Can?t sleep and need to get this off my chest. I started it under another thread but didn?t want to hijack so here?s the story again.
Split from XH at new year after I discovered his affair. Pattern since then has been we try to be civilised for a while then I say something he misinterprets or that just doesn't suit him and he turns into a bully. He attacks me or just flat out ignores me for days or even weeks. Followed by profuse apologies. Over and over again. 


Last straw was over a month ago. DD has a big event coming up in March that I really would have liked to plan together. In fact he sent the first message to me saying 'we really must work together on this.' But once he realised I was on board he changed his tune - rebuffed all my requests to discuss it, agreed to a meeting then cancelled it at the last minute. Said he was going to handle it all and there was nothing to discuss. I finally decided, for my own sanity, and for DD's sake, not to fight with him and just let him do it. I even handed over all the research & ideas I already had. It just wasn't worth the fight.


Today, over a month after we last talked about it, he sent me an email saying please can we discuss it!!!! (He's either realised it's too much hard work or doesn't want to look bad by excluding me). I've been really good at not engaging in any battles with him for a while now but feel this is maybe too big to ignore. So I sent him this:
?No, I really don't think we can. Based on your past behaviour I do not trust you to behave rationally and respectfully towards me for any length of time. But feel free to use the information I gave you if you want it. Or don't. I'm sure you and [xxxx] will figure it out. Good luck.?
And this is his reply:
?It is my hope that you might feel, as I do, that it is tough but possible for us to put aside the way we have both behaved at times and the things we have both said in anger and haste. If we are exactly never going to be friends again, we can at least try to look to the future rather than the past and behave in a civil and respectful way towards each other for the benefit of . This is what they want and need from us and I am fully committed to doing exactly that. DD and I don?t want to do it without you?but I can?t force you..?
Arghh!!!! He is so fucking infurating. This is what he does every bloody time. He acts the complete TWAT then when I say I?ve had enough, he goes all?.surely we can work together but if YOU don?t want to?..
Please, please, please can someone tell me how the hell you deal with someone like that? I have thought of several responses ? ?Keep telling yourself that long enough you might even believe it? or ?The boy who cried wolf rings a bell? or just ?Fuck off and go to hell you lying son of a bitch?!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
F*cking XH does it again...just need to get it off my chest
Yogagirl17 · 12/11/2012 01:34
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.