I've been with dp for nearly 2 years now, we have a 5wo dd, I have a dd from a previous relationship and he has 4dc from a previous, he is currently going through the courts to have access due to his ex, whole other thread on that one!
While I was pg with dd I fell out of love, for want of a better phrase, everyone convinced me to stay, telling me it was just the hormones and I'd change my mind etc etc. I stayed but now I'm thinking I really should have got him to leave.
Since dds birth I've noticed a few things,,for example, he is a master at gas lighting, he told me I hadn't put the bottles in to sterilize, while arguing the toss the microwave pinged, the bottles were inside!
He is crappy with the housework, for the 2 weeks I was off my feet after an emergency c section plus infection of my scar he did most of the housework but this means I have to worship the ground he walks on from now on because he's continuing that by putting on a load of washing once a week.
He barely does anything for dd, he hasn't changed a nappy since we were in hospital, he has yet to dress her. He's helped me bathe her once and other than making one or two bottles and sterilising them once, doesn't help with feeding in any way, he barely cuddles her and despite numerous promises, has not done a "night shuft". If I go out, I take dd with me, school runs, shopping, even going to the toilet some days!
The other day, I was running dd1 a bath, id put dd2 in the Moses basket while I checked it and got dd's bath stuff from the shelves. While I was doing this dd2 started to whine so I was shouting across the landing so she could hear meand didn't get too stressed, dp heard me and marched upstairs and called me everyname under the sun and said I was neglecting our child and he should just go pick her up and walk away and take her "somewhere safe" all in front of my dd1 who is 8. I've since had to comfort her and assure her she isn't going to loose her baby sister. He hasn't apologised to dd1 and thinks.I'm stupid for wanting him to.
He constantly talksd down to me, he is very good at maths whereas I'm rubbish,he has helped dd1 massively in maths and uses this as the proverbial stick to beat me with. I am nor thick, I went to an entrance only grammar school and although, I am unemployed, this is through disability not by choice! Try telling him that.
He has already lost one family and as much as I would never stop him seeing dd2, he has no where to go f I kick him out, what if he follows through on his threat to take dd? I can't loose my baby, my girls are my life.
There is part of me that does love him but I can't keep on like this, I don't want to end up depressed again. If I could get someone else to come in, end it, make him leave while I wasn't there, I would! I know that sounds so cold and heartless but I'm just sick of the bad far outweighing the good!
What can I do, I honestly don't know where to turn.
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16 replies
ithastobeNAICEham · 07/11/2012 20:40
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