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I don't know what to do, I cannot cope with all of this

(187 Posts)
SantasStrapOn Sun 11-Nov-12 01:51:33

S'me Stratters. I cba to name change and you'd all guess it was me anyway.

I have nobody but my DDs. No family. My family are v v toxic and I was the scapegoat. No friends. I cant bring myself to trust anyone enough. Apart from the DDs, and people like the dentist, my GP, the only people I 'talk' to are my XPILs and my XH. I don't leave the house, I am terrified of everyone and everything, and I have no trust. This time last year I wasn't quite so bad, but it's steadily got worse and worse.

ATOS, in their wisdom, decided that I was perfectly ok. They lied and said that I went on my own (I didn't), and put the opposite of what I said down. I was interviewed by a physiotherapist FGS. I appealed and was told I wouldn't get a tribunal for 18 months. That was in March.

I filled in the paperwork. Made it very clear that it was impossible for me to represent myself, told them i had noone who could attend for me, told them the real version of what happened in my interview. Told my GP what had happened. Went to see my old Psychiatrist, who I've seen on and off since having DD2. I'm having fortnightly counselling but have only just started. I know I need to sort this out, but it's so hard without any support. I have nobody to ask to represent me, and nobody has offered to.

I planned to get a letter from my psychiatrist and counsellor, and send it as supporting evidence. I spoke to the DWP, who said it was clearly a mistake and not to worry.

Today I got a letter from the tribunal service in Peterborough. The appeal was held on the 9th. I had no forewarning that it was going to take place then. Nobody told me.

My appeal has failed. I have no fucking idea what to do next, and I can't cope with even thinking about it. I have never felt so alone and helpless.

rhondajean Mon 12-Nov-12 14:19:27

Grr last post didn't work . I'm about to email friend. Could you confirm what appeal was for. I'm assuming dla? But could be wrong.

No rush stratters she's not in office to collect email til tomorrow and pm me if you want x

SantasStrapOn Mon 12-Nov-12 14:45:20

Hi rhonda, I really appreciate this, it was for old style Incapacity Benefit, I got the higher level, if that's relevant.

GP appointment on Thursday morning <gulp>

NicholasTeakozy Mon 12-Nov-12 15:53:25

Hello luffly Stratters, I echo those that say look up Black Triangle and DPAC. Also, if you're on the Twitters follow @suey2y to get advice from her (the wonderful Sue Marsh).

Sorry I can't help more. sad

rhondajean Mon 12-Nov-12 16:27:45

Email sent. I should be able to let you know her advice tomorrow.

Be careful with that staple gun. I once stapled my thumbs together, and that was just with a stapler grin

Pancakeflipper Mon 12-Nov-12 17:06:32

You will be fine on Thurs Stratters, might be worth writing down ( use this thread) what you want to cover with the GP. So if you get there, sit down and get mind blank then you can hand over a sheet of paper for them to read.

SantasStrapOn Mon 12-Nov-12 17:29:13

Thank you again. I can't believe how fantastic you are all, and so helpful. I feel a lot better today, found a tiny bit of my fight hiding under the sofa. smile

flyoverthegoldenhill Mon 12-Nov-12 17:52:30

right Stratters now staple it to your arse smile

SantasStrapOn Mon 12-Nov-12 18:26:30

Stapled it to my forehead.

<bumps into wall>

flyoverthegoldenhill Mon 12-Nov-12 18:39:00

there was a reason I said arse grin

rhondajean Mon 12-Nov-12 19:54:59

Stratters my lovely pal has got right back to me even though she's not in the office.

She hays you need to write straight away to the tribunal firstly and request a set aside. She has offered to email me a draft letter tomorrow and if you won't to give me an email address I will send it on to you.

She also says if your GP says your condition has worsened and gives you a sick note you can reapply now for ESA which is the replacement for IB.

Is that any help?

SantasStrapOn Mon 12-Nov-12 20:46:28

Masses! Masses of help, thank you so much, and thank you to your friend too.

When I've won this fight, I'm going to get campaigning, this needs stopping and I might not have had any help prior, but I feel so enabled with Mumsnet behind me.

Will pm you now.

ettiketti Mon 12-Nov-12 21:02:43

I'm so glad some more helpful people could offer proper help smile I'm totally up for real life offer of company/physical help tho. I'm just a bit further up north on the coast(quite literally brrrrrrr) just shout!

SantasStrapOn Mon 12-Nov-12 21:07:43

Thank you etti.

S'cold tonight, and misty. I hate this time of year here, the fog rolls in and it's really creepy.

BumpInTheNightFuglies Mon 12-Nov-12 21:21:36

Not nice, Santa, know what you mean.
<hand> x

ettiketti Mon 12-Nov-12 21:28:27

It is creepy when you can see it creeping across the beach and down the street! I love hearing the fog horns tho!

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Mon 12-Nov-12 21:46:43

I don't have any relevant knowledge but just wanted to offer a manly pat on the back and some wine.

duende Mon 12-Nov-12 22:10:10

Stratters, i love reading your posts, you're funny and clever.. I'm sorry you're going through this shit but it's great to see the power of MN again, you'll get through it!

Thumbwitch Mon 12-Nov-12 22:32:45

Just wanted to offer Rhonda thanks for being such a superstar with help for Stratters. And wine.

rhondajean Mon 12-Nov-12 22:45:37

Aww thank you - thoroughly undeserved though! It's all my lovely friend - I'm just passing on info.

Thumbwitch Mon 12-Nov-12 22:49:44

Not at all, Rhonda - you have taken the trouble to contact your friend and do the necessary info passing - well deserved, I'd say. smile Have another one! thanks

Teabagtights Mon 12-Nov-12 22:54:45

Glad you are feeling more up beat today. I did pm you and tell you you could reapply as it was 18 months since you went to atos.

perfumedlife Mon 12-Nov-12 22:58:26

Stratters I can't help with the ATOSers situation but I want you to have a read of some of the links below. If you are on thyroxine, there's a massive chance your aggrophobia, anxiety and depression are a result of how shitty that medicine really is. I'm sure your GP will tell you your levels are normal but that means diddly I'm afraid. I've been where you are. If you are seeing your GP tomorrow, do me a favour and get a print out of your most recent blood results (thyroid) with the reference ranges. You are entitled to a copy, or to jot them down off the screen. x

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 12-Nov-12 23:01:08

stratters i had no idea. best of luck with the appeal etc and also giving you a gentle punch on the arm and proffers wine

you will get through this.

BelleDameSousMistletoe Mon 12-Nov-12 23:09:46

Lots of hugs, Stratters...

Also, re the Citalopram, may be worth considering Cipralex as it has fewer side effects.

BastardSpiders Mon 12-Nov-12 23:18:15

I fucking hate ATOS. angry I honestly believe that their aim is to try and ensure that as few people as possible receive incapacity benefits.

I know someone who has very severe and complex mental illnesses, and who therefore struggles even to get through the day without harming herself or worse. She has been sectioned several times and is on some pretty heavy meds, but was initially deemed fit for work!! She won on appeal but had a real fight on her hands to do so. angry

How DARE they hold your appeal without even informing you!! Is that even legal?

I am going to fire off another letter to my MP about my disgust over all of this.

Good luck OP.

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