fun, but I'm getting irritated now hugely, yes been asked to meet his parents and I would never say o no too tired as its in week

Any ideas

FlorentinePogen Thu 15-Nov-12 10:03:43

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Thu 15-Nov-12 09:55:49

If he doesn't want to meet your mum then I hate to say it but it doesn't sound like his hearts in it.
As for the other stuff, that just adds to how quick you should be running

digerd Thu 15-Nov-12 09:40:21

Love your last sentence - made me laugh on this dreary foggy morning and watching Jeremy Kyle

CindySherman Thu 15-Nov-12 09:11:13

grin and warn all our girlfriends to avoid !

riveroise Thu 15-Nov-12 08:04:17

Yea, tell us so we can avoid!

CindySherman Thu 15-Nov-12 07:58:45

Where on earth did you meet him OP?

FlorentinePogen Thu 15-Nov-12 06:20:14

Christ on a bike shock.........(In a Mrs. Merton stylee..) "Scraping, , what attracted you to the tight-fisted, free-loading, farting, sweary, misogynistic, built-up shoe wearing, butthole surfing, control freak millionaire in the first place ?"


tabbycat15 Thu 15-Nov-12 04:51:33

God he sounds awful, find someone else.

ThePathanKhansWitch Wed 14-Nov-12 22:00:47

he was lovely at the start

What start? Conception? grin

Sounds like a man only his mother could love. Great escape for you.

olgaga Wed 14-Nov-12 21:40:03

Ok apologies OP hope you have found the support you needed! You have a whole life ahead of you - make it yours.

scrapingbottom Wed 14-Nov-12 16:34:07


I am fine, thanks for all your messages.

No really wasn't a wind up I'm afraid.

hotcrossbun99 Wed 14-Nov-12 15:32:23

I'm surprised you lasted 6 months to be honest. I think he's using you in the same way he's using his mum. Yuck.

helpyourself Wed 14-Nov-12 12:00:28

Hope you're well op. thanks

redadmiralsinthegarden Wed 14-Nov-12 09:55:48

how are you doing, OP? haven't heard from you for a while.
Hopefully you are busy doing young, free and single things wink

DinosaursOnASpaceship Wed 14-Nov-12 09:25:26

If it wasnt for the age difference I would be pmming you to ask if we had the same ex shock glad you ended it.

pictish Wed 14-Nov-12 09:16:00

Thank God - he sounds quite horrendous. Good for you OP.

WineGoggles Wed 14-Nov-12 09:14:12

"The built up shoes.. I am imagining an old, ugly Tom Cruise"
LOL. Did he look like this OP?

ZombieOnABicycle Wed 14-Nov-12 09:07:35

I'm with Annie - age aside most of those points describe my ex husband - not sure why I was with him for 8 years.

He also had the platform shoes (and serious height issues), and in a fit of jealousy one night went through my wardrobe and burnt every shoe I owned with a heal (no matter how small)

Anniegetyourgun Tue 13-Nov-12 21:26:48

Erm, I married somebody who wasn't a million miles from this description, so I do believe the OP. blush

TDada Tue 13-Nov-12 20:21:58

This must be a joke

ChicMama25 Tue 13-Nov-12 20:09:49

The built up shoes.. I am imagining an old, ugly Tom Cruise

LordLurkin Tue 13-Nov-12 20:07:46

So lets get this right.

1) He is unbelievably tight. Probs will never take you out and will leach off of you for all its worth.

2) At 50 years old dosent cook and wash his own clothes even though he lives away from his parents. Not much needs saying here tbh, but he sounds like the kind of man would expect a partner to wait on him hand and foot.

3)The whole farting thing. Just silly and juvenile.

4) Continuous muttering of "fucking cunt" while out. Just who is he actualy insulting, and if he thinks random people are cunts then what level of opinion is reserved for those close to him after a disagreement?

5) Female boss is a slag and cunt who got there by sleeping with people and wants him bad. So he dislikes women being a success and thinks that its only possible for her to have got there by using sex? And he lives in a fantasy realm where he thinks he is some kind of addonis like sex god.

6) The whole built up shoe and hight thing. He has issues with his hight and feels threatened that you as a woman are taller than him?

7) Obsessed with anal sex. Has boundary issues and a lack of respect for you and your body?

8) Controlling bossy and hates you letting your hair down and is paranoid that you are eyeing up other men. BOSSY AND CONTROLLING = RUN!

Put this man down to experience and get out before he becomes even more of a royal PITA. This bloke is an utter tool im afraid and is never going to be good in the long term.

olgaga Tue 13-Nov-12 18:47:08

Come on! This has got to be a wind-up right?

Please tell me it's a wind-up. Please...

WakeyCakey Tue 13-Nov-12 18:35:47

I have been having a bit of a giggle reading all this. Such a breath of fresh air to know the bastard has been left.
Don't think I will ever stop laughing at his built up shoes. grin
Glad you did it OP, you can name change now to
'NoOneIsScrapingMyBottoNow' wink

ZombieOnABicycle Tue 13-Nov-12 13:17:36

Well done for getting rid - you should be so proud of yourself.

Take some time to focus on yourself so you don't end up with someone like him again.

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