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I don't know what to do, I cannot cope with all of this

(187 Posts)
SantasStrapOn Sun 11-Nov-12 01:51:33

S'me Stratters. I cba to name change and you'd all guess it was me anyway.

I have nobody but my DDs. No family. My family are v v toxic and I was the scapegoat. No friends. I cant bring myself to trust anyone enough. Apart from the DDs, and people like the dentist, my GP, the only people I 'talk' to are my XPILs and my XH. I don't leave the house, I am terrified of everyone and everything, and I have no trust. This time last year I wasn't quite so bad, but it's steadily got worse and worse.

ATOS, in their wisdom, decided that I was perfectly ok. They lied and said that I went on my own (I didn't), and put the opposite of what I said down. I was interviewed by a physiotherapist FGS. I appealed and was told I wouldn't get a tribunal for 18 months. That was in March.

I filled in the paperwork. Made it very clear that it was impossible for me to represent myself, told them i had noone who could attend for me, told them the real version of what happened in my interview. Told my GP what had happened. Went to see my old Psychiatrist, who I've seen on and off since having DD2. I'm having fortnightly counselling but have only just started. I know I need to sort this out, but it's so hard without any support. I have nobody to ask to represent me, and nobody has offered to.

I planned to get a letter from my psychiatrist and counsellor, and send it as supporting evidence. I spoke to the DWP, who said it was clearly a mistake and not to worry.

Today I got a letter from the tribunal service in Peterborough. The appeal was held on the 9th. I had no forewarning that it was going to take place then. Nobody told me.

My appeal has failed. I have no fucking idea what to do next, and I can't cope with even thinking about it. I have never felt so alone and helpless.

NeedToSleepZZZ Sun 11-Nov-12 08:31:40

So sorry Stratters, I have nothing to offer but a hand to hold and some empathy as ATOS moved me to the WRG and I have what sounds like a very similar illness. I am waiting the result of the tribunal. The DWP are supporting my appeal but the government just wants to get the figures down sad

MerlotforOne Sun 11-Nov-12 09:03:47

Sorry to hear you are going through this, bloody ATOS has a lot to answer for angry.

Your GP can still provide you with a sick note either a) for a different condition (eg if you were previously on the sick with 'depression' they could change it to 'anxiety and agoraphobia') or b) for a worsening of your original condition ('severe depression'). This is the case even if this appeal decision stands, and basically resets the whole process to the beginning - which is not as good as winning an appeal and having the whole thing go away, but would at least buy you some breathing space.

If your GP is on side, this should not be a problem. If they aren't, try seeing a different Dr at the practice - the receptionists should be able to tell you who to see if you want someone gentle and sympathetic.

CinnabarRed Sun 11-Nov-12 09:07:25

Have you tried posting in the Legal or Employment sections? Happy to repost for you if not.


I don't have any practical advice to add but am thinking if you.


JuliaScurr Sun 11-Nov-12 09:19:59

Keith Ordinary Guy

My sister has been Atos-ed and has sent the appeal forms off but has no access to advocacy or doesn't know of any in West London where she lives. CAB are down to handing out leaflets. Can anyone give offer any advice on where she can go or to whom? Thank you. Keith.

Like · · Follow post · Friday at 16:43 near Bath, England

Hermann St.John likes this..

View all 25 comments..

Commonly Known As Maglite

Disability & Benefits Support - Don't Go Alone. (Formerly Support & Escort)

Support & accompaniment to WCA appointments

557 members · Join Group

Friday at 18:21 · Like · 1..

Mark Giblin Keith, get her to speak to the law society in her area and seek out a solicitors that does welfare benefits claims and appeals. They should still qualify under the legal aid scheme.

Friday at 18:22 · Like · 1..

Commonly Known As Maglite that ^^^^^^^ group will go with someone so they dont have to go alone ,,, THIS group below has welfare advisors to fill forms in DO not fill forms in yourself


that's not copied at all well, but hopefully still helpful

JuliaScurr Sun 11-Nov-12 09:21:46

^ from fb Disabled People against the Cuts

tallwivglasses Sun 11-Nov-12 09:46:30

So sorry to hear you're going through this. There's a Facebook page and possibly a website as well called 'atos miracles' (so named because they can seemingly 'cure' disabled people...).

tallwivglasses Sun 11-Nov-12 09:47:26

Sorry, posted too early. Lots of advice on there about tribunals, complaining, etc. good luck x

southdevondelight Sun 11-Nov-12 10:43:26

Stratters, have sent PM. No need to respond, just wanted to say a couple of things smile

Pinot Sun 11-Nov-12 12:49:55

Oh my god, Stratters, darling. Darling, darling.

