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ex with' borderline narsisstic personality disorder? BNPD

(14 Posts)
yummymommy1 Mon 12-Nov-12 00:08:43

... as i now see, and had it all along. plus uses parental alienation with DD .anyone had experience of this? he's also an alcoholic on/off. has made it impossible to go to mediation so courts next.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 12-Nov-12 07:26:43

Let's hope the court recognises that his behaviour is unreasonable and saves your DD having to have any further contact. Have you got a good lawyer?

yummymommy1 Tue 13-Nov-12 23:52:10

yes am just getting evidence for legal aid, well ,good? not sure , she is a trainee and i already dont agree with some advise she gave ( to not pursue residency order yet as if ex doesnt return Dd i can get her back with a court order ?!)

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 14-Nov-12 07:18:50

You don't have to go along with what your lawyer advises if you disagree with it.

weegiemum Wed 14-Nov-12 07:27:45

I've not followed all your threads, so am wondering if there is a psychiatric diagnosis in place or not? If this can be backed up by a psychiatrist or senior clinical psychologist then the chances of you getting the controls you need for your dd's safety and security put in place will be much better.

Out of interest, is it BPD or NPD or both you are talking about. They are ptrtty different, and there are quite a few excellent mums on this site who have BPD and are in treatment or through therapy and coping well with children and family life, including myself.

HissyByName Wed 14-Nov-12 07:28:07

Get a solicitor you are confident in. This will be the mother ofall fights, you need a rottweiler, not a labradoodle.

Latara Wed 14-Nov-12 19:03:36

BPD & NPD are totally separate conditions.

I have Epilepsy, BPD & major depressive disorder with psychosis - fun!

But i spend a lot of time worrying about & caring for friends & relatives - something a Narcissist just doesn't do.

BPD & NPD have nothing in common.

Btw Psychosis & Psychopath are totally completely different too.

& why should BPD stop a person from being a good parent??!!

Latara Wed 14-Nov-12 19:04:06

weegiemum is correct.

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 14-Nov-12 19:11:33

I was also wondering if there was any proper diagnosis from a pyschiatrist?.

You need a highly skilled solicitor, not a trainee who he could too easily run rings around.

This man is going to make life as difficult as possible for you at every turn as punishment for you leaving him.

JaceyBee Wed 14-Nov-12 19:38:20

I'm a mental health professional and train organisations on working with personality disorder and I have never heard of BNPD, are you sure this is correct? Both borderline and narcissistic are 'cluster B' personality disorders in the DSM, and it may be possible to be dx'd with both I guess but it's not typically done. And like others have said, a dx of PD doesn't mean you can't be a good parent or a fully functioning member of society, (despite what you read on here where you'd think they were the devils spawn.)

yummymommy1 Wed 14-Nov-12 19:47:33

hi yes, i agree. thats exactly what he wants to do, and there was no way it could ever really be any different as what he wants involves me giving up all my power to him which i simply cant do anymore.

no , no diagnosis, but his sister thinks he has BNPD, im not sure which it is yet. It doesnt stop him being a dad but it does make it hard to be around him as he critiscises alot, among other things.And the main issue is he thinks he's god, everyone else is at fault; and would never consider that its him with problems too.

yes, im considering getting another solicitor, but at the moment i havent got time as he may be trying to come at here the weekend and i have a toddler to look after.

im amazed how cold a solicitor can be, and how little patience she has. I have had to change my mind 3/4 times over the next step we take, due to ex changing and she has got annoyed , saying she may not be able to represent me if that continues.surely this happens alot at this stage?

izzyizin Wed 14-Nov-12 20:02:58

Stop creating new threads - it's dissipating your resources and obscuring the crux of the matter for responders on this board.

Your dd is under threat of abduction and you're 'considering' getting another solicitor? shock

Take the advice previously given to contact your nearest Women's Aid offices as a matter of urgency or phone the national helpline which is available 24/7 and start getting your act together to protect your dd by keeping him at bay.

And stop making excuses for your inaction. You can't NOT have time because you 'have a toddler to look after' - she's not stopping you yakking away to guys on POF so you can phone accredited advice lines and take her with you to appointments.

cestlavielife Wed 14-Nov-12 23:32:07

Focus on hard facts eg police cautions he has received or verifiable diagnosis not your sister,s views which count for nothing in court

Has he ever seen a psychiatrist? Been admitted to hospital psych unit?

Latara Thu 15-Nov-12 11:24:46

Your ex does not sound like a person with BPD.

There is NO such illness / disorder as BNPD at all!

He sounds potentially dangerous so that's all you should focus on.

Btw i'm disgusted that people seem to think that personality disorders like BPD are an 'excuse' to take full or partial custody from a parent.
This is NOT the Victorian times ffs.

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