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I don't know what to do, I cannot cope with all of this

(187 Posts)
SantasStrapOn Sun 11-Nov-12 01:51:33

S'me Stratters. I cba to name change and you'd all guess it was me anyway.

I have nobody but my DDs. No family. My family are v v toxic and I was the scapegoat. No friends. I cant bring myself to trust anyone enough. Apart from the DDs, and people like the dentist, my GP, the only people I 'talk' to are my XPILs and my XH. I don't leave the house, I am terrified of everyone and everything, and I have no trust. This time last year I wasn't quite so bad, but it's steadily got worse and worse.

ATOS, in their wisdom, decided that I was perfectly ok. They lied and said that I went on my own (I didn't), and put the opposite of what I said down. I was interviewed by a physiotherapist FGS. I appealed and was told I wouldn't get a tribunal for 18 months. That was in March.

I filled in the paperwork. Made it very clear that it was impossible for me to represent myself, told them i had noone who could attend for me, told them the real version of what happened in my interview. Told my GP what had happened. Went to see my old Psychiatrist, who I've seen on and off since having DD2. I'm having fortnightly counselling but have only just started. I know I need to sort this out, but it's so hard without any support. I have nobody to ask to represent me, and nobody has offered to.

I planned to get a letter from my psychiatrist and counsellor, and send it as supporting evidence. I spoke to the DWP, who said it was clearly a mistake and not to worry.

Today I got a letter from the tribunal service in Peterborough. The appeal was held on the 9th. I had no forewarning that it was going to take place then. Nobody told me.

My appeal has failed. I have no fucking idea what to do next, and I can't cope with even thinking about it. I have never felt so alone and helpless.

Selks Sun 11-Nov-12 01:54:16

Could you speak to someone at Mind for advice?

Selks Sun 11-Nov-12 01:55:09

Sorry brief answer as am on phone. So sorry you're going through this. sad

SantasStrapOn Sun 11-Nov-12 01:58:58

I don't know Selks. Nobody has given me any advice, even when I've asked. I wish I'd asked on here when I first found out, but I didn't want anyone knowing IYSWIM. Now it's too late, and I've realised I don't care if you all know anyway.

I simply have no idea what to do.

Selks Sun 11-Nov-12 02:28:58

Well I guess nothing's going to get sorted out tonight so hard as it is, best to try not to churn it over in your mind overnight. I'd suggest trying to sleep and bump the thread tomorrow for daytime folks who might be able to offer more advice than I can.
I'll check in here tomorrow - hope you can sleep x

MyUmbrageIsSafeInMyKnickers Sun 11-Nov-12 02:36:12

I also have absolutely no one Santa. I don't understand your acronyms ATOS et al. Woild you just give me a bit of background?

mumblechum1 Sun 11-Nov-12 02:43:54

ATOS is, I think, the organisation which disabled/unwell people have to convince that they're incapable of looking for work/working.

But I don't know the OP's background or the nature of her inability to work.

Hope you get everything sorted out OP, sounds like a nightmare.

SantasStrapOn Sun 11-Nov-12 02:50:33

Anxiety, panic attacks, and terrible, terrible depression. I basically don't go out, I'm not even comfortable in my front garden, unless I've got someone with me. The only place I feel safe is inside my house and my back garden. I can do the drs, dentists, etc because they are safe, known places and I don't have to talk to strangers. I take 40mg citalopram, just come down from 60 because they can't prescribe it any more, 100mg seroquel xl, thyroxine, and a shed load for asthma.

Thumbwitch Sun 11-Nov-12 02:59:10

Shit, Stratters! sad

I don't know anything useful sadly but surely they should have told you about the appeal date? There must be some way to "get" them for that but I wouldn't know what.

((((hugs)))) anyway lovely. thanks

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz Sun 11-Nov-12 03:05:54

(((Hugs))) Stratters.

Fuck. I'll ponder for a bit and get back to you if anything pops into my head.