Come to FB lair xx

NeedToSleepZZZ Sun 11-Nov-12 13:54:56

Just thought of something that may be of use!

DWP told me to contact my local MP, they have more power to intervene so maybe you could look into calling him/ her?

TobyLerone Sun 11-Nov-12 14:21:16

Just handholding from me. I know nothing about any of this. My mum is a psych nurse, though, and if there's anything I can ask her on your behalf, let me know.

BeerTricksPott3r Sun 11-Nov-12 14:30:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChooChooLaverne Sun 11-Nov-12 14:44:07

You poor thing. I know you don't know me from Adam, but I really feel for you.

I know nothing about ATOS which sounds absolutely shit so I can't give any advice on that.

But I do know about anxiety and I just wanted to let you know that you do have hope and you can get better, even if everything seems hopeless at the moment.

RudolphUcker Sun 11-Nov-12 14:51:25

Stratts, come and chat on the FA lovely. I have very little in the way of knowledge for this thread, but I can hold hands there.

Teabagtights Sun 11-Nov-12 14:51:35

Appeal again if you can.

When you go to these appointments insist on seeing a doctor only not a nurse practitioner. I refused to see one after they said I was fit to work with the same illness you have. I appealed though and won.

The points they listed you got no points for or low points list them write your account of how things actually are against them.

When you go for these appointments make it your worse day ever go in your pjs, fiddle with your keys, don't make eye contact, don't brush your hair, whatever they ask give worse case scenario even if its a good day.

I never went out other than to walk my dog for three years. It's partial agoraphobia.

Never admit you bath or brush your teeth. Say the kids eat out the microwave.

I know it's hard I've been there, I'm sorry this happened to you.

BetsyBlingtastic Sun 11-Nov-12 14:57:43

Does your household insurance offer free legal advice over the phone?

Hope you get this sorted out soon. xx

puds11 Sun 11-Nov-12 14:59:43

Hi stratters, i'm so sorry your going through this (((hugs)))

Have you thought of re posting this in mental health as well? Ive had some good advice there.

Remember you are not alone smile

RudolphUcker Sun 11-Nov-12 15:01:43

Strattpott, could you start here? Give them a call and see?

Teabagtights Sun 11-Nov-12 15:04:30

I'm sure stratters can now say her condition has worsened. It's been 18 months she can start again it might be the easiest option for her mental health.

SantasStrapOn Sun 11-Nov-12 16:21:05

Hi everyone, thank you for your help, and all your lovely messages, I really don't know what I'd do without Mumsnet.

I'm going to go to my GP tomorrow, I feel so let down, nobody has helped me at all even when I've asked for help. Nobody told me I could ask to be re-assessed by a doctor, nobody told me I could get a professional to represent me. I've just been left to flounder in the dark, and being me I've hidden my head in the sand and not coped with it at all.

The fucking idiot who assessed me actually told me I needed Lithium, or similar. And then proceeded to say I had nothing wrong with me. I did have points, I had 12 I think, and I think I need 16.

It's ridiculous, it's actually making me so much worse, I can cope day to day just fine provided I can stay in my little Strattersbubble and don't have shit like this flung at me. I wish there was a way to fight ATOS themselves, someone needs to start a campaign against them. sad

SantasStrapOn Sun 11-Nov-12 16:21:54

Oh and Umbridge, the Mouldies thread doesn't matter whatsoever. If I wanted to hide, my lovely, I wouldn't put photos on my profile. Please don't feel bad.

Pancakeflipper Sun 11-Nov-12 16:39:22

I am just another one holding my hand out. Cannot help but I know anxiety is mentally and physically crippling. Don't look at the full big picture. Just start chipping away at it daily. I know it's hard to be proactive but perhaps a plan of action might help you to focus so your mind doesn't get fuzzy with panic?

Pleased you are seeing the GP tomorrow. No more trying to put a brave face on it. They need to see how badly you are suffering.

Hand holding, butter dishes and matching aprons.

BeerTricksPott3r Sun 11-Nov-12 16:39:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoffinMum Sun 11-Nov-12 17:16:21

One thing I did when the NHS messed up was to create a grid and list each date, contact name and error, along with each consequence. I them sent it to my MP as well as the hospital complaints people. Stuff happened behind the scenes very rapidly after that. Worth a try?

Concentrateonthegood Sun 11-Nov-12 17:33:11

Stratters, I can't believe what I read. I dip in and out of threads and always enjoyed reading your wit and commentary without realising that you have a personal hell. Like others, I've no practical advice for you but just wanted to send support and hope you get the real life support that you need. Best wishes to you.

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