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I think my partner is leaving me...

(9 Posts)
The3Bears Sat 10-Nov-12 16:33:24

We've been together for 8 years and have 2 children a 6 yr old and a 12 week old, we've been rowing all week because of me I just lack trust, he went out last weekend and didnt answer the phone to me a 2am after i text him saying I needed help with ds2 as he was crying alot and not well. he came home at 4.30 am and then that was it I was stubborn the day after and didnt speak and then when we did we had a terrible row sad
Now he's said he needs space and has gone to his mums, i've been in tears and rang him asking him to come home and he just said he hasnt been happy in a while but he loves me sad
I've text him saying i'll give him space and leave him alone for a few days, but I honestly dont think he's going to come home. I am distraught and really struggling with the children im ebf ds2 and finding it so difficult atm as I havent eaten properly in a week now, I just feel so sick and alone.
Does anyone have any advice, I just cant cope and feel like a huge failure sad

nkf Sat 10-Nov-12 16:40:39

Why don't you trust him? Do you have good reason? Even if he is leaving, there's no reason why you should be sole carer of the children. He can leave you if he wants but not his responsibilities. Chin up, girl. It sounds like a storm in a teacup to me (unless the trust issues are for a good reason or you are paranoid.) Don't let him just fanny off and have a nice time being Mr Bachelor at his mother's.

MadAboutHotChoc Sat 10-Nov-12 16:44:54

Do you think he has someone else? Its very rare for a man to leave his family and home comforts for a bit of space.

Tell us more about the rows and why you are struggling to trust him? Has he been showing signs of cheating?

The3Bears Sat 10-Nov-12 16:47:19

Not really I mean when we were first together he kissed 2 other girls (feel stupid) but I decided to stay with him and I guess last week it was so bad because it's the first time he's been on a night out since ds2 and im feeling super hormonal so it made it 50x worse. I think I lack alot of confidence and therfore think he can do alot better than me, which is silly I know he loves me but it's all in my head.
I know he will come back to see the children but it's so hard, I dont like it that he's okay with just leaving me and the children and thinks he can come back when he wants. I cant run away from all this as I put the children first.

The3Bears Sat 10-Nov-12 16:51:49

I dont think he does have someone else, but I know it's v weird for him to just leave us and need space.
Well after he came home we didnt speak til sunday and then all this week he's been v distant with me and wouldnt even come near me so it made my suspicions worse.

He said it was because we were in each others space after the argument (he was made redundant 2 weeks ago, but got another job on Thurs) and now he's just saying that i'll never trust him and hes fed up of the arguments so he needs space sad
Its not looking good at all is it

AbigailAdams Sat 10-Nov-12 17:20:49

Hmm. So he feels the way to sort this out is to actually not support you with your 2 young children, stay out til 4:30am and then run home to mommy when you call him on his behaviour. Way to go with gaining someone's trust. Is he an adult or a stroppy teenager?

Oh and you aren't "hormonal" you are pretty stressed and sleep-deprived.

AbigailAdams Sat 10-Nov-12 17:23:23

Understandably pretty stressed and sleep-deprived that should have said.

HairyGrotter Sat 10-Nov-12 17:27:44

He sounds extremely selfish. He's OK to just run off to mum's, leaving the mother of his children to cope with them? He expects you to sit there waiting for him to make up his mind? In limbo? No chance.

He needs to grow up and be a man. Sounds like a child! He has responsibilities!

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 10-Nov-12 17:46:17

I hate to say it but I'd take him on face value. If the argument about the night out was the last straw for him, this could have been brewing for some time. It's a pretty nasty way to finish things and also very irresponsible to leave you on your own with two small children but I think you have to work on the basis that he's being 100% serious and take things from there. Get someone to help you with the children... do you have family or friends you can call upon?

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