Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Funeral next week- awkward situation

(13 Posts)
aimingtobeaperfectionist Sat 10-Nov-12 22:31:21

My DH grandmother died recently and the funeral is next week.
There are two cars going which can seat up to 6 people each.
DH mum dad and sibling, his aunt uncle and their 2 children, me DH and our DC will be going so 10 in total.
The problem is, DH family (mum dad and sibling, the rest are fine) hate me. Lots of background story I'm afraid, recent bad arguments etc.
Don't want any of this to be brought up at funeral as we loved his gran, she was his closest family member, this has hit him hard, it's not the right time to deal with other issues etc.
I just can't face going in the car with them.
It really is that bad.
There is no way I'll let DH go alone so I know I'm just going to have to get on with it but it's making me ill.
Any advice welcome.

aimingtobeaperfectionist Sat 10-Nov-12 22:32:11

I've not gone into details of why we don't get on as I'm not sure it's relevant. Let me know if I'm wrong on that one!

Tommy Sat 10-Nov-12 22:33:45

rise above it
think about the wine you can have when you get home.
You're going for your DH and his grandmother - they are the most important people here.

AuraofDora Sat 10-Nov-12 22:36:48

agree with Tommy.. think of her and your DH and you will be there for each other

hope the service reflects her and her life and day goes as well as it can

Floralnomad Sat 10-Nov-12 22:37:45

I assume that your DH knows how you feel about his family ? If so could you both just not go in the cars and get yourself to the funeral ? A friend of mine was in a similar position last year and that's what they did. Sorry for your loss

EverybodysSpookyEyed Sat 10-Nov-12 22:42:38

can't you just get into the other car?

EverybodysSpookyEyed Sat 10-Nov-12 22:46:04

Just thinking back to my grandma's family, my grandad, dad, aunt and uncle went in one and my mum and the kids went in the other (my cousins were adults)

aimingtobeaperfectionist Sat 10-Nov-12 22:47:38

Its definately going to be about his gran and him (for me anyway) but I'm terribly hormonal weepy an I want to stay strong even if they bring anything up which they are likely to.
It's so bad now I can't even bring myself to look at them.
Yes I'd thought of getting in the other car but that means DH has to go alone with them. He's not happy with them either.
He really wants to go in the cars though as he feels it's 'proper' and more respectful for his gran.

EverybodysSpookyEyed Sat 10-Nov-12 22:49:18

How long is the car journey? How old are your kids?

aimingtobeaperfectionist Sat 10-Nov-12 22:49:32

There's only room for me and DC to go with his aunt uncle and kids, not the three of us.
In his parents car there is room but also this great big brewing festering hatred between us all...

aimingtobeaperfectionist Sat 10-Nov-12 22:50:07

It's not far so I know I'll have to just get on with it.
DC is 6 months.

EverybodysSpookyEyed Sat 10-Nov-12 22:57:54

It's hard but I think you may have to just go with it and fuss over baby!

or are there car sea issues you could blame for having to go under your own steam?

Don't engage and look out of the window.

UniS Sat 10-Nov-12 22:58:37

DC is 6 months old... you have your perfect excuse to use your own car and infants car seat and meet DH at the funeral/ burial site from what ever vehicle he has travelled in.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now