MyUmbrageIsSafeInMyKnickers Sun 11-Nov-12 03:06:14

Santa; many years ago I suffered similar; the whole world and his dog was against me.
I have outed you (I now realise , on the Mouldies thread). I am Tim but Dim.

WandaDoff Sun 11-Nov-12 03:12:43

Citizens Advice Bureau appt at the 1st opp you can get my love. Make sure that they know that you weren't informed of your referral date.

Ask for a mental health referral if need be. Name the psych that you have been dealing with for years.

& keep your chin up for God's sake because this is all transient meaningless shite.

Much love x

SantasStrapOn Sun 11-Nov-12 03:27:24

Thank you.

I have no idea what the Mouldiest thread is, but it really doesn't matter.

Trazzletoes Sun 11-Nov-12 03:33:04

Definitely have a chat with the CAB. Alternatively, can you get a free half hour with a Legal Aid Welfare Benefits solicitor? They may well be able to point you in the right direction.

WandaDoff Sun 11-Nov-12 03:38:20

Agree with Trazzletoes there.

Free legal advice is always worth it just for the opinion.

MyUmbrageIsSafeInMyKnickers Sun 11-Nov-12 03:38:30

First thing is to do nothing at the moment.
Tomorrow; gather all paperwork; the whole shit bundle.
Look at it; feel the fear;: let it sink in and then just walk away from the whole pile. Two hours minimum.
Then..Pick up a highlighter; highlight the dates only in the shit pile. Force yourself to not read the content.. and then walk away again.

I can't help again until late Tuesday night. But I will.

SantasStrapOn Sun 11-Nov-12 03:42:51

Thank you, I've necked some sleeping pills so hopefully they will kick in soon. Appreciate the hand holding, will be back for more in the morning.

WandaDoff Sun 11-Nov-12 03:50:08

<<handy holdy stratters>> x

McPhee Sun 11-Nov-12 03:50:44

I'm afraid I can't be of much use, other than to say have a look/post on here for some advice.

Hugs to you, this is really shit x

Selks Sun 11-Nov-12 06:10:49

Here to hold hands too.

Some CABs will do home visits, if you decide you need CAB help.

cannotseeaway Sun 11-Nov-12 06:35:40

Definitely get some legal help, i would suggest a local law centre or advice centre. CAB are great but you might end up seeing a volunteer to start with who is not a Welfare Rights specialist. Call CLS (community legal services) who are googlable and have a helpline to find out who can help in your area.

I work at an advice centre and although i am not a welfare rights specialist i know that the appeal success rate is really positive. Speed is of the essence though as there will be a tight deadline for you to respond. Good luck smile

HoneyDragon Sun 11-Nov-12 07:51:44

Can also recommend mind they are lovely. They will speak to you on the phone, Poppet.

Do you not have a sympathetic gp who can help you?

FancyPuffin Sun 11-Nov-12 08:12:59

((((((((Stratters)))))))) sad

Firstly this is worth a read

You should be able to appeal to the upper tribunal.

Will be back with more info asap. I'm also representing a family member at tribunal on 22nd so will know more about what happens there.

My Mum suffers much the same as you and receives ESA and DLA do you get DLA yet?

ArtVandelay Sun 11-Nov-12 08:17:14

That's terrible, but so unfair that it wont stand up - surely. I have zero experience of this but in official matters its usually a good idea to get some facts in writing. Dates, names etc. And send them recorded delivery ASAP. Can a DD run to the post office for you tomorrow? Get the process started while you gather support from GP etc. Good luck. Bloody ATOS want stringing up.

ettiketti Sun 11-Nov-12 08:19:29

Stratters, I can't offer legal advice, but we don't live too far apart iirc and I'd be more than happy to offer you support and friendship. Honestly mean that.

Anxiety and depression are crippling, I suffered for 16 years. Please please let me help if I can xx

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