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When is it time to give up?

5 replies

Gbnewbie · 10/11/2012 14:26

I'm 26.5 weeks with my first child (his 2nd) and feel like the father (who I don't live with) is doing everything he can to push me into madness. How do you decide whether to keep trying?
We've been together for around 1.5 yrs known each other a lot longer. The pg was unplanned and unwanted by him.

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izzyizin · 10/11/2012 14:37

Why would you want to 'keep trying' with someone who's 'doing everything he can to push you into madness'?

Are you hoping he'll succeed so that you can say 'look what you made me do' if you snap and go at him with an axe?

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/11/2012 14:41

You absolutely don't keep trying with a person who hates you and your baby so much that they are trying to drive you mad. You disengage completely, get on with your life best you can on your own terms and stop listening to a word they say... Drop all contact, be with people who love you rather than hate you, and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy in peace.

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Gbnewbie · 10/11/2012 16:12

Can't work out if perhaps my hormones are making me more sensitive, leading to misinterpretation. When we try to talk things over we just can't seem to communicate. It feels to me that he's trying to turn everything round to be my fault. He says I'm not trying hard enough to include him, am not making enough effort to see them. I desperately want him involved and to see them. Time is running out and I want us to be a family if at all possible but he seems to put obstacles in the way.
I think I'm a reasonable person but perhaps I'm not? Doesn't everyone feel they are?

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/11/2012 16:54

I don't understand, really. You want him to be involved (sounds a simple enough aim) and all he can talk about - when he finally communicates - are your 'faults', makes obstacles and says that you're not trying hard enough. Plus he doesn't want the baby anyway? I don't think hormones have anything to do with it - anyone would struggle to see what the problem is here.

What do you mean 'time is running out'?

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Gbnewbie · 10/11/2012 17:27

Thank you for your input CES. I don't think I'm great at pinpointing/ summarising things to explain things well.
I want the baby to have his dad&sister in his everyday life. If only we could learn to communicate without it turning into misunderstanding&upset they I want us to be together.
He didn't want another child but since he got over the initial shock and blame he wants to be there for his son whether we are together or not.
'Anyone would struggle to see what the problem is here' - do you mean it's obvious that I should walk away based on what I've said?
I meant that the baby will be here soon.