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After relationship break down, when's best to talk?

(5 Posts)
Ahardyfool Sun 11-Nov-12 16:57:16

I have another thread about my relationship breaking down this weekend after a traumatic week involving problems at school with DS, resignation from work and other crap stuff.

I told my DP I couldn't do us and all this stuff in a moment devoid of any wisdom or rationality whatsoever and he has sadly taken me at my word and isn't in touch apparently also having made plans for alternative accommodation.

I've been a pretty crap DP for a while, tbh. I think this was all he needed, though I know he loved me immensely. I've just not been as affectionate as I should have been or am usually and I see why he's left. I have been under a lot of pressure for months and it turned me away from being the girlfriend I once was.

Anyway, I need to talk to him and acknowledge all the above and see where that leaves us. Many of my plans will be dependent upon our future as a family, though I accept I will ultimately have to cater for either view on things from him. So, whilst the final decision (if I can hope that may not have been fully made) is pressing, when might be a good time to speak in this way?

I will be job seeking actively as of tomorrow and my choices will be affected by the lack of or otherwise of his presence in our lives. However, I do not wish to pressurise him. I am desperate also to know if he has gone for good.

He is inclined to be quite rash when hurt, angry or upset but equally he has every right to feel he really does want to walk away.

I must add, we have had wonderful times together too and recently and I have supported him in some big life decisions of late which has been appreciated so I doubt he views me as a total witch on balance.

Ahardyfool Sun 11-Nov-12 22:36:41

Oh well, tried calling this evening but he didn't answer. Too soon then I guess.

mameulah Sun 11-Nov-12 22:47:32

You need to give him time. Why don't you write him a letter?

Ahardyfool Sun 11-Nov-12 23:06:25

I just worry too many plans will be made if I don't speak soon. Male friend advised calling sooner rather than later so I did. I may well write instead though but would prefer face to face or phone.

mameulah Mon 12-Nov-12 10:58:24

Writing is a start though and will help you work out what you really need to say. Good Luck!

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